Bali Couples Retreats

20/06/2024

BLOG on the Gottman Institute Website.

03/12/2023

2 years ago we were in the thick of it - 2 years of running a busy psychology practice through Melbourne lockdowns had taken its toll on us as individuals.

We were in a place where we just didn’t have the energy to give each other. We just needed to survive it. But we were lucky we had done lots of work on our relationship in the past. So we knew where we were at and we regularly acknowledged it. Yes, with some nice conversations but also moment of “this is sh*t”, “yep it sucks, you feel it too good we’re on the same page”.

And then we booked in a time when we could do something about it. In 2022 we booked a Bali holiday (and had no idea this would be the start of something much bigger).

Just knowing there was an end date really helped. We knew we needed to focus on ourselves to get through the challenges we were facing but we also felt secure knowing we both still prioritised “us” and were taking action to create space for us.

So if you’re in that place it’s ok. Your relationship will be ok but you need to talk about it. Even if you think you’re both on the same page - voicing it and choosing to do something about it, increases feelings of security in your relationship.

Follow us for more relationship tips from Dr Katie Stirling - Clinical Psychologist and Certified Gottman Couples Therapist.

16/09/2023

When we look back at the best moments in life - most of them will be about the people we were with. Sure we remember the beautiful country we explored or the amazing meal we enjoyed, but our most precious moments are often remembered by the people we enjoyed them with. 💕💕

So how is it then we can get so caught up in life, we forget to prioritise the ones we love? How can we take for granted that they will be there - once this project ends, or we finish this course or when the kids don’t need so much of our attention? Easy - because we’re focussed on achievement, we’re stressed, we’re exhausted, we’re trying to balance creating an amazing life with being there to enjoy it. 💕💕

If you’re a busy couple - one of the most important things is to call it out. You know it, your partner knows it. Rather than ignoring it and it becoming a bigger problem, when we own it, acknowledge it and talk about it - we move from it being a problem between us to a problem we are facing together. That act in itself unites us in a shared problem. 💏👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

And then we can take committed action to change it. Sometimes that action may mean recognising we can’t change parts of it right now but we put a plan in place. For example when we were at our busiest running a psychology practice during lockdown we frequently recognised where we were at - super busy, exhausted with little left at the end of the day to give, AND booked the break were we could rejuvenate, unwind and reconnect.

Acknowledging it & booking in future action (e.g., couples therapy, couples retreat, holiday) removes the uncertainty and assumptions we can get stuck in - the worry that maybe we’re not on the same page, the thought maybe they don’t care enough to prioritise me, the feelings of abandonment or rejection that can creep in. Even when we can’t take immediate action, it provides reassurance that we’re both on the same page and committed to taking the action needed for us to have the best relationship we can. 💕

Follow for more relationship strategies.

09/09/2023

Communication is fundamental in our relationship. Yet it’s so easy to get caught in reactivity and lose sight of what is most important. 💕

The Gottman’s 4 horsemen inevitably show up in most relationships. Why? Because our couple relationships are where we are most vulnerable. Because this person is the one who is most important to us. The person who’s opinion really matters and how we want to love and care about us the most. 🤍🤍

So if we care so much why do we get reactive. We’ll because fear can creep it. What happens if they don’t respond in the way we want them to? Maybe we’re not feeling the support or love we want or in the way we want it. So we go into the conversation ready to protect ourselves. And this is kind of what the four horsemen are. Ways of protecting ourselves but the kicker is they actually do the opposite. They actually stop us getting our needs met in the relationship. They stop us receiving the understanding and love we want 💕💕

So if you’re human - like us- and one or some of these ring true for you. Follow us to learn the antidotes - or the alternative ways of communicating that will help you get the love and understanding you want.

05/09/2023

Unfortunately so many of us were not taught how to express and respond to difficult emotions.

As  highlights it is important that we respond to emotion with validation. Reflecting to our loved ones that their feelings are perfectly normal and valid. 🤗

We can't change the past but we can choose how we respond now in our relationships with our partner. If you find yourself minimising or ignoring your partner's hurt (and there are lots of reasons why we do this) instead try acknowledging their experience. Tell them you understand how they feel and if you don’t ask questions to understand more about why they feel what they feel 🫶🏻🫰🏻💕

Validation fuels connection! Enhancing feelings of safety and security in your relationship. 👫👬👭

☑️ Save this as a reminder to slow down and be present with your partner.

☑️ Share with the one you love.

☑️ Follow us for more practical relationship tips and reminders 💕💕

03/09/2023

Happy Father’s Day wherever you are on the journey (especially those TTC) and whatever role you play in creating safety and security in a child’s life. 💕

And a special Happy Father’s Day to this guy. 👴

So grateful that our kids get to grow up with a dad as kind and loving as you. 😍🥰😍

A dad that creates the safety and security they need to be their best little human selves. 👨‍👧👨‍👦

A dad who is so present in their lives and who is completely committed to creating the best life possible for them - whatever that means as they grow and evolve. 👶🏼👧

A dad who can find the joy in life with them - even if that means running the gangs (streets) of bali being bombarded by water balloons. 🤣😂🤣

Thank you for being such an incredible dad to our beautiful kids. 🙏🙏🙏

And thank you for being the best co-parent I could wish for! I’m so grateful we found each other at the time of life we did - where we knew we were choosing a partner for ourselves but also a parent for our kids. Couldn’t have chosen better! I am so lucky that I get to parent with you and so grateful that our kids get to have the most amazing dad 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

02/09/2023

So we have some BIG news! After years of offering luxury couples retreats on the Mornington Peninsula and across Australia, we have moved our couples retreats to Bali! And we have an exciting new offering- think the ultimate in luxury, relaxation, life-changing learning, fun activities, oh and of course delicious meals and scrumptious massages! 🧘‍♀️🧘🧘‍♂️

We’ve been holidaying in Bali for years- it has been our go to anytime we feel the need to hit reset or to rejuvenate our relationship. There is something special about this place. The people are so happy, welcoming, and kind. Their customs and culture always remind us what is important in life and inspire us to re-calibrate and re-prioritise.💕💕

The food is incredible! The weather is amazing – year-round sunshine! The massages and pampering leaves you floating out the door. There is just so much love, happiness, wellness, and joy. ☀️😊☀️

We came here thinking we might set up some retreats and it’s become more than that- it’s become home. I don’t think it’s an understatement to say after years of running a busy psychology practice through Melbourne lockdowns – Bali saved our relationship. 💏👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

So, if you’re feeling some of that relationship burnout or you just want to invest in your relationship in the most positive way, join Clinical Psychologist and Certified Gottman Couples Therapist in Bali for one of our life changing immersion retreats! ✈️🌎✈️

Want to know more….message us for an info pack or jump on our website. 💌

See you in Paradise! 🏖️🏝️

09/05/2022

Couples Retreats!

Our retreats are an intensive form of therapy, allowing couples to invest in each other over a 3day period.

To find out more about our couples retreats, head to our website.

04/05/2022

04/05/2022

Move your body to reward your mind! 👟🥰
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