Tales of a High Functioning Hot Mess

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✨✨Moments of Contemplation✨✨✨I woke up this morning in a contemplative mood. As I looked in the mirror while getting rea...
04/29/2021

✨✨Moments of Contemplation✨✨✨

I woke up this morning in a contemplative mood. As I looked in the mirror while getting ready for the day I started to think of where I have been in my life and where I am now. I was overcome with a emotion.

You see, I come from a family culture of generational trauma. Which is essentially developmental trauma passed down. I have spent most of my life trying to understand my family dynamics. In University I studied child development and neurobiology. I had the belief that there must be some biological predisposition for the emotions and mood swings I witnessed and sometimes experienced. Even after studying I was not convinced that it was hereditary. Some would have said that my reluctance was denial. But something inside of me knew that all the things I had seen and been through had to have had some effect. Then one day, I saw a social media post about healing at the nervous system level. It was like the missing link had been put in front of me. From there I learned that it was not me, it was what happened to me, as I had suspected for some time. So I started to learn and do the work. I have gone to places within that I never thought I could or to be honest wanted to. And for that I am so grateful. Because of the work, I am breaking the cycle. Because of the inner work, I am breaking patterns. Because of the work, I am stepping in to my authenticity. Living the life I want. And of the things that brings me to my authenticity is being a trauma informed coach.

If you are wanting to break patterns and step into your authentic self and shine the way you were meant to, I can help. I a currently taking new clients. So if this is your time, DM me and let’s talk.

✨✨Moments of Contemplation✨✨✨

I woke up this morning in a contemplative mood. As I looked in the mirror while getting ready for the day I started to think of where I have been in my life and where I am now. I was overcome with a emotion.

You see, I come from a family culture of generational trauma. Which is essentially developmental trauma passed down. I have spent most of my life trying to understand my family dynamics. In University I studied child development and neurobiology. I had the belief that there must be some biological predisposition for the emotions and mood swings I witnessed and sometimes experienced. Even after studying I was not convinced that it was hereditary. Some would have said that my reluctance was denial. But something inside of me knew that all the things I had seen and been through had to have had some effect. Then one day, I saw a social media post about healing at the nervous system level. It was like the missing link had been put in front of me. From there I learned that it was not me, it was what happened to me, as I had suspected for some time. So I started to learn and do the work. I have gone to places within that I never thought I could or to be honest wanted to. And for that I am so grateful. Because of the work, I am breaking the cycle. Because of the inner work, I am breaking patterns. Because of the work, I am stepping in to my authenticity. Living the life I want. And of the things that brings me to my authenticity is being a trauma informed coach.

If you are wanting to break patterns and step into your authentic self and shine the way you were meant to, I can help. I a currently taking new clients. So if this is your time, DM me and let’s talk.

Geeking out on a Saturday evening!🤩 As a trauma informed coach, it is essential that I continue to learn, in order to be...
04/24/2021

Geeking out on a Saturday evening!🤩 As a trauma informed coach, it is essential that I continue to learn, in order to best serve my clients.
#traumainformed #knowledgeispower #professionaldevelopment #traumacoach #nervoussystemhealth #nervoussystemregulation #myhappyplace

Geeking out on a Saturday evening!🤩 As a trauma informed coach, it is essential that I continue to learn, in order to best serve my clients.
#traumainformed #knowledgeispower #professionaldevelopment #traumacoach #nervoussystemhealth #nervoussystemregulation #myhappyplace

Hot off the press! My second blog post. In this post, I talk about how I navigated the anxiety that moving brought up fo...
02/27/2021
Moving Day: Not just about boxes and furniture

Hot off the press! My second blog post. In this post, I talk about how I navigated the anxiety that moving brought up for me and what it all means.

Please feel free to share!

#blogginglife #authenticself #thisisme #selfawarenessjourney #takingtimeforme

https://aprilmlupi.medium.com/moving-day-not-just-about-boxes-and-furniture-d957a012e565

As I was getting ready to move I could feel the anxiety start to rise. I took a moment to sit with the sensations. Let me tell you, this…

Throwback Thursday reflections!
02/18/2021

Throwback Thursday reflections!

✨25 year old me vs 45 year old me. ✨

The other day, I found this photo of me from when I was 25. I could not stop looking at it. I remember back then not really liking my body, feeling like I always needed to improve it. I remember not totally feeling happy with myself. I was always trying to fix myself.

Now enters 45 year old me. Twenty years older and 20 years wiser. Somewhere along the journey I realized that I did not need to be fixed. I needed to heal. We all have moments where we feel like we are broken and need to be fixed, and if we could only fix what was broken we would be happy.

The truth is we are not broken. We are wounded and we need to heal. There is beauty and a freedom in this realization and there is beauty in the process. When we shift our perspective from needing to be fixed to needing to be healed, it is easier to provide ourselves with self compassion and empathy: the magical ingredients. When allow ourselves to see ourselves as beautifully imperfect humans. We allow ourselves space for our expansion.

So next time you as yourself “What is wrong with me??”, step back and aske yourself “What am I feeling?” “What do I need to heal?”. You will be surprised at the difference you will feel in your body.

✨25 year old me vs 45 year old me. ✨                                 The other day, I found this photo of me from when I...
02/18/2021

✨25 year old me vs 45 year old me. ✨

The other day, I found this photo of me from when I was 25. I could not stop looking at it. I remember back then not really liking my body, feeling like I always needed to improve it. I remember not totally feeling happy with myself. I was always trying to fix myself.

Now enters 45 year old me. Twenty years older and 20 years wiser. Somewhere along the journey I realized that I did not need to be fixed. I needed to heal. We all have moments where we feel like we are broken and need to be fixed, and if we could only fix what was broken we would be happy.

The truth is we are not broken. We are wounded and we need to heal. There is beauty and a freedom in this realization and there is beauty in the process. When we shift our perspective from needing to be fixed to needing to be healed, it is easier to provide ourselves with self compassion and empathy: the magical ingredients. When allow ourselves to see ourselves as beautifully imperfect humans. We allow ourselves space for our expansion.

So next time you as yourself “What is wrong with me??”, step back and aske yourself “What am I feeling?” “What do I need to heal?”. You will be surprised at the difference you will feel in your body.

✨25 year old me vs 45 year old me. ✨

The other day, I found this photo of me from when I was 25. I could not stop looking at it. I remember back then not really liking my body, feeling like I always needed to improve it. I remember not totally feeling happy with myself. I was always trying to fix myself.

Now enters 45 year old me. Twenty years older and 20 years wiser. Somewhere along the journey I realized that I did not need to be fixed. I needed to heal. We all have moments where we feel like we are broken and need to be fixed, and if we could only fix what was broken we would be happy.

The truth is we are not broken. We are wounded and we need to heal. There is beauty and a freedom in this realization and there is beauty in the process. When we shift our perspective from needing to be fixed to needing to be healed, it is easier to provide ourselves with self compassion and empathy: the magical ingredients. When allow ourselves to see ourselves as beautifully imperfect humans. We allow ourselves space for our expansion.

So next time you as yourself “What is wrong with me??”, step back and aske yourself “What am I feeling?” “What do I need to heal?”. You will be surprised at the difference you will feel in your body.

It has been a week now, since I moved in to my own space. Although I am still unpacking and creating my home, I have not...
02/14/2021

It has been a week now, since I moved in to my own space. Although I am still unpacking and creating my home, I have noticed some shifts. I am taking more time for myself. I have a powder room ensuite off my bedroom and I think that is my favourite space. I have taken time for proper skin care. Something that I have not done in a long time. I am slowly creating routines that bring me back to centre. That bring me back to me. I am taking my time to discover what brings me joy. To discover my non-negotiables. The things that keep me anchored. I am also taking the time to feel. To feel all uncomfortable feelings that have kept me stuck. Stuck in a holding pattern and stuck in old counter productive patterns. I am sure there are things I “should” be doing but right now, but instead, I am in essence watering my garden. Just as plants need water to grow, we need self nurturing to grow!

It is amazing the difference we feel in our bodies when we take the time to listen and follow our instincts. Sometimes to grow and bring calm to our nervous systems, we have to stop “shoulding” on ourselves and start listening to ourselves. When we take the time to really listen to our bodies, it can lead us to some of our most healing, calming and joyous moments of our lives!

What are some of the ways you connect with yourself?

It has been a week now, since I moved in to my own space. Although I am still unpacking and creating my home, I have noticed some shifts. I am taking more time for myself. I have a powder room ensuite off my bedroom and I think that is my favourite space. I have taken time for proper skin care. Something that I have not done in a long time. I am slowly creating routines that bring me back to centre. That bring me back to me. I am taking my time to discover what brings me joy. To discover my non-negotiables. The things that keep me anchored. I am also taking the time to feel. To feel all uncomfortable feelings that have kept me stuck. Stuck in a holding pattern and stuck in old counter productive patterns. I am sure there are things I “should” be doing but right now, but instead, I am in essence watering my garden. Just as plants need water to grow, we need self nurturing to grow!

It is amazing the difference we feel in our bodies when we take the time to listen and follow our instincts. Sometimes to grow and bring calm to our nervous systems, we have to stop “shoulding” on ourselves and start listening to ourselves. When we take the time to really listen to our bodies, it can lead us to some of our most healing, calming and joyous moments of our lives!

What are some of the ways you connect with yourself?

MOVING DAY!!!!!After nearly 2.5 years since separating from my ex and 8 months of couch surfing, I am finally into my ow...
02/05/2021

MOVING DAY!!!!!

After nearly 2.5 years since separating from my ex and 8 months of couch surfing, I am finally into my own space! In some ways it has felt like an eternity waiting for this day to come. And in others it feels like life with my ex never happened.
I remember when I first moved out of the matrimonial home, I had a plan. I was going to take my part of the equity and buy a home. I even started looking for one. But the more I was out of the toxic environment and the more I did the inner work, I could see homeownership is not for me. So I found myself a perfect apartment for me and my son! I am going to time to continue to discover parts of me that were hidden and parts of me that have never been discovered. I invite the process with all its messiness and all its joys.

Stay tuned for my next blog post as I navigate through the nervous system ups and downs of this much awaited moment.

MOVING DAY!!!!!

After nearly 2.5 years since separating from my ex and 8 months of couch surfing, I am finally into my own space! In some ways it has felt like an eternity waiting for this day to come. And in others it feels like life with my ex never happened.
I remember when I first moved out of the matrimonial home, I had a plan. I was going to take my part of the equity and buy a home. I even started looking for one. But the more I was out of the toxic environment and the more I did the inner work, I could see homeownership is not for me. So I found myself a perfect apartment for me and my son! I am going to time to continue to discover parts of me that were hidden and parts of me that have never been discovered. I invite the process with all its messiness and all its joys.

Stay tuned for my next blog post as I navigate through the nervous system ups and downs of this much awaited moment.

Sometimes you need a dance party in the living room on a Saturday night! So blessed to be living with one of my very bes...
01/16/2021

Sometimes you need a dance party in the living room on a Saturday night! So blessed to be living with one of my very best friends during this time! 💖💖💖

01/05/2021
Back in December I decided I was going to start a blog. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. The probl...
01/05/2021
What it Means to be a High Functioning Hot Mess

Back in December I decided I was going to start a blog. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time. The problem was I did not know what story I wanted or needed to tell.

After deciding what story I wanted to tell, I set myself a go "live" date of January 1st. I am so excited to say that I accomplished my goal and on January 1st I published the first installment in Tales of a High Functioning Hot Mess:

"What it Means to be a High Functioning Hot Mess"

This post is a look into what it means to me, to be a high functioning hot mess (HFHM).

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I loved writing it!

#highfunctioninghotmess #selfawareness #selfimprovement

https://aprilmlupi.medium.com/what-it-means-to-be-a-high-functioning-hot-mess-5e720df3ab3e

I was sitting in a class one day listening to a lecture, and the topic of identity came up. The facilitator asked us in four words to tell…

01/05/2021

Hello Everyone!

As you can see my page has gone through a branding change. When I started my coaching Certification, I really started to reflect about the story I wanted to tell and needed to share and from that, Tales of a High Functioning Hot Mess was born!

Really feeling this one today. Sometimes you just have to go with what is coming your way and see where it leads you. So...
12/15/2020

Really feeling this one today. Sometimes you just have to go with what is coming your way and see where it leads you. Sometimes the Universe has something grander in store for you than you could have ever dreamed of. So when it feels like things are not going your way, take a moment, pause and feel the discomfort; get curious about it. What is it telling you? What wisdom lies within it that you have not acknowledged yet? This can be a difficult practice, it can be hard to see the way on our own sometimes. Sometimes we need someone to hold space for us. To shine a light while we explore. That is why I decided to become a coach. To empower others while they lead themselves to their finest hour!

So I did a thing. Last year when I returned to school I realized how much I love to learn. This year, when I realized a ...
12/01/2020

So I did a thing. Last year when I returned to school I realized how much I love to learn. This year, when I realized a return to University was not possible, I decided to follow another passion. I register to become an ICF Registered Coach Practitioner. I have loved every minute of learning and the sessions I have lead thus far. I feel my journey has lead me here and has given me qualities and skills that will allow me the joy of coaching others to realize their dreams. I am looking forward to continued growth as I work my way through the course. Just goes to show, it is never to late to follow a dream! 💖🤩

Although there are 7 days left until fall officially arrives, I can feel the change in the air. For me, there is somethi...
09/15/2020

Although there are 7 days left until fall officially arrives, I can feel the change in the air. For me, there is something so magnificent about fall. The brilliant colours, the cool evenings, sweaters, soup and delicious fall vegetables. It is as if Mother Nature is wrapping her arms around me. But what is most magnificent is fall is the organic preparation for rebirth.

Just as the leaves on the trees turn colours to be shed, our habits change. There is a tendency to be indoors more which can lead to self reflection leading to the shedding of our shadow parts. We can learn new habits, heal old wounds and when spring comes, we will slowly emerge as a rejuvenated version of ourselves.

There is just something so magical about fall, so embrace it and all it has to offer!

All my life I had been active. When I was little I was always outside either riding my bike, or running around. I did gy...
08/22/2020

All my life I had been active. When I was little I was always outside either riding my bike, or running around. I did gymnastics, played basketball and Tae Kwon Do. I was ALWAYS active and when I was with my ex, that all ended. I became a couch potato; and I did not like it. Little did I know, but giving up physical activity was self abandonment.

Eight months after I left my ex, I started looking for a gym. I am not really a fan of traditional gyms. A friend of mine was going to a gym called FRESHFHIIT and said that I should try it. So, I went and I fell in love. Although I loved it, I came to a realization: I am no longer 20! My movements were anything but graceful and I felt all clumsy; a feeling that a former competitive athlete finds odd to say the least. But in that realization there was a beauty, a sense of peace. Realizing I was not 20 allowed me to embrace who I am. I now had the opportunity to learn who I am now and what I am capable of now.

One year and a pandemic later, I am still a member of FRESHFHIIT and I am still loving it! FRESHFHIIT has not only helped me to get reacquainted with myself, it provided me with a community. It is so much more then a gym. It is a safe place to challenge myself with the support of many. It is a place that I can Sweat that sh*t out! It is my happy place.

Thank you FRESHFHIIT!

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