Tranceform Touch

Tranceform Touch When you have better ways to respond to life, you experience life differently. See how easy it is to change for the better! Spiritual Trancework

Operating as usual

10/14/2020
The Sensualist

The Sensualist

The Ugly Mirror

Most of the couples I’ve worked with, and spoken to about their s*xual concerns are dealing with the problem of defensive behaviour around s*xuality. Even when other areas of the relationship are excellent, sometimes the subject of s*x can bring up defensiveness and shut down the clear and productive communication channels.

Bill Eddy say this on “Defensive Behavior: This insight-oriented response is normal, of course. In her book, A Mind of Its Own: How Your Brain Distorts and Deceives, researcher Cordelia Fine tells us that when other people act badly, we automatically believe they are doing it intentionally. But when WE act badly, our own brains automatically treat it as inadvertent, a mistake, unavoidable, or caused by forces beyond our control. This double standard allows us to automatically feel morally superior while protecting our own egos from thinking we are jerks, incompetent, or crazy/stupid/evil/immoral. In other words, our basic and automatic brain responses don’t help in today’s complex world and often make things worse.”

My note: there is an acronym DARVO which people associate with sociopathic and narcissistic abuse, as well as s*xual abuse perpetrators. Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. Yet this kind of tactic is ALSO used in the gentler context of defensive day to day interactions, creating frustrating habits and patterns of interaction between: spouses, colleagues, family members.

If someone is confronted “this hurt me when you said or did xyz” or “I thought this was unfair or mean when xyz happened” , their own pattern of defensiveness means that rather than considering the other’s experience, there is an immediate Denial, attack the other, and ultimately reversal, it must have been your fault, you’re too sensitive, you always read into things, why do you always do and say these things, what is wrong with you, anything other than an acknowledgement that you may have participated in an action that hurt someone else… and could be accounted for.

1. Where do you participate in denying responsibility and blame shifting?
2. What does denying and defending allow you to avoid seeing or thinking about?
3. What would it look like, if you stopped blaming and labeling others as “difficult” “demanding” “unstable” and instead considered the facts of what was being presented?

My work is teaching people how to “make love better” and whilst this subject is not a s*xy subject, intimacy involves vulnerability, honest relating, and trust. Moving past the bodies frictioning and into hearts meeting.

Defensive patterns and DARVO ultimately destroy the relationship. At best, they prevent it from being anything more than superficial interactions designed to “keep the peace” and prevent any real intimacy, trust and knowing.

06/17/2020

From a happy client, this is just ONE of the things you can expect: I have been dealing with an ankle and knee injury sustained in a fall on the stairs at work. I am a gentleman in my mid 50's and I also have benefits at work that give me access to physio treatments. I say these things to add context to my review of the massage and what to me is best described as a scraping treatment I have received at my own cost from Freja. The treatments I was receiving through work, while providing some relief in the form of light massage, ultrasound, the wearing of a brace and topical anti inflammatories helped limit the pain, they did little to promote improved mobility and return to an active lifestyle.
Freja was able to do in two treatments (so far because I will be going back!) what 8 months of physio has not been able to do and that is to gain mobility! Her treatment regime is intense and in depth lasting well over an hour that involved deep firm massage to the muscles of my lower leg that reveal tension and referred pain in my ankle and knee. This was followed up by deep scraping of ligaments and tendons around the ankle using scraping tools ( I have learned are called Graston massage tools ) that broke up multiple sites of adhesions and tension that regular massage could not access. Following up all of this was some guided stretching.
Post massage the benefits were immediate. Gone were the random jolts of pain that I would have when walking or moving about the house or yard. The sense of unsteadiness when transitioning from one surface to another or stepping off curbs or using stairs. It has allowed me to walk for longer distances after having to limit my walking to a few hundred meters at most.
If you are tired with the pace of recovery from injury and want to see real progress I highly recommend seeing Freja

AWESOME https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters/
05/09/2020
Harriet Lerner and Brené - I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters | Brené Brown

AWESOME https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters/

This two-episode special is based on a course that Dr. Harriet Lerner and I did together on her groundbreaking book, “Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts.” You can expect authentic, hard conversations (and one helluva role play) about making mistakes, healing hur...

03/15/2020
Helpful
02/16/2020
Helping a child in pain

Helpful

Pain expert Leora Kuttner shares up-to-date understandings about children’s experience of pain and some ways to help them reduce it.

Elle Chase, S*x Educator
02/06/2020

Elle Chase, S*x Educator

Fuuuuuck. This hit home.
.

#repost @witchdoctorpoet
・・・
A gem from @viriyaakarunaa
For more info on “Healing The Inner Child” - click the link in my bio
#parentification #parentifiedchild #parentified_daughters #innerchildhealing #innerchild #innerchildtherapy

02/06/2020
TMJ Exercises #1

For my grinders and clenchers:
give that jaw a little love and relief https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM18snVgV_c

Stretch your clenching muscles, strengthen muscles that oppose clenching and exercise your tongue as you help your TMJ tracking improve. Best done in conjunc...

02/05/2020
Return To Now
01/31/2020

Return To Now

Elle Chase, S*x Educator
01/27/2020

Elle Chase, S*x Educator

#repost @shespends
・・・
WHO PROFITS? ✨ when we experience painful feelings, they rarely exist in a vacuum. While all emotions are valid, feeling like we need to change ourselves physically, or like we need to buy things when we’re down benefits others more than ourselves. Who profits when we eviscerate our own bodies? Who benefits when we decide we’re not enough? Diet companies. Makeup companies. Clothing companies. Fitness companies. 👛 so what can we do? Investigating emotions is a great first step. Feeling like we want to change often has deeper roots. Journal about it! If you can access therapy, talk with your therapist about what you’re feeling and why you might be feeling this way. ✨ has this been something you’ve grappled with? How do you cope with it?

Human Givens
01/17/2020
Human Givens

Human Givens

It is so important that we meet our emotional needs for attention, community and intimacy.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jan/16/the-agony-of-weekend-loneliness-i-wont-speak-to-another-human-until-monday?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Tweet

In our recent podcast, Carmel Austin discusses how we can help with the growing challenge of loneliness and social isolation. https://soundcloud.com/humangivens/episode-18-loneliness-and-social-isolation-with-carmel-austin

Life is better when you understand 1. what your anger represents and 2. take care of it instead of lashing out.  Many pe...
12/30/2019

Life is better when you understand 1. what your anger represents and 2. take care of it instead of lashing out. Many people are stuck with anger as their "default" and think it comes from outside of them. Someone "making them mad." Not an effective way to move though life.... I know it first hand. Once you start using better tools, a lot of the reasons for anger no longer exist and you become a better person. Kinder, and less self righteous. Remember this when others are stuck in their own anger defaults too.

#repost @letstalkabouts*xnmentalhealth
・・・
Happy self care Sunday everyone.

This Sunday hasn't been a good one for me I have been really angry I didn't even want to post for self care sunday. The thing which was annoying me something which is really small and shouldn't have cause such a massive reaction so asked myself what else was going on underneath the anger and there was a lot. I was feeling frustrated about something not working when I was depending on it.
I was feeling stressed because someone was depending on me to complete the task.
I was feeling overwhelmed with having to buy a new computer and not knowing what I should look for when comparing computers.
I was feeling exhausted cause I was trying to do all this at the last minute and I had come home from holidays today.
So you can see this one emotion of anger I was using it to encompass all these other emotions. When I stopped to ask myself what was going on underneath I was able to stop and resolve the feelings and work through all the feelings.
So this self care Sunday I wanted to share this amazing image from @gottmaninstitute. It shows how there are so many emotions that lie under anger. The next time you hear yourself saying you're anger ask yourself what else is going on for you it will be help.

#selfcaresunday #sundayself #angericeberg #emotions #feelings #askyourself #anger #noteverythinghastobeperfect #mindfulness #selfworth #ownyouremotions #emotionalhealth #psychology #therapy #understandyourself #understandyouremotions #emotionsarenormal #emotionallyhealthy #somedaysareharderthanothers #itsokaynottobeokay #breathe #takeabreath #letangergo #lettinggo #takeamoment

Elle Chase, S*x Educator
12/18/2019

Elle Chase, S*x Educator

#repost @ptsdcomplex_recovery
・・・
Chronic stress cycle

#cptsd #complextrauma #ptsdawareness #chronicstress #ptsdrecovery #thrivingwithptsd #ptsdsurvivor #empowering #ptsdadailybattle #healingfromwithin #ptsdquotes #ptsdsupport #complexptsd #posttraumaticgrowth #endthestigma #traumaisreal #traumarecovery #complexptsdrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #ptsdwarrior #ptsdhelp #yourmindmatters #childhoodtrauma

Mental Health Awareness Malta
12/12/2019

Mental Health Awareness Malta

It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes
11/20/2019

It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes

Life of Fred Math (Fan Club)
11/13/2019

Life of Fred Math (Fan Club)

For any addiction: detraumatize first, then teach better patterns of emotional management.
11/05/2019

For any addiction: detraumatize first, then teach better patterns of emotional management.

Renée Willis: Freed & On Fire
11/01/2019
Renée Willis: Freed & On Fire

Renée Willis: Freed & On Fire

"Our brains are wired to keep us safe, to detect danger and send us warning signals. What is often labeled as codependency is actually our brain trying to look for safety and make sense of our reality." - Anna Aslanian, LMFT. Read more on the Gottman Relationship Blog.

I highly HIGHLY recommend the books overcoming passive aggression, and the 8 keys to eliminating passive aggressiveness....
10/31/2019
The Secret Life of People With 'Smiling' Depression

I highly HIGHLY recommend the books overcoming passive aggression, and the 8 keys to eliminating passive aggressiveness. In my opinion PA and depression, particularly this hiding depression, go hand in hand. Often people are completely unaware of what they are really feeling. You have to get in tune with what is really going on, and take steps towards authenticity, and healing.

Even people who seem to have it all together can be struggling with depressive thoughts and feelings.

Minds That Matter MHA
10/30/2019

Minds That Matter MHA

#endthestigma

Childhood Trauma And ADHD : Is PTSD Being Misdiagnosed As ADHD?
10/14/2019
Childhood Trauma And ADHD : Is PTSD Being Misdiagnosed As ADHD?

Childhood Trauma And ADHD : Is PTSD Being Misdiagnosed As ADHD?

This article considers the link between childhood trauma and ADHD. In the USA, about one in every nine children are diagnosed with ADHD; this equates to a total of 6.4 million American youths. But …

Mindfulness Ireland
10/07/2019

Mindfulness Ireland

Contemplative Monk
09/27/2019

Contemplative Monk

Raising Ecstasy
09/24/2019

Raising Ecstasy

The Depression Project
09/13/2019

The Depression Project

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