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09/30/2023

"Shamekka* may appear “normal” on the outside, but like so many others with connective tissue disease (CTD) — a broad term for disorders that affect the body’s organs, joints, and structural systems — she is very often living with a great deal of pain.1,2 The 43-year-old mom of three tells Refinery29 she feels like a “hot mess” internally, with multiple symptoms (think fatigue, rashes, swelling, weakness, joint pain, and more) affecting multiple areas of her body almost constantly. Life, she adds, can be unpredictable, complex, and frustrating.
Out of the more than 200 different CTDs that are known to exist,2 Shamekka has been diagnosed with five of them, one of which is scleroderma, where the immune system attempts to repair healthy tissue with extra collagen, causing hardening and tightening of the skin. Scleroderma is more than a skin condition, though — it can also cause serious lung complications such as pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH),3 which is a rare, progressive disease4 marked by abnormally high blood pressure in the arteries of the lungs.5
PAH can occur in people with different CTDs,6 but it is most common in those with scleroderma.7 A study showed that Black women are especially vulnerable to it compared to other races — they're 2.5 times more likely to have it,8 in fact. Those with scleroderma can experience a delay in diagnosis of up to four years, so proper education about the disease is important."

Meet Shamekka, an advocate who lives with eight chronic illnesses, including connective tissue disease. Here, she shares her story.

09/26/2023

Grief work is a process.

09/23/2023

Loyalty
Love
Trust
Honesty

09/16/2023

Awareness on Post-Stroke Depression

Researchers have pinpointed a molecular signature of post-stroke depression, suggesting a link between immune activity in the brain and depression after a stroke.

09/09/2023

Everything You Need To Know About

Aluminum is a metal commonly used in antiperspirants to stop sweating. Learn everything about aluminum in cosmetics and beauty products including what it is, how it’s used, possible negative health…

09/09/2023

Medical Gaslighting 101

09/09/2023

No, Moderate Drinking Isn’t Good For Your Health.

"Despite a long-held belief that moderate amounts of alcohol are good for you, a sweeping new analysis finds that the more you drink, the higher your risk of early death."

Despite beliefs about the benefits of moderate alcohol use, like a daily glass of red wine, a new analysis finds early death risk increases the more you drink.

09/07/2023

Things to remember. ✨🙏✨🌻💖

Things to remember ❤️ ~ Nanea

** Guess what! Here’s a 40% off appreciation coupon for S&C Coffee for Change, on sale at the link in our profile. Share the love! SC40PERCENT **

09/05/2023

Hugs 🤗🫂

Handshakes are so dark ages. Giving a hug is activating energy globally. Here's why.

1. **Emotional Connection:** Hugs are a powerful way to express emotions, affection, and empathy. They can convey warmth, comfort, and support, fostering deeper social connections.

2. **Trust Building:** Hugging can create a sense of trust and intimacy between people. It can help break down social barriers and build stronger relationships, both on an individual and societal level.

3. **Stress Reduction:** Scientifically, hugs trigger the release of oxytocin, often called the "bonding hormone." This can reduce stress and anxiety levels, promoting mental well-being and potentially reducing conflict in society.

4. **Enhanced Communication:** Hugging can be a non-verbal form of communication that transcends language barriers. It's a universal gesture that people from different cultures can understand, promoting social cohesion.

5. **Community and Social Bonds:** In societies where hugging is common, there's often a stronger sense of community and social support. These close bonds can lead to greater resilience in the face of challenges.

6. **Evolutionary Perspective:** From an evolutionary standpoint, physical touch and close social bonds may have been essential for survival in our ancestral past. Hugging could be an adaptation that helped humans cooperate and thrive in difficult times.

Hugs go beyond a simple physical gesture; they play a crucial role in building emotional connections, reducing stress, and fostering trust in society. These effects can contribute to a more evolved and interconnected social fabric, while the physiological responses to hugs provide a deeper spiritual awareness and communication. It doesn't need to be heart to heart for this to happen. When we open our arms to another person, we are embracing ourselves. We are coming home to who we are and what we are.

It takes 5 seconds of a hug to remember yourself.
Please don't pat on back, which disrupts the nervous system and energetic field from making a soul connection.
Hug with a wish of prosperity or good health. Intend while hugging .

Love you !

09/05/2023

PSA from a trauma informed neuropsychologist.

I will say this on a thousand days and in a thousand ways 🫶

09/02/2023

Something to reflect upon.

Her experience in the caption will make you sit back & reflect.

A bit from my past:

My first job after getting my PhD was working as a therapist for people from low socioeconomic backgrounds.

Almost all of them were diagnosed with depression, GAD, bipolar, or BPD. Most were highly medicated— some to a point that still sticks with me years later.

As I got to know their background and lives 3 things were very clear:

1. A vast majority had been emotionally neglected, emotionally abused, or physically abused as children.

2. A vast majority had experienced domestic violence or were currently living in it.

3. Basic needs were never met. Life was an hour by hour struggle. Treatment was an attempt to allow them to get to work in most cases. To just continue to surviving.

It was the start of me questioning the field I had been trained in. One that diagnoses people with disorders without taking a look at the whole picture. It began my path of holistic understanding.

A person cannot be well when one unexpected bill will have them fall behind on rent. When they lay their head on a pillow and all they can think about is expenses piling up. When a bill at the grocery store is almost double what they paid last year when their income has stayed the same.

An entire family unit deeply struggles within survival mode. When a job is lost. When daycare needs to be paid, but so does the light bill— what do you choose? When parents can’t even think about the emotional needs of their children because they have to figure out where their next meal is going to come from.

In 1942, 10 years before the diagnostic manual of mental illness was released Maslow knew what was once just common sense: we have a hierarchy of needs.

At the bottom are basic needs food and shelter. Then safety (resources, security). Then belonging (connection, friendship, intimacy.) Without three things we *will* he sick, period.

I get pushback for questioning the status quo. And I’ll continue to do it. The status quo is keeping people sick. It denies their experience. And it says we should bandage people’s symptoms so they can return to the environment that made them sick.

May we wake up, heal ourselves, and build conscious communities to help each other.

08/29/2023

A Good Read!

We Glorify Overwork and Refuse to Rest.

None of us want to admit that we would rather feel overwhelmed than underwhelmed.

None of us want to admit that we would rather feel overwhelmed than underwhelmed. In fact, we often experience a greater sense of our own value when we’re working than we do when we’re not. Working is not just a way to stay busy, but also to prove our worthiness – to others and to ourselves. T...

08/28/2023

The way all adults talk to and about young people becomes their inner voice.

08/26/2023

A lightened-up baked jalapeño popper recipe.
Stuffed with:
Fresh, herbed
Topped with:
Crispy & irresistible barbecue potato chip topping.

Plus Side:
Vegetarian and gluten-free.

🌶💃🏻

08/25/2023

Here’s a handy free tool Dr Jessica Taylor developed for those wanting to understand their trauma responses.

Here’s a handy free tool I developed for those wanting to understand their trauma responses.

How to use this tool:

(Only use this if you feel able and safe to do so, or do it with someone else, or a therapist)

1. Consider a traumatic experience you have been through in your life

2. When you think about it, what physical sensations does it cause? What injuries or impacts did it have on your body?

3. What emotional reactions have you had to the event (during, and after)? How have they changed?

4. Consider your thoughts about what happened to you. Have these thoughts changed over time? Are there some you avoid or deny? Some that make you angry or sad?

5. Has the trauma changed your beliefs? This could include the way it has changed your beliefs about the world, about yourself, about life, about culture and religion, about justice, meaning, and purpose. How have these beliefs impacted or changed you?

6. What fears have you developed during or since the trauma? What fears are directly related to what happened, and which ones are indirectly related?

7. How do you try to cope with the trauma? What physical, emotional and behavioural coping mechanisms have you developed? What healthy and unhealthy ones do you have?

8. What impact has this all had on your life? You will notice your answers begin to overlap, and interconnect as you move around the circles I have drawn. Think or write about the impact of the wide range of trauma responses you have had since the event.

I hope you find this useful, please feel free to share and keep

Jess ###

08/25/2023

Sensitive people are often tagged as "weak," but they have a fascinating and often brilliant world happening just under the surface.

The next time someone says “You’re too sensitive,” just say, “Thanks! That’s my superpower.”

08/24/2023

My latest blog has arrived! Domestically Abusive Men Describe WHY They Criticize Women's Mothering: Abusers explain their reasons for exploiting what it means to be a good mother, in their own words

My latest blog has arrived! Domestically Abusive Men Describe WHY They Criticize Women's Mothering: Abusers explain their reasons for exploiting what it means to be a good mother, in their own words

Link: https://open.substack.com/pub/dremmakatz/p/domestically-abusive-men-describe?r=1uokmo&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Coercive control is all about a perpetrator trying to cut somebody down from a full human being to a broken shell, and the purpose of this particular post is to explain why, in the case of mothers, their sense of themselves as a good mother is at the top of the perpetrator's list of things to try to destroy.

This post will explain three things:

1. How perpetrators attack mothering and mother-child relationships on purpose

2. How one way they do this is by criticizing the mother as a "bad mother"

3. Why attacking a woman as a "bad mother" is particularly damaging, as it is attack on her identity

What this post gives you is an insight into how male perpetrators of coercive control exploit what it means to be a good mother. In this post, they describe the advantages they get from causing harm, in their own words. If you want to know what is going on inside the minds of perpetrators of abuse, then read this post for a full investigation.

08/16/2023

A MUST read!

'Take responsibility!' The socially acceptable way to victim blame women and girls...

It's not okay to victim blame - but it's more than okay to force women and girls to take responsibility for their r**e or sexual assault. This article examines recent evidence and possible reasons for why this is happening.

08/16/2023

I like messy people;
people who don't fit in a box or stay between the lines, but whose integrity is greater than any rule book and whose loyalty is stronger than blood.
~Jim Wern

06/24/2023

"Instead, try directing your curiosity towards our lived experience. Ask us what it's like living the way we do, what helps and what doesn't, and maybe tell us we're doing a good job of staying alive (we love that)": https://buff.ly/43twN4J

I'm regularly met with wildly presumptuous prescriptions from those entirely unqualified to be offering them.

06/01/2023

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH❣️❣️
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🌈💫
🌈 🥰

05/12/2023

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day 💜💜💜

Check out ’s website to see the full list of buildings and landmarks that are lighting in purple in your area for .

https://fibrocanada.ca/awareness/illumination-2023/

We would love to have more purple pictures of all of our sites so if you visit any of these sites please feel free to share a picture by emailing [email protected] If you want to take a selfie you can submit as part of the FACes of Fibromyalgia Campaign.

Consultez le site Web de pour voir la liste complète des bâtiments et des monuments qui s'illuminent en violet dans votre région pour la

https://fibrocanada.ca/fr/awareness/illumination-2023/

Nous aimerions avoir plus de photos violettes de tous nos sites, donc si vous visitez l'un de ces sites, n'hésitez pas à partager une photo en envoyant un courriel à [email protected] Si vous voulez prendre un selfie, vous pouvez le soumettre dans le cadre de la campagne Visages de la fibromyalgie

03/08/2023

Happy International Women’s Day❣️❣️👩🏻👩🏾‍🦰👧🏽👩‍🦱👵🏽👩🏽‍🦳👱‍♀️👱🏾‍♀️🧕👩🏿👑
・・・

02/22/2023

“Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you - with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.’
~Dr.Kristin Neff
🍃🌺🌸🌻🍃
💞🙏💞

01/31/2023

‘Gentle Words
Are A Tree
Of Life’
~Proverb 15:4

What words do you use to describe, express things?

Are they gentle words? Harsh words?

01/29/2023

People don’t like it when your authenticity is louder than their facade.

12/03/2022

Be good to you and may you practice the self-care YOU need❣️💝💞

Have a fabulous weekend❣️🙏💞

Let’s go! ☕️

12/03/2022

Lots of you have been messaging and commenting to ask my my views on forgiveness.

My views on this seem to divide people, but I’m no stranger to that so here goes:

Forgiveness and forgiving your perp or abuser (or someone who has harmed you) is an extremely personal process and has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

This is important because the pressure to forgive often comes from outside: our family, our friends, our religion, our communities, out therapists, our wider society…

Expecting or pressuring you to forgive is harmful in itself. You don’t have to forgive anyone for anything, it’s not required for you to be a good person or for you to move on.

Forgiveness has very strong ties to religion, and the belief that you must forgive others if you want to be forgiven yourself. In my opinion, this is not fair on anyone, and puts immense pressure on religious people to feel obliged to forgive in order to be a good person.

Anyone or anything that emotionally manipulates you into forgiving an abuser or someone who has done great harm to you by saying you must forgive them in order to be forgiven does not have your best interests at heart.

There is also the myth that you cannot move on from trauma or harm unless you are prepared to forgive, and I totally disagree with this. You can healthily and steadily work through your own experiences and trauma without ever having to forgive the other person. You could hold them accountable, and you could even be actively angry at them for the rest of your life and that might still be totally healthy and normal for you.

Sometimes, I notice that victims are told to forgive because it makes everyone else feel calmer and more relaxed if they would just ‘stop holding a grudge’ or ‘stop bringing it up’. This is particularly common in family abuse or trauma.

So my message on forgiveness is: if you truly actually want to, and feel you can forgive someone who has harmed you - then you do you. Other than that, it’s not essential for trauma processing and you never need to do it. That doesn’t make you a bad person or less evolved, or less healed.

And don’t push others into it, either.

09/10/2022

Repost: 💜✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿💜
I have something to tell you, and I hope this helps as many of you as possible.

The habits and coping mechanisms you developed when you were trying to survive will become problematic or be perceived as disordered when you are no longer in that same survival mode.

This is really important to understand so-called mental illnesses and disorders.

Often, adults and children are diagnosed with psychiatric disorders for displaying behaviours, feelings, thoughts, fears, anger or developed coping mechanisms that begin to look ‘out of place’.

Many of your coping mechanisms and trauma responses that you have today will have served a purpose for you when you were in danger or crisis.

It doesn’t mean they are all healthy or positive for you, but in order to address, understand or process them, first you have to explore why they developed, when they developed, and how they served you at the time.

08/21/2022

💕A Wish for the Week Ahead 💝

A wish for the week ahead ❤️ ~ Nanea

08/09/2022

🕊

Rest in power Dame ONJ, the voice of my youth, the one who gave us permission to not always be the “good” girl.

We will miss you.

XO, Dr. Jen

07/19/2022

Imagine how wonderful it would be if all work establishments took 30mins at the start of the day to check in with how every employee was actually feeling inside using non-judgement, active listening, compassionate care to truly tune in to their transparent/authentic inner vulnerabilities.

Some thoughts from Ann on the state of things...

It all feels like too much. Pandemics, heatwaves, mass shootings, war, people whose lives have been overturned and who don’t know how to cope. People like us.

It’s very tempting to try to numb the sorrow we feel, to try to shut down our compassion and empathy which hurts so much because the little we can do feels so small compared to the enormity of it.

I do not have answers.

But I do know this: Our ability to respond to tragedy with sorrow and compassion is precious. We would not want to shut down these understandable and fitting feelings.

Instead of trying not to feel, let’s talk to each other.

At my workplace we took thirty minutes to share our feelings. We felt better. There is an alchemy that happens when feelings are shared.

So I would say this: turn to a friend and say, “Can I talk to you about my feelings about what is going on? I’m not asking you to do something about them. In fact I’d rather you didn’t try. Let’s just talk.“

Having feelings is actually a way of processing what happens. Allowing our feelings to emerge and be felt helps us deal with events in a genuine way. It’s OK to cry… and to rage.

When we stop our feelings, nothing comes next except frozenness. But when we allow our feelings, and give them company, the next genuine steps can emerge.

07/12/2022

Applies to teens and toddlers!🥰

07/11/2022

SOME Symptoms Of Fibro..Not All, They Won't All Fit..
💜⚘️💜

07/08/2022

Most of us say things to ourselves we'd never say to our best friends. We'd never push them when they're hurting. We'd never minimize their pain. We've never tell them they should be over it by now. If you're grieving, be good to yourself. You need it.

Please be your own best friend. Be kind. Do not say things to yoursself that you would not say to others. You're grieving and you need your own compassion.

07/07/2022

Addiction is NOT a "mariager issue" !!!

Too often I hear well-intentioned advice from friends, family, and church leaders saying things to women in trauma such as, "love your husband more," "serve him more," or "date your husband and regain the spark." These comments to women who have endured emotional, physical, spiritual, financial, and sexual abuse are not only invalidating and unhelpful, but they are dangerous. They put women in a situation to be further abused and harmed.

07/06/2022

Comparing traumas or having someone say 'someone has it worse than you' only leads to invalidating/minimizing/dismissing & denying another's trauma.

Trauma-Informed Lesson 101: NEVER compare traumas! It only leads to harm to another.

07/01/2022

💖🫶💖

You are a gift ❤️

07/01/2022

🫶🫶🫶

06/17/2022

Parents’ Unpredictable Behavior May Impair Optimal Brain Circuit Formation - Neuroscience News https://ed.gr/d39iz

Unpredictable parental behavior and an unpredictable environment disrupt the optimal development of emotional brain circuits during a child's development, increasing the risk of mental health disorders and substance abuse later in life.