PsychologySalon

06/01/2023

I feel it so it MUST be true: The final entry (for now) on a series of videos on the cognitive distortions that restrict our lives. This time it's Emotional Reasoning - which is taking our current feelings as evidence of the validity of our thoughts. This is a form of backwards logic that much of pop psychology actually promotes (umm, "Do No Harm," anyone?). Designed for both clinicians and the public, this series can serve as an intro to some of the core concepts of cognitive therapy.

This is part of a series of videos on the cognitive distortions that lead us astray. This time: Emotional Reasoning, in which we use our fallible emotions as...

05/16/2023

Pop quiz: How do you change a temporary event into a permanent characteristic? A moment's behaviour into an essential element of the self? Through Labelling. 10th in a series of short videos on the cognitive distortions that impair our lives. Suitable for clinicians, their clients, and the general public.

This is part of a series of videos on the cognitive distortions that lead us astray. This time: Labelling in which we take a changeable event and turn it int...

04/18/2023

I have good news and bad news. The good news ... doesn't count. Don't give it the time of day. It's only the bad news that reveals the true nature of life, the universe, and everything. This week, the 8th in a series on the cognitive distortions that impair our lives - a series designed to be useful for anyone familiarizing themselves with the bleakening tendency of their own mind.

This is part of a series of videos on the cognitive distortions that lead us astray. This time: Disqualifying the Positive, in which we scorn any meaning tha...

01/24/2023

Second in a new series of brief videos on the cognitive distortions leading to unhelpful misperceptions of the real world. This time it's Overgeneralization: coming up with restrictive general rules based on insufficient data, which then are acted upon in a way that disconfirmation never really happens. Special guest appearance from our cavedwellers' mind. These videos are designed for clinicians and the public alike - and may be useful ways to educate clients.

This is part of a series of 11 videos on common cognitive distortions that lead us astray. This time: Overgeneralization, in which we create restrictive rule...

11/01/2022

Anhedonia is both a symptom of depression and a cause of behaviour that promotes more depression. As such, it's a primary driver of depressive spiralling. My posts on anhedonia have been commented on more than any other, so I've taken time to respond to many of the questions that have been asked. Here's the first of 3 videos in the series.

Anhedonia is a standard symptom of depression. In previous posts I have reviewed the nature of anhedonia and a series of strategies designed to cope with and...

10/19/2022

Where do anger and aggression come from? Usually not the situation we are facing, but a story we make up about the origin and intentions behind the situation. Usually we find that the story is mistaken, exaggerated, or distorted - if we bother to check its veracity. In therapy, much of the work involves discovering the story we are telling ourselves just outside awareness.

This video is part of a series based on The Assertiveness Workbook. Why do we get angry about small things? It's tempting to think we are reacting to situati...

10/04/2022

How do you (or your clients) say no to an unreasonable request? One strategy is the Broken Record technique. If you refuse a different way each time the same request is made, the asker will know that sooner or later you'll run out of excuses - and they'll keep asking. Here's how to avoid that.

How do you say NO? One strategy is called the Broken Record Technique, and it's based on the idea of resisting the temptation to alter your refusal each time...

09/21/2022

Our culture promotes the idea of self-expression, which many people equate with assertiveness. The two are not the same thing, however, and are often incompatible. Sometimes in order to be assertive, we have to inhibit self-expression. Here's why. A post to mark the publication of the new edition of The Assertiveness Workbook. https://youtu.be/UAYXnt3QsXw

People often mistake assertive communication with self-expression. But what's the difference? Understanding the distinction is central to becoming a more eff...

09/13/2022

The 2nd Edition of The Assertiveness Workbook is now available from bookstores and online booksellers. The first edition garnered 757 reviews and an overall 4.6/5 rating. And I think this one is better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yN_z6rZAyo

Now available: https://bit.ly/the-assertiveness-workbookStand up and be heard! With more than 100,000 copies sold, this fully revised and updated self-help c...

09/06/2022

Assertiveness is a complicated subject. There are dozens of skills involved. But all of them proceed from a single key idea. In the new edition of The Assertiveness Workbook I have made this concept front and centre. Once you've got it, you've got it. https://youtu.be/TVR7xyQ-CKo

Assertive communication can involve dozens of different techniques - but what is the core principle underlying the whole thing? In this video I discuss the k...

09/01/2022

The Assertiveness Workbook, 2nd Edition is now out! Fully revised, expanded, and updated, with a brand new cover. September 1 2022 release date - orderable from Amazon and purchasable from all major bookstores. https://www.amazon.ca/Assertiveness-Workbook-Express-Yourself-Relationships/dp/1648480276/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2KCVJCRVSGMSG&keywords=the+assertiveness+workbook&qid=1662061041&sprefix=the+assertive%2Caps%2C301&sr=8-4

The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships

08/23/2022

At last, at last, at long last. The Assertiveness Workbook has been revised and updated and is finally available. To mark the publication of the second edition, I thought I'd tell the story of how the original book came into being, with an improbable meeting at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association. Plus a bit about the new edition, which I hope people will enjoy and find useful - clinicians and the general public alike. https://youtu.be/YvV7ol6zypU

Over 20 years ago I published The Assertiveness Workbook, which has gone on to become a standard book in the field. In 2022 I am finally bringing out the Sec...

05/17/2022

Depression slows you down. Stuff piles up. It's natural to think that recovery will mean getting caught up - but what if that expectation simply imposes another burden that perpetuates the depression? This video discusses a common trap for those trying to emerge from depressive episodes - and a way to do things instead. https://youtu.be/jpE68hHRTcg

05/11/2022

"Once you get older, you'll have things figured out." Nice idea, but clearly false. This is the third of three posts on the Three A's of Adulthood (Anxiety, Ambivalence, and Ambiguity), each discussing how the mission of maturity is how to accommodate all three, not conquer them. This time: the uncertainty of real life.
https://youtu.be/GDDtSLGmFj0

This is the third of three posts on three inevitable aspects of mature adulthood: Anxiety, Ambivalence, and Ambiguity. While I reference the work of famed Ju...

04/19/2022

The 2nd of 3 posts on the Three A’s of Adulthood. This time: Ambivalence. Overcoming the myth of whole-heartedness and welcoming the complexity of emotional life.
https://youtu.be/44t5MneDNm8

This is the second of three posts on three inevitable aspects of mature adulthood: Anxiety, Ambivalence, and Ambiguity. While I reference the work of famed J...

04/06/2022

For decades, western mental health has promoted the idea of anxiety as disorder - something indicative of pathology needing to be conquered, rather than a normal part of psychological life. In this, the first of three posts on James Hollis’s “3 A’s of Adulthood,” the accommodation to anxiety is discussed as a central task of maturity. The 3 A's of Adulthood: Anxiety
https://youtu.be/d2727LOeHqw

This is the first of three posts on three inevitable aspects of mature adulthood: Anxiety, Ambivalence, and Ambiguity. While I reference the work of famed Ju...

03/23/2022

It's tempting to use a scientific approach in the management of depression: Change one thing while keeping everything else constant. If that doesn't work, change something else. That way you'll know what helped. Problem: One thing probably isn't enough. To hit depression hard, we usually have to change several elements of life at once. https://youtu.be/7h4xaX33R6o

It's tempting to approach depression from a strictly scientific standpoint, and change one thing while keeping everything else constant. But it's very possib...

03/09/2022

Despite a world of entertainment that's more easily accessed than ever, enormous numbers of people find they are overcome by boredom. But what if boredom isn't the real problem? What if it's an imbalance between receptive and expressive activity? What if it's your life calling out for you to join in?
https://youtu.be/YG97oJPiQgE

Boredom is a frequent complaint amongst certain populations - the NEET or "failure to launch" group among them. But the solutions typically offered by peers ...

02/17/2022

NEW ONLINE COURSE: This one is for parents of young adults struggling at the transition between dependent adolescence and independent adulthood. How do you help without enabling, and encourage without abandoning? How do you taper parenting when your child is no longer a child? https://youtu.be/CP7tvd4mYEo

This course can be found at psychologysalon.teachable.com. I'm the author of books on assertiveness and private practice, in addition to the "How to be Miser...

02/03/2022

How do we treat agoraphobia? In recent videos I've discussed both panic and agoraphobia, and in the last post I gave a sketch of the clinical management of panic attacks. This video provides a quick overview of the CBT-based treatment of agoraphobia. A good intro to the subject for clients, perhaps appropriate for homework viewing before getting to work on the problem? https://youtu.be/K-YuLdfvmuE

Agoraphobia is the fear and avoidance of situations in which escape might be difficult, or an unpleasant or feared bodily event (such as a panic attack) migh...

01/17/2022

Panic attacks are sudden, sharp elevations of the body's stress response that produce a wide variety of symptoms. These symptoms become frightening in themselves, producing strong attempts to avoid or prevent future attacks. In earlier posts I've talked about the nature of panic attacks and panic disorder. But how are panic attacks treated? A brief intro for professionals and the public alike. https://youtu.be/_l_0WbVyBZ8

In previous posts I've discussed the symptoms of panic and the way a single panic attack can lead to panic disorder. In this post I discuss the treatment of ...

12/29/2021

The last post at PsychologySalon reviewed the symptoms of panic attacks - but what is panic disorder? How does it appear and progress? https://youtu.be/hcX0xm-YwcE

In an earlier post I reviewed the symptoms associated with panic attacks. But what's the difference between panic and panic disorder? In this video I discuss...

12/14/2021

We hear about panic attacks all the time, but what exactly ARE they? Here are the core symptoms and how they come about. First of a series on panic and agoraphobia in the newly-relaunched PsychologySalon YouTube channel! https://youtu.be/sdJymVeO7TU

In this start to a new series on panic and agoraphobia, we consider the central question of the nature of panic.I'm the author of books on assertiveness and ...

11/17/2021

If self-care is so vital to our well-being, why didn't we ever talk about it 30 years ago? You know, back before we thought we were in a mental health crisis? Yoga, Buddha statues, aromatherapy, positive affirmations, va**na candles.... What if feeling better isn't all about how well we take care of ourselves, or how full we stuff the piggy bank of wellness? What if it's more about how we spend the bank? A rant. https://youtu.be/EzA_4hHXSew

We live in a culture of self-care. Every day you are exhorted to spend more time performing routine maintenance on your mental health. Maybe if you attend en...

11/09/2021

I'm often struck and overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks I have to complete. From childhood, I've carried with me a perspective that these chores are detractions from my real life. This is a perspective shared by many people who feel stuck in their lives - and by those who are reluctant to take on adult responsibilities or commit to a task. But maybe our chores ARE our life. A perspective on peace and existence. https://youtu.be/rGbf-sSat2k

It can be tempting to view the endless chores of adulthood as an impediment to existence - to doing the things you imagine you truly want to do. But perhaps ...

10/26/2021

BloodClencher: A Halloween Story. This video looks at the history of serotonin: its discovery, its name, and its role in psychopharmacology over the years. Stuff every clinician should know, including a bit on the monoamine hypothesis of depression. But, you know, not dead boring. https://youtu.be/zrA48bhjTec

This video tells the story of serotonin, first discovered by Vittorio Erspamer in 1934, and (independently) by a Cleveland team over a decade later - but in ...

10/19/2021

When people say "I can't get motivated!" they usually mean that they can't find their INTRINSIC motivation - to look for work, to take a course, to study, to contribute at home. But despite what inspirational media tell us, that's not why people do most of the things in their lives. Most motivation is ADAPTIVE to the circumstances around us - we need a job to pay the rent; we need to contribute so others will also do so; we need to cook so we can eat. This video discusses the difference, confronts the idea that we will "find our motivation," and encourages the embrace of adaptive motivation as a normal driver of our behaviour. https://youtu.be/sPx1Rm0LDKs

Find your passion! Stoke up that fire in your belly! Our culture emphasizes the intrinsic model of motivation that comes from within and drives us forward in...

10/13/2021

Today's post is an up-to-the-minute discussion of the latest... Oh, wait. No. It's old stuff. Really old. But still relevant. It's: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Given that our needs form our motivations, and our motivations explain just about everything we do, it remains an important topic. https://youtu.be/xk-Qa_fqYbs

Abraham Maslow is known for his prominence in psychology's human potential movement - and in particular for his hierarchy of needs. In this video we look at ...

09/28/2021

Normally my YouTube channel How to be Miserable is concerned with psychology, mood, and mental health policy. This week I took a break from all that to post the traditional What I Did On My Summer Holidays video. This one involves helicopters, bears, and a whole lot of fire. https://youtu.be/wQtrCNTO-Ng

Some years I visit the Rockies. Some years I visit Vancouver Island. This year climate change came to visit me. This past summer was an eventful one at Miser...

09/21/2021

When is inspiration DE-inspiring? We sow the seeds of discontent when our culture promotes mythical visions of flawless relationships, steady jump-out-of-bed enthusiasm for our careers, or intrinsic don't-hafta-but-always-wanta motivation. This is one of the ways that the wellness industry, the mental health system, and inspirational talks can contribute more to human misery than human happiness. Plus, cheesy science fiction makes a good metaphor. https://youtu.be/fitMcU5hND8

Via a reference to cheesy 1970s science fiction, this post explores the unrealistic ideas about life, relationships, creativity, and work promoted by social ...