20/10/2026
I’ve been reminded lately of one of my defence mechanisms.
When life gets difficult, my natural instinct is to get busy.
Like, I must figure out what’s next. Find something to work towards and turn my attention to what I can create, build or achieve…
To what I can control.
Because life has shown me, time and time again, that anything can happen at any time.
I’ve been blindsided by life more times than I care to count.
This isn’t my first rodeo.
And now here I am, navigating another chapter of unexpected change.
Even though I’ve spent many years healing and doing the work, that default pattern has activated itself… yet again.
Ahhhh, life is lifing. Quick, take control!
See, what I’ve learnt is that any control you think you have is an illusion anyway.
When life is ready to bitch-slap you, it will. And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it, including trying to control all the little details of your day to day life.
I’ve also learnt that when the resistance to sitting in stillness grows stronger, it can be an invitation to slow down and create space.
Sometimes staying busy feels easier than sitting with the pain and not knowing what comes next.
But now, I can notice that familiar resistance to being still. When I’m trying to jump into my next chapter before I’ve had the space to process and integrate what’s just ended.
And even with that awareness, it doesn’t make the feelings any easier.
But it does give me a choice…
Do I push through, knowing what I really need to do is breathe, sit with what I’m feeling and process what’s happened?
Or do I act with intention, rather than following that immediate urge to do something?
Because sometimes, the very thing we’re trying to push away is THE thing that needs to be witnessed.
To be felt. To be acknowledged. And yes, sometimes that hurts.
But it can help us release the energy we’re holding and move into our next chapter with a little more ease.