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StubbornLeigh

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StubbornLeigh

One woman's attempt to navigate chronic health conditions, mental health issues, fitness, family, etc

29/10/2026

I've just seen this and I am almost irrationally annoyed at how helpful this approach may potentially be but I am going to give it a shot.

The fleshsuit has been in a constant state of revolt of some variety for a while and the pudding in my brain is fighting with the stubbornness which resides deep in my core when it comes down to making the wise and sensible choices 🙄 This time of year aggravates some health stuff which doesnt help either. The urge to hibernate is strong but it is battling the urge to do all of the things and not give in to the hibernation. Which ends up with me pretty much at a standstill, neither resting or getting anything done and getting increasingly frustrated about the whole damn thing. Maybe this mindset will break that deadlock?

If this is the life hack I need to trick my brain and body into cooperation, fab. I'm not saying it's gonna make me better but it might stop me getting worse and I will take that right now 🙂

StubbornLeigh

26/07/2026

Delayed PEM/PENE is the symptom I find most frustrating. I knew doing stuff wednesday would wipe for the rest of the day. But I have just done a thing so it makes sense and is worth it. Sleeping through today as well is just kind of annoying tbh (18 hours in bed, asleep for 16 and could have easily gone back to sleep but forced myself up for a bit for food and meds and will probably be asleep again soon after planning my week). Doesnt make my exertion midweek any less worth doing but it is irritating as it doesnt catch me with the delayed fatigue every time. Seriously though, why cant it just be one or the other? ME is ridiculous!

21/07/2026

Fairly accurate tbf. My body is acting up and my brain is staging a mass protest about it all. But I am dealing with what I can as best I can and being as proactive as I can with the things I can control.

Thankfully I have some wonderful friends who understand I may go radio silent if in a crash and dont take it personally. Alternatively if I am bedbound and bored, aren't outwardly annoyed by the numerous texts about nothing sent between naps just so I can engage with the world in some way.

Have spent some time today marking out rest days in my calendar in a pink glittery pen so I cant ignore them and then I have a better chance of doing what i can/want to do on the other days

27/06/2026

They told me to pick a card without reading it. That was the first issue because I then wanted to read them all!!

I fought that instinct and picked one at random. Yeah, I dont do this and yeah, i really need to do it more. Ok, point made universe

Off to have a float and see if it helps healing. Tbf i am just looking forward to restorative sleep again. If you want something from me, the next few days is probably your best chance tbh

And I now have a different style magnet to ignore (i have good intentions and it might remind me, stranger things have happened)

#

03/06/2026

This is relatable and such a tricky balance.

I want to be honest with people, particularly if it might help someone else.

But I also dont want to be complaining all the time.
And I dont want everyone knowing all the details of everything. Tbh I don't want to know all the details most of the time, particularly due to the current lack of medical support in my area which doesn't bode well for long term if I have to continue self managing with varying degrees of success as nobody knows what to do with me 🤷🏻‍♀️

People don't see me on the bad days and social media is a highlight reel rather than reality so someone who doesnt know me well could absolutely look at my normal feed and make unkind judgements and I dont want that but also dont have the bandwidth to defend myself. I just have to remind myself they dont see the before and after of me doing certain things. The fact I am held together and semi functioning due to lots of meds, supplements, naps, assorted other tricks and a huge amount of stubbornness isn't immediately obvious but I have to trust the people close to me aren't judging.

Also, never take on board someones opinion if you wouldnt take their advice!

16/05/2026

I have felt like this and still do on occasions but I am coming to terms with the fact that keeping the flesh suit sort of ticking along is pretty much a full time job and if it bothers other people, I really just have to let it be their problem and not mine.
Waste of my valuable energy to stress about it

12/05/2026

Same! And I always discount the effect emotional exertion and stress has until it floors me. You would think I would know better by now 🤦🏻‍♀️

Slept most of the day and am currently lying in the dark with a heatpad on my arm and an icepack on my head feeling a bit sorry for myself and hoping it is a one day version because I have appointments tomorrow.

11/05/2026

This week (11th-17th May) is ME Awareness Week, a chance to raise awareness of the debilitating, multi-system condition Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (encephalopathy) also known to as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS).

ME/CFS is a complex is a multi-system disease involving the brain, muscle, immune and neuroendocrine (hormone) systems and it affects over 400,000 people in the UK today, yet it is often misunderstood.
ME Awareness Week is vital in raising the profile of this disease, and a key part of the ME Association's objectives, as we work tirelessly to change attitudes in the hope this will improve the lives of the people with ME/CFS.

We encourage all those who are able, to use this week as an opportunity to share our posts with your colleagues, friends, and family - whether in-person or online - so the community they know that they are not alone.

10/05/2026

Chronic illness is rubbish.
Normal illness on top is rubbish.
Your body making decisions for you is rubbish.
Other people making decisions for you or that affect you based on any of the above, no matter how reasonable and rational they are, yep you've guessed it - still rubbish.

Usually my feelings about it all are neatly in a box. I will talk about thing but manage to be sufficiently disconnected that it doesnt feel I am talking about me so dont have to deal with the emotional side (I've never been great with processing emotions healthily) but today they bubbled over and I had to feel feelings about a bunch of different things I had been avoiding (ngl, very muxh not my favourite thing to do). I am now mainly tea and biscuits because that felt like the appropriate way to process. Therapy is probably healthier and a better approach longterm but biscuits are cheaper!

Fingers crossed that tomorrow is a good day and letting all the emotions do their thing leaves me feeling lighter rather than triggering a flare because if it triggers a flare, I may cry and I refuse to cry two days in a row.

04/05/2026

Finally getting round to listening to audiobook and make my own decision on it as I am currently sofabound and a little groggy so audiobooks are the way to go.

She has just shared an adage that stuck with her "If you listen your body when it whispers, you wont have to hear it scream" and my stubborn chronically ill post-surgery self definitely needed that reminder today!!

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