PFV Counselling

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PFV Counselling Hello, My name is Paula Fox-Valsler and I am an Outdoor Holistic Counsellor and Empowerment Coach.

Monday MusingsPFV Counselling
19/10/2026

Monday Musings

PFV Counselling

In a world that often demands we hide our wounds or rush our healing, holistic counselling offers a gentle alternative.I...
15/10/2026

In a world that often demands we hide our wounds or rush our healing, holistic counselling offers a gentle alternative.

It provides a safe, grounded space to look at the parts of your story that feel broken and find the warmth and self compassion needed to begin moving forward.

Your past is part of your landscape, but it doesn't have to define your horizon.

Let's explore what paths are open to you today.

PFV Counselling

01/10/2026

🕯️ Ancestral trauma & the patterns we inherit

October begins and with it the turn of the celtic wheel.
Samhain (all hallows eve/Halloween) is fast approaching..

Samhain is traditionally associated with endings, remembrance and the threshold between what has been and what is yet to come.

For many, it is also a time to reflect on ancestors and the stories carried through generations.

From a therapeutic perspective, this raises an important question:

🕯️ What happens to us when fear becomes something we inherit?

Trauma doesn't always arrive in our lives as one identifiable event. Sometimes it appears as a family pattern.

A fear of speaking out.
A tendency to people please.
Difficulty trusting others.
Hypervigilance.
Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions.
A belief that safety comes from staying quiet, useful or invisible.

These patterns can make sense when we understand them as adaptations.

At some point, they may have helped someone survive.

But a coping strategy that protected one generation can sometimes become restrictive for the next.

This is one way we can begin to think about intergenerational trauma. Not as something mystical that we are destined to carry, but as the possible transmission of experiences, beliefs, behaviours and relational patterns through families and communities.

Therapeutic work can create space to ask:

🌱 What am I carrying?
🌱 Where might I have learned this response?
🌱 Does this pattern still protect me, or is it limiting me now?
🌱 What belongs to my story, and what may have been passed down?
🌱 What would safety look like for me today?

Healing doesn't require us to blame previous generations.

Often, they were doing the best they could with the resources, knowledge and circumstances available to them.

We can hold compassion for where our patterns came from and still choose to change them.

Perhaps that is one of the most powerful forms of ancestral healing:

Not erasing the past.
Not romanticising it.

But becoming conscious of what we have inherited and deciding what we want to carry forward.

This October, perhaps we can honour the past while gently returning what no longer belongs to us.

PFV Counselling

22/09/2026

I don't know about you, but as much as I love the autumn colours and crisp, cold air. I always struggle with letting go of summer and often feel a dip in my mood and energy levels heading into autumn.

Yesterday marked the Autumn Equinox, a powerful moment in the calendar where day and night are of exactly equal length. It is a natural point of perfect balance, but it also signals a major transition as we begin to tip into shorter days and longer nights.

In therapy, we often look to the seasons as mirrors for our own internal worlds. Transitioning into autumn can bring up a mix of emotions, and that is entirely normal.

Here are three gentle reflections to hold space for today:

🍂 Balance isn’t a permanent state. The equinox lasts for just a moment, reminding us that balance isn’t about staying perfectly still forever. It is an ongoing process of adjusting, tilting, and responding to the changes around us.

🍂 Letting go can be an act of preservation. Just as the trees naturally shed what they no longer need to survive the winter, we can look at what burdens, expectations, or old habits we might need to release to protect our own energy and mental health.

🍂 Rest is a necessity, not a reward. As the natural world slows down, you might notice your own energy dipping. Honor your body’s need for quiet, warmth, and slower paces.

If this shift in the season leaves you feeling unbalanced, anxious, or overwhelmed, please know you don't have to navigate the transition alone.

Journal Prompt for Today:

What am I holding onto right now that is draining my energy, and what is one small thing I can do to invite more rest into my week?

👇 Let me know your thoughts in the comments, or simply leave a 🍂 if you are practicing letting go today.

If you are looking for professional support, my practice has a few open spaces this season. Feel free to send me a direct message to book an initial consultation.

PFV Counselling

17/09/2026

Are you a people pleaser?

Saying yes when you really mean no.
Worrying about disappointing others.
Putting everyone else’s needs before your own.
Feeling guilty when you set a boundary.

People pleasing can sometimes feel like keeping the peace, but over time it can leave you feeling exhausted, resentful, or disconnected from what you actually need.

You’re allowed to have boundaries.
You’re allowed to say no.
And you don’t have to earn love or approval by making everyone else happy.

Counselling can be a space to explore where people pleasing comes from and begin building healthier, more authentic relationships, including the one you have with yourself.

PFV Counselling

15/09/2026

🍂 Autumn reminds us that letting go is part of life.

As the leaves begin to change and fall, nature shows us that we don’t have to hold on to everything forever.

Sometimes, we too need to let go...of old expectations, relationships that no longer serve us, past mistakes, unhelpful beliefs, or the pressure to be who we once were.

Letting go doesn’t mean that something wasn’t important. It means recognising when its season has passed and allowing yourself to make space for what comes next.

Perhaps this autumn, ask yourself:
🍁 What am I holding onto that I’m ready to release?
And remember, you don’t have to let go all at once. Healing can begin with simply acknowledging what you’re ready to put down. 🍁

PFV Counselling

14/09/2026

Monday Musings...

What would you do differently if you weren’t afraid of disappointing people?

It’s a question I’ve been sitting with.

How many times have you said yes when you really meant no?

Stayed quiet to keep the peace?

Chosen what was expected of you rather than what you actually wanted?

Put your own needs, dreams or boundaries second because you were worried about how someone else might feel?

The truth is, disappointing people isn’t always a sign that you’ve done something wrong.

Sometimes it’s a sign that you’ve stopped abandoning yourself to keep everyone else comfortable.

You can love people and still choose differently.

You can care deeply and still set boundaries.

You can say no without writing an essay to justify it.

And you can make choices that others don’t understand without making them the wrong choices for you.

So this Monday, ask yourself:

If I knew nobody would be disappointed in me, what would I do differently?

Maybe the answer is worth listening to. ❤️

PFV Counselling

As I sit looking at my overgrown garden full of weeds, it got me thinking about the similarities to how our minds can so...
03/09/2026

As I sit looking at my overgrown garden full of weeds, it got me thinking about the similarities to how our minds can sometimes feel like an overgrown garden too.

Tangled thoughts, difficult emotions, old beliefs and worries competing for space.

We might sometimes wish we could pull out the weeds in our head, but healing isn’t always about getting rid of every difficult thought or feeling. Sometimes it’s about understanding what’s growing, creating space, and gently nurturing what helps us thrive.

🌱 What would you like to make more room for in your life?

PFV Counselling

12/08/2026

Therapy isn’t just for fixing what’s broken. It’s about understanding yourself, breaking old patterns, building healthier relationships, and navigating life with a little more clarity.

Because you don’t have to wait for a crisis to ask for support.

PFV Counselling

10/08/2026

Monday Musings or for today, Monday Menopause Musings.

Did you know that for females, su***de rates are highest during midlife. Specifically peaking among women aged 45 - 54, often linked to hormonal changes.

Also around this age, women tend to have huge career changes opting for jobs that offer a slower paced life. They leave jobs and relationships that no longer serves them.

Divorce rates increase throughout these years too. And whilst not directly linked to menopause, you can't deny the facts and figures.

To put this in perspective, approximately 3 million women in the UK are experiencing menopause at any given time. That's a substantial portion of our population navigating not just the physical symptoms, but the emotional and mental challenges too.

These changes in women, whilst sometimes might be comical and slightly bonkers, can also be hugely dibilitating affecting their sleep and cognitive processing.

Don't underestimate the value of talking and sharing your experiences women.

This transition requires you to lean in to others and seek out support where necessary.

You're not on your own.

PFV Counselling

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