The Float Retreat

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The Float Retreat Floatation therapy in Hertfordshire/Essex.

NORMALISE BORING WEEKENDS. ❤️No big plans.No packed diary.No pressure to “make the most of it”.A walk.Something nice to ...
27/09/2026

NORMALISE BORING WEEKENDS. ❤️

No big plans.

No packed diary.

No pressure to “make the most of it”.

A walk.

Something nice to eat.

Clean pyjamas.

A film you’ve already watched 14 times.

Bed early.

Perfect.

Not every weekend needs to become a story.

Sometimes boring is bloody lovely. 😂

60 MINUTES OR 90? 👀Sometimes an hour sounds perfect.Sometimes…You want MORE.Our standard float gives you a full 60 minut...
26/09/2026

60 MINUTES OR 90? 👀

Sometimes an hour sounds perfect.

Sometimes…

You want MORE.

Our standard float gives you a full 60 minutes in the pod.

But if you’re already thinking:

“There’s absolutely no chance I’m getting out after an hour…”

Meet our 90 Minute Float. 💙

An extra half hour with nowhere to be, nothing to answer and nothing required from you.

✨ 60-minute float — £60
✨ 90-minute float — £90

Which are you choosing?

👉 https://thefloatretreat.floathelm.com/booking

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL AFTER 8PM…We’ll start:❌ Work emails❌ “Can I ask you a quick favour?”❌ Unknown numbers call...
24/09/2026

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL AFTER 8PM…

We’ll start:

❌ Work emails

❌ “Can I ask you a quick favour?”

❌ Unknown numbers calling

❌ Group chats with 47 unread messages

❌ Someone asking “what are we having for dinner tomorrow?”

😂

Your turn.

👇 What are you banning after 8pm?

WHO NEEDS A FLOAT? #4 — THE ONE WHO’S “FINE” 🙃“How are you?”“Fine!”Meanwhile…Your eye is twitching.You’ve lost your key...
22/09/2026

WHO NEEDS A FLOAT? #4 — THE ONE WHO’S “FINE” 🙃

“How are you?”

“Fine!”

Meanwhile…

Your eye is twitching.

You’ve lost your keys twice.

You’ve forgotten why you walked upstairs.

And one more email saying “just circling back” might finish you off completely. 😂

Sometimes overwhelm doesn’t look dramatic.

Sometimes you carry on doing absolutely everything…

You’re just doing it with a much shorter fuse.

If that sounds familiar, perhaps “fine” could do with an hour off. 💙

SUNDAY CONFESSION TIME 👀What’s something you’ve reached an age where you simply cannot be bothered pretending to enjoy a...
20/09/2026

SUNDAY CONFESSION TIME 👀

What’s something you’ve reached an age where you simply cannot be bothered pretending to enjoy anymore?

Nightclubs?

High heels?

Camping?

Staying out past midnight?

People turning up at your house unannounced? 😂

👇 We want answers.

This feels like a safe space.

YOUR GROUP CHAT FINALLY MADE IT OUT OF THE GROUP CHAT. 😂You know the conversation…“We NEED to arrange something.”“Defini...
17/09/2026

YOUR GROUP CHAT FINALLY MADE IT OUT OF THE GROUP CHAT. 😂

You know the conversation…

“We NEED to arrange something.”

“Definitely!”

“What dates can everyone do?”

Silence for six weeks.

😂

Here’s your suggestion:

Float with 2 Friends — £160

Three of you.

Three simultaneous 60-minute floats.

Three individual rooms with private showers.

Then you can actually catch up afterwards.

👇 Send this to the group chat.

It’s time.

WOULD YOU RATHER…For the next MONTH:📱 No social media after 6pmOR☕ No caffeine after middayYou HAVE to choose one.And “I...
15/09/2026

WOULD YOU RATHER…

For the next MONTH:

📱 No social media after 6pm

OR

☕ No caffeine after midday

You HAVE to choose one.

And “I’d rather suffer” isn’t an option. 😂

👇 Which are you giving up?

WHO NEEDS A FLOAT? #3 — THE RUNNER 🏃Your watch:RECOVERY DAYYou:“Okay…but what about a gentle 10k?”👀😂Runners, we’re look...
14/09/2026

WHO NEEDS A FLOAT? #3 — THE RUNNER 🏃

Your watch:

RECOVERY DAY

You:

“Okay…but what about a gentle 10k?”

👀😂

Runners, we’re looking at you.

Training isn’t only about the miles you put in.

Recovery matters too.

Floating gives tired muscles an hour supported in warm salt water without another workout, another stretch routine or another target to hit.

You literally have to do…

Nothing.

Possibly the hardest exercise of all. 😂

Tag the runner who is TERRIBLE at rest days. 👇

A LITTLE SUNDAY REMINDER ❤️Take the photo.Wear the outfit.Book the trip.Use the nice glasses.Light the expensive candle....
13/09/2026

A LITTLE SUNDAY REMINDER ❤️

Take the photo.

Wear the outfit.

Book the trip.

Use the nice glasses.

Light the expensive candle.

Stop keeping things “for best”.

This is best.

That’s it.

That’s today’s post. 🌿

DATE NIGHT WITHOUT THE SMALL TALK. 😂No restaurant reservation.No shouting at each other over loud music.No staring at yo...
12/09/2026

DATE NIGHT WITHOUT THE SMALL TALK. 😂

No restaurant reservation.

No shouting at each other over loud music.

No staring at your phones while pretending you’re not staring at your phones.

Just…

Two people.

One pod.

One whole hour.

Our Couples Float is £99 and lets you experience your 60-minute float together in the same pod.

Different date night?

We think so. 💙

👉 https://thefloatretreat.floathelm.com/booking

Address

13c Church End Estate
Little Hadham
SG112DY

Telephone

+441279598593

Website

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