hilda.hca

24/09/2026

23/09/2026

Today is my cousin’s birthday. I sent him a birthday message last night, but somehow, one message didn’t feel like enough. 🤍

He was once my youth group leader, and looking back now, I realise how much of what I learned before the age of 16 came through him.

He read Tolstoy, Dostoyevsky, Balzac, Milan Kundera, Carl Jung, and so many of the great classics.

He taught us that life is not only about ourselves, but also about others: what we can give, how we can serve, and how we can leave something meaningful behind.

So many years later, I still think of him as one of the wisest people I know.

Remembering those early years fills my heart with warmth.

Somewhere in those years, we all began to long for a meaningful contribution. We understood that our lives had to mean something beyond ourselves, and that our souls were asking us to become different.

There is a saying: your calling will choose you. Perhaps even then, our values were quietly taking shape.

Maybe that is why my work has never felt like something I decided to do. It feels like something that has been growing within me for a very long time.

The values I learned as a child, compassion, service, dignity, kindness, responsibility, and seeing the person beyond their circumstances are the same values I carry into the work I do today.

Maybe the seeds were planted all those years ago.

And perhaps, all these years later, I’m simply watching them bloom.🌱

Remembering those early years brings back such lovely memories. They were deeply formative, and I feel so much gratitude for the people who helped shape us before we even understood what they were giving us.

Happy birthday to my cousin, who helped plant some very important seeds in my life. X

19/09/2026

Sometimes grief doesn’t look like crying.

It can look like feeling numb.
Like being unusually irritable, exhausted, disconnected or overwhelmed. It can show up as anxiety, anger, people pleasing, overthinking, withdrawing, or feeling like you’re “not yourself” anymore. And sometimes, we don’t even realise we’re grieving.

We tend to associate grief with death, but we can grieve so many things.
A relationship ending, a friendship, a change in family dynamics, moving from a family home, a dream that didn’t happen, a version of ourselves we had to leave behind, our health, our home, our sense of safety, or a future we thought we were going to have.

When grief isn’t given space to be felt, it doesn’t necessarily disappear. Sometimes it gets tucked away and carried quietly.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean “moving on” or pretending it didn’t hurt. It can mean gently allowing yourself to acknowledge: “That really affected me.”
“I lost something that mattered.”
“I’m allowed to feel this, even if it happened a long time ago.”

A few gentle places to start: name what you’ve lost, even if it feels insignificant to someone else.
Notice what emotions come up without judging them.
Give yourself permission to grieve at your own pace.
Talk to someone safe rather than carrying everything alone. Write down what you wish you could say, even if you never share it. Be patient with yourself when old feelings resurface.

There is no deadline for grief.

Sometimes what we need isn’t to “get over it” but to finally permit ourselves to feel what we couldn’t feel at the time.

And if something you thought you had dealt with suddenly surfaces again, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going backwards. It means you’re finally in a safe enough place to process it. 👑🇬🇧

Be gentle with yourself. X

Hilda's Care

19/09/2026

Could your family home play a role in supporting an ageing parent in the future?

For many people in their 30s, conversations about ageing parents, housing and home support can feel like something to think about later. But planning early can help families understand their options before circumstances change.

In the UK, families may explore different possibilities, including:
Supporting an older relative to remain at home.
Adapting a family home to improve accessibility and independence.
Living together or creating a suitable space within the family home.
Looking at home support or supported living options.
Considering care home options when appropriate.
Understanding how care costs, property and local authority financial assessments may interact.
Exploring relevant financial and care planning options, including deferred payment schemes where appropriate

There isn't one solution that works for every family. What matters is starting the conversation early and keeping the focus on the person, their needs, dignity, independence, choices and quality of life.

For younger generations, thinking ahead doesn't mean making decisions today. It means understanding the options, having open family conversations and getting appropriate Uk specific advice when the time comes.👑🇬🇧

A little planning today can make future conversations easier.

Hilda's Care

13/09/2026

Yesterday, I had a lovely chat with a parent named Betûl from north London. We don’t always stop to think about how important a name can become throughout our lives. Parents choose names with love, hopes and dreams. But a name is more than something written on a birth certificate; it becomes part of how a child introduces themselves, how others remember them, and sometimes even how they understand their own identity.

Take the beautiful name Betûl. Familiar to many people, with two different meanings if pronounced differently, yet carrying a deeper history. It reminded me that behind every name there is a person's story, a culture, a family and a meaning worth knowing.

So perhaps, before choosing a short name, it’s worth taking a little time to pause and ask: What story will they one day tell about their name? Because children grow into their names, and the thought, love and intention behind that choice can stay with them for a lifetime.

If your name starts with A, you're born to be a leader. Adam, Alex, Anna, Alison. You will always show your leadership skills naturally. You'd better start studying it and get experience already.

I believe supporting children means thinking about the whole child: their wellbeing, their identity, their confidence and their future.

Hilda's Care






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