Finding Yourself In Menopause

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Finding Yourself In Menopause Taking care of yourself at midlife and menopause, so you can move forward into this chapter with confidence, and without losing who you are

I help 40+ and 50+ women who have had enough of feeling stuck and lost, to get their life back from menopause, using science-backed holistic practices.

This morning I sent out an email all about HRT and dementia. Maybe you’re already on my email list and you’ve seen it al...
17/09/2026

This morning I sent out an email all about HRT and dementia. Maybe you’re already on my email list and you’ve seen it already?
If not, it’s the comments below - no sign up required.

16/09/2026

I spent a long time, years, looking for a certain book, or a podcast, an interview with someone who would show me how to do it.

I was looking for something really specific.

I didn’t want the rags to riches story. Or success in 6 figures. I wanted something more ‘realistic’ than that. Something I could relate to.

I wanted to know what it looks like to live without the oppression of comparison, without feeling a heavy mix of not enough and too much.

How to live without clenching my teeth and my shoulders, bracing for disappointment at not meeting the ‘standards’ I thought everyone else was meeting so easily.

How to go about my day without seeing myself as inferior, in a zillion different ways.

I looked for years for someone I could relate to. Someone I could model to get myself out of the hole I was in.
And I never ever found them.

Because I was so far in to my era of unhealthy relating, I couldn’t see myself in others.
I believed I was the only one who wasn’t meeting the highest of expectations.
Even when I really was doing okay.

Years passed. Eventually it dawned on me that I was searching for someone I’d never find. And I’d somehow have to become my own role model.

I’d never find that person because I struggled to relate to others. I thought I was the only one feeling inadequate, living in the shadows.
And believing I was inferior meant I didn’t have to try, or risk failure. And more comparisons.

It dawned on me that I would never find the person I was looking for to save me, because it had to me.
It could only be me.

I had to work out what it really looks like, to be living in ease, as yourself. Not someone else’s version of ‘success’ or ‘confidence’ but your own.

It took time. Years later, I still sometimes have to revisit this work.
And that’s ok because I know where to find her now.

💜

Last week it was my 47th birthday. In another 35, 40 yearsDon’t call me a ‘little old lady’Say I’m old, I definitely wil...
11/09/2026

Last week it was my 47th birthday.

In another 35, 40 years
Don’t call me a ‘little old lady’

Say I’m old, I definitely will be that.
And proud of it.

Call me strong, bold, robust,
kind and courageous.
A bit wild.
Sometimes defiant.

But not a little old lady.
I won’t be that.
Not if I can help it.
And I definitely can.

I’m already working on it.

When it comes down to it, most of my clients want the same thing. Whether I’m working with them to find direction and re...
27/08/2026

When it comes down to it, most of my clients want the same thing.

Whether I’m working with them to find direction and restore the relationship with themselves at midlife, or whether it’s a group sound bath to feel more attuned to self.

They’re all different people, I mean.. age range, gender, experiences, backgrounds, interests, concerns.

The one thing that unites them (probably without them knowing about it) is they are all highly capable people experiencing their own flavour of sustained internal strain, and uncertainty.

Whilst also longing for steadiness, relief, reconnection with themselves and a softer relationship with life.

I mean, they’re tired. Bone tired. Not just lack of sleep.

They’re coping and getting on with life.

But it’s at the expense of themselves, in a way they just weren’t prepared for.

Wanting to put ‘everything’ down to be able to focus on themselves again, but for multiple different reasons unable to.

Life is complicated and messy.

That’s one reason why I make what I do as simple as I can. Simple to gain from without having to spin yet another plate. Effective in its simplicity.

It’s at the root of all my work. Whether it’s midlife health we’re talking about and finding direction for.

Or a sound bath, where there’s less focus on what is said and more on what is felt.

Let me know if you can relate, with an emoji or a few words of encouragement - maybe for yourself or others reading this 🤗

Five things you're allowed to want* *midlife and menopause edition1.) A day filled with your favourite things2.) To take...
20/08/2026

Five things you're allowed to want*

*midlife and menopause edition

1.) A day filled with your favourite things

2.) To take up space without apologising for it

3.) Rest without having to 'earn' it

4.) Food that makes you happy

5.) Goals and dreams of your own

Anything you’d add?

I changed my mind a few years ago and it's okay if you didn't notice.I mean, the 'right' people noticed, and that was ex...
19/08/2026

I changed my mind a few years ago and it's okay if you didn't notice.

I mean, the 'right' people noticed, and that was exactly why I did it.

I stopped writing posts that were all about symptoms, 'nutrition for hormones', and quick tips on getting through menopause.

Because honestly, the work I was doing with clients was telling me a different story about what was really needed.

Not just green leafy veg, two litres of water and recommending the latest brand of vaginal lubricant - as transformational as those things can be. Us midlifers need a lot more than that if we're to make it through peri-menopause intact.

And that's the thing. Many of us feel like we're unravelling; the health and body rule book in the bin.
Not just physical stuff. It's the mental journey we go on alongside all that. Our very own odyssey, in a way.

It's wild and it starts way before you'd imagine.
By the time you recognise you're on the peri menopause path, chances are you've already been on it a good while.
Because none of it is JUST about hormones.

It all happens at the same time. Life and hormones. They interact with each other in a massive way.
That's why I get so itchy when I hear the crowds say 'just take HRT', because there's no 'just' when it comes to midlife.

About five years into my coaching practice I started to have these deeper conversations, about change. About what it means, for that woman, that person in front of me. And we talked more about her wants not just her needs.

The anger, the grief, fear, pride, the plans and promises. The need for stability, the craving for change. The internal questioning, feeling adrift, and the embracing of it all.

The seeking of something and then to find themselves - to find they are okay and living well, amongst all of that messiness.
That's what I flippin LOVE about my clients and my work with them.

I stopped making it all about food, or exercise, or supplements, or quick fixes, because although those things do help - my clients need more than that.

And it felt like a sigh of relief because, finally, I gave myself permission to open the door, to see the whole view instead of just peeping through the spy hole at just one teeny part of it.

Nervous system regulation…isn’t about ‘achieving’ a state of calm that suppresses all the s**t 💩 you’re carrying. It’s a...
17/08/2026

Nervous system regulation…
isn’t about ‘achieving’ a state of calm that suppresses all the s**t 💩 you’re carrying.

It’s a term that gets used a lot in my work, because midlife and menopause bring about changes that can affect how we might manage ourselves and our emotions and our overall capacity.

I see a lot of posts on here talking about the nervous system, much of it inaccurately, which could be both reckless and harmful.

Regulation isn’t meant to imply never feeling anxious or angry or sad or overwhelmed.
It’s feeling those things, responding to them and gradually finding your way back to yourself.

💜

I’ve had this shirt since I was 12 years old. I just can’t get rid of it now. Let’s be honest, it’s not really for the f...
17/08/2026

I’ve had this shirt since I was 12 years old. I just can’t get rid of it now.

Let’s be honest, it’s not really for the fashion statement 😆

In holding onto it, I carry myself as a quiet and unsure child, and as teenager, awkward and angry. Out the other side to my 20’s, full of hope and bravado.
And through my 30's, a time of searching and not quite finding.

Now, a few weeks from my 47th birthday, I’m more aware than ever of all these previous versions of me. We’re all still wearing the same shirt.

In all the years of moving around, packing and unpacking, sorting through piles of things to keep and give away, this shirt will always remain in my ‘to keep’, pile
(and only worn whilst camping 😆)

It’s important somehow.

To get rid of it now after all this time would feel like abandoning myself.
Casting her adrift.

I just can’t do that to her.

We all change, and find multiple versions of ourselves through the decades.

Growing and evolving - not so much because of age but because of time providing experiences, so that the relationship to ourselves deepens, expands.
And every version of me is carried within.

There was a time I held her out away from me.
Now I hold her close.

Do you have items of clothing that feel more than just fabric to you?

There's so much I should be doing. I just feel stressed and overwhelmed by it all. People talk about balance like it's t...
13/07/2026

There's so much I should be doing. I just feel stressed and overwhelmed by it all.

People talk about balance like it's the magic solution. But that can feel so out of reach when you're juggling work / children / ageing parents / your own self care.
And as lovely as they are, your own capacity is taking the hit.
That's before I get started on the low motivation.

If it feels like this for you, and you resent anyone suggesting you should 'just' find more time for yourself. Whilst at the same time longing to be able to slow down long enough to feel less weary.

Perhaps what you need is a way of untangling what's really going on, rather than launching yourself into a longer to-do list, or trying to force yourself to meditate on the sofa and feeling bad about it.


My one to one coaching isn't about trying harder at the things you feel you're failing at.
It's about taking a fresh approach to a long-standing problem.

You've been carrying a lot for a long time, the uncertainty of midlife and menopause have made it all more complicated and it's got really hard to see where you're going.

With my Whole Woman Wellness method, I help women to navigate midlife with practical and evidence-informed support.

We consider the whole picture (not just symptoms) and we dare to consider what you want this stage of life to look like.

Together we create a way forward that feels realistic and sustainable. Ultimately, it's about building the physical and mental capacity to live life in a way that feels more like your own again.

If you'd like to explore working together, send me a message and we'll have a chat.

I’m just back from meeting an interesting chap with a very bold and exciting plan in Edinburgh, that I may become part o...
08/07/2026

I’m just back from meeting an interesting chap with a very bold and exciting plan in Edinburgh, that I may become part of!

First though, what I really wanted to say was..
walking through the busy streets today, I caught a glance of myself in a shop window, as you do.

And do you know what I saw first?
My big wobbly thighs and my not so small wobbly tummy.

What happened next?

I smiled. At my own reflection.
And then made a conscious decision to get cross with all the warped attitudes and societal beliefs that have led me to notice these very normal things about my appearance, before noticing anything else.

No shame, no embarrassment, just me and my body walking along like a normal human who happens to have skin and fat and muscle on show, during a heatwave 🥵

No resolve to cut my calories or never wear shorts again. No hiding. Because it’s really no big deal.

I have a body. I am not changing it, in any way, to fit unattainable standards of ‘beauty’.

I accepted my body and all that it can do for me, many years ago.
How crazy that those very old stories run so deep that it almost caught me out today.

But nope. I win again.

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North Berwick
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