A Quintana

24/07/2026

🌺 One of the things I love most about NARM is how a single question can change everything.

Instead of asking, "What do you think about this?" we might ask, "How do you relate to this experience right now?"

It sounds like a small shift, but it changes the conversation completely.

As therapists, it's easy to become absorbed in the details of someone's story or focused on the changes they hope to make. Yet whenever we return to the question of how someone is relating to their experience in this moment, there is always something new to discover.

It's surprisingly difficult to get lost when curiosity is leading the way.

And perhaps that's why there are moments like this... when both therapist and client realise they've stumbled upon something important and can't help but smile.

One of the many privileges of this work is that the exploration is enriching for both of us.

Posted with my client's kind permission.

23/07/2026

Have you ever had the feeling of being slightly out of step?

Not completely disconnected or alone, but somehow never quite feeling as though you fully belong.

You may care deeply about the people around you, yet still find yourself holding something back, watching rather than fully joining in.

In NARM, this can be understood through what is called the Connection Survival Style.

Rather than seeing this as a personality trait or something to overcome, we understand it as an adaptation that may have developed very early in life, when our nervous system learned that connection didn't always feel safe or predictable.

Many people recognise this pattern in themselves. They describe feeling like an outsider, even within loving relationships, or noticing that closeness can feel both deeply wanted and strangely unfamiliar.

Over time, these ways of adapting can become so familiar that they simply feel like "who I am". Yet they often reflect something much older than our adult lives.

I explore the Connection Survival Style on my blog: how it develops, and why these early adaptations can continue to shape our relationships long into adulthood.

It may be a quieter experience that what we usually don't talk about, but no less significant.

30/06/2026

🪷 Have you ever wondered why you respond to certain situations in ways that seem difficult to change?

Many of us understand our patterns intellectually, yet still find ourselves repeating them. From a NARM (NeuroAffective Relational Model) perspective, these patterns are not signs that something is wrong with us. They are often deeply intelligent adaptations that our nervous system developed to help us survive early relational experiences.

I've just published a new article introducing the five NARM Survival Styles, a compassionate framework for understanding developmental trauma without reducing ourselves to labels or personality types.

This series is not about asking, "Which survival style am I?"

Instead, it invites a different question:

"Why did my nervous system organise itself in this way?"

Each article will explore one of the five developmental adaptations: Connection, Attunement, Trust, Autonomy, and Love–Sexuality, and the human capacity that can gradually be rediscovered as healing unfolds.

My hope is that these articles offer not only information but also a little more understanding, curiosity, and kindness towards ourselves.

If this resonates with you, I'd love to invite you to read the introduction and follow the series as it unfolds with a new article every week.

Read on blog: https://www.traumatherapyoxford.com/blog/narm-survival-styles

17/06/2026

🌷 For a long time, I didn’t think language would matter that much in therapy.

I could already reflect on myself in English quite easily, and much of my work in NARM therapy in English was deeply meaningful.

But something shifted when I began therapy in my native language.

It wasn’t about understanding more — it was about feeling more.

As if the work moved from my mind into my body, with less translation and more direct contact.

It has stayed with me in how I understand developmental and relational trauma, and how closely language is tied to early experiences of connection and belonging.

This is why I offer therapy in both English and Polish.

I’ve written more about this experience on my blog, if you’d like to read it.

I’m curious if you’ve ever noticed a difference in how something feels in different languages.

01/05/2026

🌸 And when the sun is calling we move our sessions outdoors! 🙏😍🌸

11/03/2026

🌷 People often ask me: 'What does ‘coming back to your body’ mean?'

Fair question.

Your body is an extraordinary early warning system.

Long before your brain has formed a sentence, your body has already scanned the room. It has read tone of voice, micro-expressions, posture, pace, proximity. It has compared this moment to every experience you’ve ever had.

Sometimes your body feels uneasy in a social situation before your mind can explain why:
- a tight stomach
- a bracing in the chest
- a sudden fatigue
- a slight pull to step back

That’s not weakness. That’s intelligence.

Your nervous system is constantly asking:
Am I safe?
Am I welcome?
Do I belong here?

When we override those signals, because we want to be polite, liked, or easygoing, we slowly disconnect from one of the most sophisticated guidance systems we have.

Coming back to your body means rebuilding trust with that system.

It simply means remembering that your body has been gathering data all along.

It’s the shift from living only in your thoughts to including sensations from your body.

For many of us who experienced stress or trauma, leaving the body was smart. Thinking, analysing, pushing through, that helped us survive.

Somatics isn’t about getting rid of that strength. It’s about adding another layer of awareness.

When you start listening, you might notice:
- your jaw tightening when someone crosses a boundary
- your shoulders lifting when you feel judged
- your breath softening when you feel safe
- a contraction when something doesn’t feel right

These sensations often show up before the cognitive mind asks 'Am I overreacting?'

Listening to your body can save you from entering situations that are harmful, uncomfortable, or simply not enjoyable. It can help you leave earlier. Speak sooner. Rest when needed.

And the beautiful thing is, you don’t have to 'move back into your body' all at once.

You notice. You let out a breath, soften your jaw, pause when something feels off instead of pushing through.

✨When you learn to listen, your body becomes one of the most powerful allies you have.✨

There’s more on my blog. Link in bio.

Photo PhotoHarmony Joanna Madziarska

03/03/2026

03/03/2026

Scars don’t only live on the skin. They live in movement, sensation and memory.

ScarWork developed by Sharon Wheeler - a close student of Ida Rolf, is a gentle, precise approach that works with your body, never against it.

ScarWork can be used:
- Post-surgery (even years later)
- Post-infection or post-inflammation
- Post-amputation (to recover from phantom limb sensations)
- In a presence of chronic pain, restriction, or reduced function

Book your appointment at: https://www.a-quintana.com/book

26/02/2026

Scars, the ones we see and the ones we don’t, hold the stories of what we’ve been through.

An old injury, surgery, or even early relational wounds can leave an imprint… but they don’t have to define how you feel today.

Your body is wise. Beneath the layers of protection, there’s intelligence and resilience. What once tightened to cope and survive can begin to soften when it finally feels safe 💛

If you’re in Oxfordshire, you’re warmly welcome at my studio - a calm, nurturing space dedicated to nervous system repair and trauma-informed, body-based support.

If it feels like the right time, you can book your appointment via my website.
Link in bio ✨

24/02/2026

🪷 I work with people who are curious about their bodies, their patterns, and the stories held within.

🪷 If you’ve begun exploring your inner world and feel ready to go deeper, I’m here to gently guide you.

🪷 This work goes beyond simply easing the symptoms. It’s a path for those who want to address the deep roots of pain, anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or self-neglect.

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