10/06/2026
Maybe you or someone you know can relate to this.
One of the most disorienting experiences after discovering infidelity is looking at the person you married and wondering:
Who is this person?
The spouse you once knew may suddenly seem astonishingly self-centered. They lie. They minimize. They defend the affair partner. They show little empathy for your pain. Sometimes, they even become angry with you for objecting to what they have done.
If you’ve experienced this, you may have wondered whether you were married to a narcissist all along.
Maybe.
But not necessarily.
Narcissism Is More Than a Label
“Narcissist” has become such a common word that we sometimes use it to describe anyone behaving selfishly.
True Narcissistic Personality Disorder is much more complex. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and a person can exhibit narcissistic traits without having a diagnosable personality disorder. Researchers have identified different presentations of pathological narcissism, including grandiose and vulnerable forms.¹
Research has also found an association between narcissistic traits, lower relationship satisfaction, and greater intentions toward infidelity.² People high in narcissistic traits may have an exaggerated sense of their own specialness, a strong need for admiration, and expectations that romantic partners should meet all their emotional needs.
When those expectations aren’t met, they may become dissatisfied and seek affirmation elsewhere.
But here is an important distinction: (to see more, click this link)
https://lindajmacdonald.substack.com/p/the-narcissistic-sinkhole?r=3t93cw&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
