10/09/2026
She came to me worried about her child's nervous system. But I could hear hers on the phone.
She called me to inquire about Low Energy Neurofeedback for her child.
But as she described her child's dysregulation, I could hear how dysregulated she was too.
She talked fast. There was an urgency in her voice.
During that first conversation, she decided she would receive LENS along with her child.
The first time they came into my office, she had two big bags with her.
Not diaper bags. Her child was 6.
These were bags of anything and everything they could possibly need for the day.
She had every base covered.
She talked fast. She moved fast. She anticipated everything.
And she was tired.
Her 6-year-old was still sleeping in her bed. She desperately wanted her sleeping space back, but she carried so much guilt about transitioning him into his own room that she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Over the next few months, they came in for 5 sessions.
And I started noticing things.
Her speech slowed down.
Her face softened.
She started taking really good care of herself.
She felt more carefree.
Her son started doing things she previously would have considered too dangerous.
She redid his room and started transitioning him into his own bed.
And then one day she walked into my office with one bag.
One.
It seems like such a small thing.
But I knew what those two bags represented.
She had needed to be prepared for every possible scenario. She needed every base covered. She needed to anticipate what might happen and make sure she was ready for it.
And now she didn't.
She noticed the difference too.
They both seemed to have more room to breathe.
This is one of the reasons that when a parent calls me about neurofeedback for their child, I often talk to them about whether it might be beneficial for them to receive support too.
Because children are deeply attuned to their caregivers.
They look to us for cues about safety. They learn regulation in relationship with us.
And if we're moving through the world braced for what could go wrong, anticipating every possible problem, struggling to settle ourselves, our kids experience that environment too.
This isn't about blaming mothers for their children's struggles.
Quite the opposite.
I wish more mothers understood how important THEIR wellbeing is.
Taking care of yourself isn't something you get to do after you've taken care of your child.
Sometimes taking care of you is part of taking care of them.
She came to me looking for help for her child.
I'm really glad she decided she deserved some too.