The Massage Beast

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Homeopathic Doctor | 20+ yrs Root cause medicine, Medical Massage Trauma Therapist specializing in Lymphatics, Rehab, Oncology, Fascia Remodeling, Central Nervous Reset, Regenerative Care.

🌊✨ UPCOMING PROMO: Introducing the "Fly with Angels" Spiritual Reset Flight ✨🌊Are you feeling tired, lost, or carrying a...
11/02/2026

🌊✨ UPCOMING PROMO: Introducing the "Fly with Angels" Spiritual Reset Flight ✨🌊

Are you feeling tired, lost, or carrying a heavy heart?

It’s time to change your frequency, shift your focus, and get quiet.

I haven't shared the theme for this Saturday's first-timer Pulsewave™ Vibroacoustic Sound Therapy promo until today as I have been building the music for this event and making a new Album, Fly With Angels and want you to hear it first how it should be expericed as a Whole Body Flight of Love. I am so incredibly driven to bring this experience to you as it is Transendental come fly with me.

💫 What is the experience?

Imagine laying in the sun by the water, where a warm orange glow spreads through your body and reality starts to blur. You aren’t fully asleep, but you enter that beautiful, sacred space between time and reality where your busy mind shuts down and your deeper soul wakes up.
Backed by deep, cell-vibrating frequencies, this session is designed to send a literal rush of pure love up your spine and through your blood. It is an overwhelming, breathtaking bliss so pure that it brings tears of absolute joy to your eyes. It lifts your spirit past the Milky Way—where the galaxy moves like butterfly wings—right into the sanctuary where angels smile and sing to you.

🔬 The Miracle of Being You

You will be immersed in a 528Hz frequency—the frequency of the miracle of life. Did you know the mathematical probability of your exact existence is 1 in 400 trillion? Your genetic code is a flawless masterwork of divine genius. Even if you have ever felt unwanted or broken by people on this earth, this session is a reminder that you are the pure genius of God's love, and that can never be taken away from you. You are not alone.

📅 The Details:

• When: This Saturday
• The Flight: A full 15-minute immersive experience
• Energy Exchange: Only $25
• Requirement: I need a minimum of 6 beautiful souls paid and locked in to schedule out the day!

🔒 How to lock in your spot:

1. Confirm & Pay by Wednesday: Drop your $25 to my secure Venmo link here: venmo.com (or use username -McKemie).
2. Send your info: If you aren’t already a patient at my clinic, please DM the page or comment below with your full name, phone number, and email address.
Once the slots are filled and paid by Wednesday, I will reach out to everyone individually to schedule your exact timeslot for Saturday.
Let go of the fear. Drop your frequency below the noise of the world. Come fly. 🤍

This one scares me and it should scare you too.
11/02/2026

This one scares me and it should scare you too.

10/30/2026
It is the absolute honor of my life to care for burn and electrical and life changing scar injury survivors. I see it ev...
10/27/2026

It is the absolute honor of my life to care for burn and electrical and life changing scar injury survivors. I see it every day—people who feel completely trapped by tight, painful scar tissue that pulls every time they try to move.
Once the wounds heal, you shouldn't have to just "live with it."
At The Massage Beast, I use a powerful clinical stack—Medi Cupping, myofascial rehab, micro-needling, red light, EMS, and radio frequency—to aggressively shatter and remodel scars from the inside out.
Regardless of whether it's a fire burn, surgery, injury or an electrical injury, this therapy completely changes lives:
• Restores your range of motion so you can finally move freely.
• Triggers deep collagen remodeling to flatten and smooth out tough tissue.
• Knocks down chronic pain and inflammation.
• Dramatically improves how your skin looks and feels.
You survived the trauma. Now, let me help you unlock your body, get your appearance back, and reclaim your life. I am ready when you are.

With Love,

Dr. Laura

🌿 HOMEOPATHIC HEALTH & DIVINE NUTRITION: The Ultimate Cellular Reset 🌿In my practice at The Massage Beast, I teach clien...
10/25/2026

🌿 HOMEOPATHIC HEALTH & DIVINE NUTRITION: The Ultimate Cellular Reset 🌿

In my practice at The Massage Beast, I teach clients that true healing is an active, daily choice.

When it comes to supporting oncology prevention, balancing blood sugar, and managing morning cortisol spikes, your breakfast is your most critical medicine.

Consistent, timed-release fueling within 1 to 2 hours of waking up signals to your entire endocrine system that the body is safe and supported. This actively keeps systemic inflammation down—the core goal of anti-cancer nutrition.
Today, I’m sharing a divine, metabolically active powerhouse meal that tastes exactly like a decadent Thai dessert all wrapped into one clinical recipe.

✨ THE MASSAGE BEAST CELLULAR POWER BOWL ✨

🥣 The Base Ingredients:
• 1 can of pure Coconut Milk (MCT fats for instant, sustainable brain fuel)
• 1 to 1.5 cups of Extra-Thick Rolled Oats (Bob's Red Mill is by far the best for real fiber structure)
• 1/4 teaspoon of Sea Salt (Crucial for cellular hydration and electrolyte balance)
• 1 teaspoon of Vanilla Bean Paste (Aromatic, rich, and deeply comforting)
• 2 tablespoons of Stevia Brown Sugar (The perfect sweet profile with zero blood sugar spike)

🔥 The Process:
1. Combine all base ingredients together completely cold in your saucepan.
2. Bring to a gentle bubble over medium-low heat.
3. Turn the heat down to low and let it simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, depending on exactly how thick you like your oats.

🥭 The Finish:
Top your warm bowl generously with vibrant diced Fresh Mango, golden-roasted cashews, and crispy toasted coconut flakes.

I like to make a big batch and food prep it for the week reheat the microwave, its fantastic.

Geek out with me nutritionally for a minute!

Why this is so important!

Why this works for your cells:
Anti-cancer nutrition isn't about restriction; it's about flood-loading your body with protective compounds. The slow-simmered beta-glucans in these extra-thick oats bind to toxins in the digestive tract, while the monounsaturated fats in the roasted cashews optimize nutrient absorption. The fresh mango delivers robust, highly researched anti-inflammatory polyphenols directly to your system without the inflammatory crash of refined sugars.
This is homeopathic functional medicine at its finest—feeding your body for deep longevity while enjoying every single bite.
How are you fueling your cellular health this morning?

Drop your questions below or share your favorite power toppings! 👇

🌿 Healing from the inside out!

Dr. Laura McKemie, FMD, MMT
The Massage Beast | Homeopathic Functional Medicine & Oncology Prevention

🩸 AGONIZING PERIODS & HEAVY BLOATING? WHAT YOUR OBGYN  ISN'T TELLING YOU ABOUT YOUR PERIOD!As a Homeopathic Doctor, I se...
10/18/2026

🩸 AGONIZING PERIODS & HEAVY BLOATING?

WHAT YOUR OBGYN ISN'T TELLING YOU ABOUT YOUR PERIOD!

As a Homeopathic Doctor, I see women really struggling with their periods all the time and Standard medical advice usually tells you to just pop ibuprofen, take birth control, this is normal or "push through" the pain as if it’s a baseline requirement of having a period and being a woman!

Honestly it pi**es me off and it makes me very sad.

Your body isn't a machine—your intense period pain and heavy flooding are signs that your system requires specific care to keep blood moving properly during your period. We have gotten away from so many traditional, old ways of taking care of the body during this time, and frankly, it makes me sad.

Here are the top things your regular doctor probably isn't telling you about your period, and what you can do a little bit differently for home care to truly get period relief:

❄️ STAY AWAY FROM COLD & DAIRY DURING YOUR PERIOD: Cold instantly constricts the blood vessels in your pelvis, making period cramps sharper. Dairy triggers heavy inflammatory responses that make uterine contractions significantly more painful during your period. Switch to warm or room-temperature liquids and ditch the cheese and milk during your period week.
🏃‍♀️ STOP DOING TOO MUCH PHYSICAL ACTIVITY DURING YOUR PERIOD: Forcing yourself through high-intensity and regular workouts drains the precious vital energy your body needs to naturally move blood and shed the uterine lining. Turn down the intensity and stick to gentle movement or restorative rest while on your period.
🍲 EAT REGULARLY DURING YOUR PERIOD (YOUR BODY NEEDS IT): Skipping meals starves your system of the basic fuel it requires to move blood effectively through the body and prevent period pain from stagnating. Eat warm, regular anti-inflammatory meals on a strict, predictable schedule during your period.
🌀 THE BENEFITS OF ABDOMINAL MASSAGE FOR YOUR PERIOD: Most women have never had an abdominal massage, and standard doctors rarely mention it. It is a massive missing piece for period pain. Specialized lymphatic massage physically flushes out the trapped fluid that causes heavy, swollen period bloating, while myofascial release unlocks tight tissues in your lower belly that clamp down on your uterus like a vice grip during your period.
🩹 BREAKING DOWN ABDOMINAL FIBROSIS & SCAR TISSUE: Another big part of this work that your OBGYN won't tell you about is breaking down fibrosis in your abdomen. I help women break down ovarian cysts, tumors, and internal fibrosis all the time. Over many years of doing this, I have helped countless women get the inflammation out of their abdomen and get their scar tissue under control—meaning they often don't have to have surgery at all, or the surgery ends up being far less invasive.

🏡 TOP 10 OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO AT HOME FOR PERIOD PAIN RELIEF:

🔥 1. Utilize targeted heat therapy: Keep a heating pad or hot water bottle on your lower abdomen to safely increase local blood flow and force pelvic muscles to relax during your period.
🧪 2. Load up on magnesium: This mineral acts as a natural muscle relaxant to soothe an overactive uterus and calm down sharp period contractions.
🌱 3. Incorporate warm kitchen spices: Adding ginger, turmeric, or cinnamon to your warm meals acts as a natural anti-inflammatory to blunt period pain signals.
⚡ 4. Try a TENS unit: A small transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation device can actively block intense period pain signals from reaching your brain on your heaviest days.
🛁 5. Do a heavy magnesium soak (One cup ain't s**t): Skip the basic Epsom salt and do a proper magnesium flake soak. You need a lot of it to actually make a difference—one cup isn't going to do it. You need about 4 pounds in the tub to truly saturate your system and release deep pelvic tension during your period.
🛌 6. Elevate your knees: Rest on your back with a pillow tucked beneath your knees or curl up in a fetal position to immediately take pressure off your abdominal muscles during your period.
🦶 7. Massage your own feet: Gently rubbing the inner ankle and the arch of your foot helps soothe the nervous system and lowers your overall period pain perception.
☕ 8. Prioritize herbal teas: Sipping warm chamomile, red raspberry leaf, or peppermint tea helps calm muscle spasms and keeps your pelvic pathways warm during your period.
🫁 9. Practice diaphragmatic belly breathing: Taking deep, slow breaths into your stomach physically stretches tight pelvic tissue from the inside out to ease period tension.
💧 10. Use hydrotherapy and contrast therapy: Rely on time-tested traditional hydrotherapy. Alternating strategic warm and cool applications (contrast therapy) over your pelvic area or feet stimulates local circulation, forces stagnant blood to move, and eases severe cramping.

🩸 IF YOU ARE BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG BEFORE A BOUCHERIE DURING YOUR PERIOD...

When your period flow is that heavy and completely out of control, you absolutely cannot ignore what your body is telling you. The severe fluid loss and period agony require customized care to stabilize your system, stop the pooling, and restore natural, healthy flow during your period.

📋 What you can do at home for heavy bleeding:
• Elevate your hips and rest completely: Lie down immediately and prop your hips up and knees with pillows to help slow down a flooding flow through gravity.

• Drink warm, nutrient-dense fluids: Sip on warm bone broths, chlorophyll-infused water, or dark herbal teas to keep your blood volume stable and replenish fluids without chilling your pelvic area.

• Keep external warm pressure constant: Maintain steady, mild warmth over your lower back and lower abdomen to stop the physical shivering and vascular shock that often accompanies heavy blood loss.

🩺 Things that I can help you with in my practice:
If you want to move past generic online tips and look at your specific system, these are things that I can help you with in my clinic to improve your periods and get the inflammation under control. I offer private consultations for homeopathic care, clinical massage, and lymphatics to build a targeted plan tailored exclusively to your body's needs during your period.

Let's get things moving.

👉 CLICK HERE TO BOOK YOUR PRIVATE CONSULTATION:
massagebook.com/themassagebeast

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Address

Lafayette, LA

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 6pm
Tuesday 8am - 6pm
Wednesday 8am - 6pm
Thursday 8am - 6pm
Friday 8am - 6pm

Telephone

+13373262035

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