09/29/2026
What happens when two people change so much that they're no longer the people who originally married each other?
Sometimes we talk about long-term relationships as though the goal is simply to stay together. But staying together and actually continuing to know, like, trust, and choose one another are very different things.
This week's episode of Starlight & Sage: Coming Home to Ourselves is a little different because Vanessa is joined by her husband, Adam, on their 13th wedding anniversary and they're not giving you the highlight reel.
They talk candidly about the years their marriage was deeply unhealthy, Vanessa's survival mode and healing journey, Adam's own pain and mental health, resentment, jealousy, body image, intimacy, sexuality, consent, communication, parenting, and what happened when one person began changing and the other chose to grow alongside her.
There is also plenty of laughter because their love story includes an Amazon engagement ring that didn't arrive on time, a proposal in the back of an S10, and a wedding night involving Wendy's and warm ch*****ne at a Wisconsin dive bar. Apparently romance comes in many forms. 😂
But underneath all of it is a conversation about something we don't talk about enough, the person you love is going to change. So are you.
Part of creating a lasting relationship isn't trying to keep each other the same. Maybe it's continuing to get curious about who you're each becoming and deciding whether you still want to meet each other there.
🎙️ We Almost Lost Ourselves Before We Found Each Other -Again An Anniversary Conversation with Adam. Now available on Starlight & Sage: Coming Home to Ourselves.
🤍 If both people are allowed to grow and change, what would it look like to keep getting to know the person your partner is becoming?