25/07/2026
☀️ Day 61: The Truth, the Battle, and the Gratitude
Good morning, Sober Sisters! 💜
Can I be real with you?
Actually, I have to be real. I don't want to BS y'all.
Yesterday was HARD.
Like 60-days-of-sobriety-and-ready-to-throw-it-all-away hard.
Here's the situation: kid-free weekend, out and about with my hubby, feeling a little like the "old us" again. And suddenly, there I was in a 35-minute battle with myself.
But I want to explain what that battle looks like because understanding my cravings helps me fight them.
For me, it usually starts with a gap.
A chunk of unplanned time.
Nothing urgent. Nothing demanding my attention.
As I approach that empty space, a tiny little mouse-like voice peeps ever so softly into my ear:
🐭 "Pssst. Pssst. Hey... ya wanna?"
I swat it away.
Not today.
I dismiss it like a fly buzzing around my burger.
But then I enter that gap and I haven't found anything meaningful to fill it.
That's when the mouse starts to grow.
Slowly, it transforms into a rat.
A big, nasty rat with a long gross tail and sharp little teeth.
Before I know it, it's perched on my shoulder yelling:
🐀 "HEY YOU! NO ONE IS HERE. NO ONE WILL KNOW. YOU CAN SNEAK IT IN, AND I PROMISE I'LL GO AWAY!"
That's when I call in the reinforcements.
I start repeating the things I know are true:
✅ I don't ever want to fu***ng drink again.
✅ I almost died.
✅ I almost lost my family.
✅ I got fired.
✅ I wrecked my car.
✅ Those last tremors were torture.
✅ I have so much to live for.
✅ I have my Sober Sisters.
One by one, I walk through the facts.
And something amazing happens.
The lies start losing their power.
The rat gets smaller.
The noise gets quieter.
The darkness fades.
And I can move forward.
Yesterday, my husband—who is also in sobriety—helped me hold the line. He pushed back despite all of my highly advanced and admittedly impressive persuasive techniques. 😂
Finally, after my latest attempt to negotiate with him, he looked at me and said:
"I'm trying to keep you alive, Rebecca."
Mic drop. 🎤
That was the moment.
I'm sharing this because recovery isn't always pretty. Sometimes it's messy, uncomfortable, exhausting, and downright ugly. Sometimes even after 60 days you're still fighting battles nobody else can see.
But this group means so much to me because you are my people. 💜
This is my safe space to share the good, the bad, and the ugly—not just the highlight reel.
Today I woke up on Day 61 with zero regrets and an overwhelming amount of relief and gratitude.
The craving passed.
The urge lost its power.
And today?
Today I feel like a complete badass. 😎
I'm sipping a delicious coffee, watching the sun try to peek through the clouds. In a little while I'll be heading to hot yoga, then spending the afternoon lakeside with my journal.
And I think today's journal entry is going to be about two things:
✨ Gratitude
✨ Authenticity
Because yesterday reminded me that strength doesn't come from never struggling.
Strength comes from struggling... and choosing yourself anyway.
Here's to Day 61. One more day. One more victory. One more reminder that we're stronger than the lies in our heads. 💜
💜✨
If you made it to the end of this, thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.
