10/30/2026
I came into this world a deep thinker.
From my earliest memories, I was pondering, why are we here?
I always had a flair for the dramatic. So much so that I limped on my right leg my entire first year of preschool. Every single day. And switched to the other leg the following year.
At least I was consistent.
I was reading Siddhartha from cover to cover at age 12 or 13.
Rumi, Anne Sexton, Virginia Woolf, Anaïs Nin, Sylvia Plath. All my heroes.
I definitely veered toward more depressed states for most of my life.
I do not wake up happy or thinking positively. I never have.
It’s work to rewire my brain.
And yet, here I am in my fifties, embracing all the complexities and contradictions, the glorious contradictions, that make up my being.
For a long time, I think I was playing a role.
I had all the education, certifications, teachers, mentors, processes. For God’s sake, I’ve spent a lifetime studying this stuff.
And yet, I think I was playing at ideas of what a healer was supposed to look like.
What does a holistic teacher sound like? A wellness coach? An expressive arts therapist? An artist? A writer?
What are they supposed to look like? How are they supposed to show up in the world?
I mean, I did get my degree in acting, so perhaps that informed some of it.
But I’ve come to the conclusion.
It looks like me.
Me in the muckety-muck, being honest, often not having a fu***ng clue.
Still evolving. Still questioning. Still contradicting myself.
I do not need to be the picture of completion.
I’m a work in progress.
The paint’s not yet dried.