Wilson Research Facility

Wilson Research Facility Opened in 1922, the Wilson Research facility is dedicated to bringing everyone research on Wilson and Wilson related things.

09/16/2012

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON2
Sunday, 1:00pm - As of tomorrow the Wilson Research Facility will be up and running again. We will be researching around the clock to make up for all te lost time we had this summer. We have, however, managed to clone said Wilson from one of his finger nail clippings...now we have two of those little buttholes running around. More results to be posted later.

07/23/2012

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Monday, 3:52pm - The WRF has been on hiatus for a couple of months now due to a mishap with the subject's "parents". They have taken back custody of him for the Summer. Wilson has been across the country for quite some time to visit our nation's capital, as seen on subject's "timeline".We have been desperately fighting for his return and expect to have the WRF up and running at a full head of steam in about eight weeks or so. We will keep everyone posted, please stay patient and calm, we know how much you all need your facility fixes.

06/05/2012

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Monday, 1:12 am - Wilson Research Facility is in desperate need of attention. Summer research progress at the institute is at an all time low, and the subject has gone dormant as of late.

04/17/2012

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Tuesday, 10:32am - As registration for classes approaches our subject has taken to applying for courses that he needs. It seems he has taken a liking to a course by the name of "Jesus". More research into this turn of events will be taken and monitored closely.

03/02/2012

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Friday, 3:27pm - Our subject has been napping for quite some time. A few of us have suggested that the subject's late night study sessions and recent indulgence into alcoholic beverages have affected his internal clock. We will continue researching this new hypothesis. Other than his new sleep schedule, Wilson has shown no other signs of abnormality. His immune system seems to have improved seeing as how all three of his roommates have gotten sick and he has yet to even acquire the "sniffles". We will also continue studying these interesting turn of events.

03/02/2012

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Thursday, 12:13am - Subject has been relocated to the Research Facility's lounge, where he remains dormant.A pool table has been left for entertainment, and as long as his water supply is kept constant, we should be able to expect the same results throughout the night - we hope.

02/15/2012

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Tuesday, 2:13am - Back by popular demand! Subject is sleeping peacefully, and also snoring up a goddamn storm.

12/23/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Thursday, 5:12pm - It seems that the WRF has been very good this year, as Santa has agreed to allowing us to keep Wilson Stewart for the rest of the school year!

12/21/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Wednesday, 12:16am - Wilson Stewart is still a butthead.

12/21/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Tuesday, 5:10pm - Wilson Stewart is a butthead.

12/07/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Tuesday, 11:01pm - Wilson Stewart was introduced to Goldfish today as a reward for his good test etiquette today in Chem Lab. It seems as though positive reinforcement has played a crucial role in the subject's development and behavior. As long as the subject is supplemented with nutritious and tasty snacks, his manners are exemplary. In the future, researchers hope to develop new synthetic goldfish that can be manufactured large-scale at an affordable price in order to keep Wilson healthy and happy.

12/05/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON!
Sunday, 10:41pm - Wilson Stewart has been studying peacefully in the lounge for the past two hours. Repeated attempts at agitation have been surprisingly unsuccessful, and we're worried that he might become TOO productive, resulting in a superhuman, super-attentive, MegaWilson, and nobody wants that.

11/29/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Tuesday, 12:04am - I'm coming for you, ya little bastard. Wilson Research will resume starting at 0900 hours. In the meantime, I trust that Drs. Ray Lawson and Phillip Albornoz have taken good care of the test subject, and seen to it that HE IS IN BED LIGHTS OUT by 1am.

11/19/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Friday, 4:03pm - It's Friday...Friday. You have to get down on Friday. Speaking of Friday, the WRF is still struggling to keep a hold on the Wilson test subject, but competing research facilities still continue to outbid us (sad face), so his staying here for the remainder of the year is still not certain.
Subject has been unusually hyperactive, displaying signs of insomnia. These late night "puppy mode" actions are believed to be triggered by long periods of inactivity. In the future, our scientists will work to regulate activity time, so as not to allow all of that potential energy to be released instantaneously resulting in puppy mode.

11/06/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Saturday, 10:51pm - Subject has demonstrated exceptional social behavior tonight among several different and diverse guests. Currently, our subject has settled down into the couch after a long day of outdoor activity. One concern, however, is that several other research facilities from other schools have shown interest in taking our subject to their location. I'd like to let our loyal patrons know that the WRF will fight and claw to make sure that Wilson stays here.

10/30/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Saturday, 2:37am - The Research Staff is taking a Halloween weekend break. We've let Wilson loose for the weekend to visit his ancestors back home while we recollect ourselves and enjoy a well-deserved break, full of exciting activities and new people (you know who you all are). Stay classy, WRF fans, and don't forget to stay posted on upcoming developments.

10/25/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Monday, 12:21am - Wilson Stewart's behavior has been exemplary lately. This concerns us, due to the fact that Wilson does have the ability to conspire against those who try to observe and help him. Also, the subject has developed a certain affinity for MY DAMN CHEESEBALLS. THOSE ARE MINE YOU FART INGESTING BEARD GROWING BUTT PIMPLE...but I digress. The rate of the cheese ball's disappearance follows a 2nd order rate law, defined as:
k = [Cheeseballs Consumed][Wilson's Hunger] mol/Ls
An additional step that is not discussed in detail is the presence of myself. My presence directly inhibits the disappearance of cheeseballs; however, Wilson's Hunger also rises proportionately.

10/19/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Tuesday, 11:38pm - Wilson has learned the art of mimicry via seeing pictures of our previous subject Brandon Rizkallah (Love you B). Subject was able to swell up to near-Brandon proportions before becoming too unstable; it was quite impressive. Also, in an attempt to branch out to WRF's surrounding community, I'd like to ask that those of you reading this will share our page with others. All things considered, if our page can hit 30+ fans that attend CLU, I will try to have WRF petitioned to become an official CLU recognized club on campus. Yes, for real.

10/13/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Wednesday, 12:17pm - Groundbreaking new research indicates that the subject can exist in an alternate state that my collegues and I have dubbed as "puppy mode". In puppy mode, every fiber of the subject's being is elevated to a higher, more excited energy level, resulting in a very hyper active Wilson. Symptoms include: loud, abrupt shouting, extended activity, such as butt-cheek flexions, and long boring stories about how lame he is.

10/12/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Tuesday, 12:10am - Wilson has been peaceful today, but my associates and I are still concerned with his new habits. It seems that the subject has taken to reading his textbook...we worry that if the subject succeeds in learning, the consequences that result from this brand of knowledge could be dire. It seems that the WRF can do nothing more than wait patiently, be prepared for the worst, and hope that Wilson uses his genius for the good and not for evil intentions.

10/10/2011

DATA ENTRY_
LOG_WILSON1
Sunday, 10:44pm - In an astounding new experiment, subject Wilson Stewart showed unelievable progress by showing observable signs of compassion. After crushing Alvina Wong's (the catalyst) toe, the subject relinquished possession of the sweet and sour sauce for the McNuggets. This obtained data shows exciting new promise towards understanding the inner workings of Wilson.

10/06/2011

DATA ENTRY_
LOG_WILSON1
Friday, 4:54pm - You farted three times over the interval of approx. 5 seconds, with each consecutive fart decreasing in intensity relative to its predecessor.

10/06/2011

DATA ENTRY_
LOG_WILSON1
Saturday, 1:45 am - Wilson is not in his quarters. Instead, a woman by the name of Tina Hedwall has taken over his domain, and is currently residing in his sleeping space. As of yet, we are unaware when she will leave or if she will leave, but the process is proving to be quite difficult. For now, I presume that all we can do is welcome our new visitor for the time being.

10/06/2011

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Monday, 11:41pm - The injected pheromone tagged 1,1, wilsoyloctane has seemed to have finally taken effect. Subject is currently surrounded by females, attracting a large portion if not all of their attention. The hostility has decreased, yet verbal abuse still remains constant.

_POST SCRIPT
Wilson Stewart was successfully able to coordinate approx 15 farts, in a row, within about a half second of each other. This astounding new discovery has opened up the Wilson Research Facilty to innovative and inspiring new methods of Wilson research.

DATA_ENTRY
LOG_WILSON1
Sunday, 10:09pm - Wilson seems to be docile at the moment, despite the injection(we told him it was a spider bite). Vital signs appear to be normal, and no instaneous fits of rage have occured as of yet. However, my collegues Dr. Philip Albornoz and Dr. Ray Lawson have noted in their publications that Wilson was observed "being a little girl" about it.

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101 Memorial Pkwy
Thousand Oaks, CA
91360

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