01/30/2024
9 years ago today after a very long 3 day labor I met my Luca earth side.
Luca “bringer of light”. How that name has always suited you. You bring so much to light in this world with your tenacious spirit and your heart of gold.
It’s hard to believe that when this picture was taken I had no idea what a doula was, no concept of HypnoBirthing, I was not a yoga teacher or a childbirth educator, I didn’t do Hypnotherapy, I did not consider myself a healer. I was just a young mother with a deep love for her child, I had no idea what I was doing, but somehow I knew I could do it.
Motherhood pushes you to go beyond your limits - to find the strength of a lioness again and again. How is it that one tiny human can bring out so much courage? The work of motherhood is not for the faint of heart. It’s lots of deep breaths, and parenting books, lots of “I’m sorry, let’s try that again.” Lots of inner child work. Lots of late night feedings, late night bedtime songs and tuck ins, again and again. Sometimes it’s late nights cleaning up vomit 😂. It’s lots of late night dishes and clothes folding. Work that’s almost invisible to the outside world. Its stretch marks and stained clothes, and cry’s in the shower. But it’s also..beautiful, like REALLY beautiful, it’s the deepest love you will ever feel. It’s finding respect and love for your body and the amazing things it can do- like carrying groceries and your baby up the stairs. It’s the sweetest baby smell (trust me your baby’s head is the sweetest smell in the whole wide world). It’s falling asleep with your little one on your heart and not wanting to move. It’s giggling, and rediscovering the wonder in the world as if for the first time. It’s splashing in puddles and catching fireflies. It’s playing in the dirt, it’s answering soulful questions about the world that you didn’t think you knew….and sometimes YOU DON’T KNOW ..so you look it up ..or circle back to it after a long meditation 😂. (More in the comments cause I’m long winded tonight 😂)