03/01/2025
Lately I’ve been confronted by how much I crave certainty.
I crave the certainty that I won’t run out of energy. That the kids won’t cry at the same time. That I won’t be alone too long. That the day won’t be more than I can handle. That we will have enough, enough, enough.
Months ago I realized I often go to a place of anticipatory dread - dread, worry, or fear that something will be hard, that I will run out of patience, that a kid will get sick and I will have to stressfully take him to the ER. I started living there.
Then one day I came across an encouragement that essentially said — “When a future event feels frightening, remember — God hasn’t given you a grace for it yet.” In other words, tomorrow or that situation that hasn’t happened yet — the grace for that hasn’t arrived yet because you have a grace for the moment you’re in right now. It was one of those revelations that you hope will stick with you for the long haul.
If I have the grace now for the situation that is to come later, what would I need God for? I wouldn’t.
I would have instead my manufactured certainty.
🫠🤧😅
You’d think having this revelation would completely change the way I live, mother and relate to people. And when I lean into the grace of the moment, it really does. But I am surprised at how often I need this reminder. Pretty much every moment I need it.
If you’re worried you might run out of time, patience, energy or peace — don’t worry, you will. But there is someone who won’t. 😮💨