01/11/2026
“Daphne, where are you? I don’t see you on Facebook anymore.”
I’m here, in a time of deep reflection and a need to reassess; to be with the immense discomfort of a fast changing world. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned, it is to learn to get more comfortable with the things that make us uncomfortable. This is the better way to integration and healing….even if it is difficult and clumsy (in my case).
I’m highly allergic to the total onslaught of AI in our lives. For the most part, I look at things and wonder how a person lost their way into relinquishing their creativity and life force energy to AI. I’m so over the AI generated ads. Can a human please show up????? Please. Pretty please. Asseblief. Por favor. Nceda.
This does not mean that I don’t value AI all together. I’ve had an awesome experience recently when I signed up for a program on my laptop and wanted the app on my phone. I could not log into the app on my phone and sent a message to the help centre. I received some of the most succinct instructions to resolve my issue, with a rider that if that did not work, I should get back to the help centre and a human would take over from AI to assist me. I followed the AI instructions and I was able to access the program on my phone in minutes.
Two nights ago I was feeling tender and sought music to soothe my soul. YouTube offered me a beautiful song. I Googled the singer only to find that “he” is an AI generated whatever. A beautiful voice and stunning, meaningful lyrics, but not a person. By extension this has an impact on what we consume as “verified” news…which may be AI generated to drive a particular narrative.
Recently a practitioner invited me to sign up for a session. What said person said to me and what their ad shows are WORLDS apart. I raised this, flagging particular issues, and was met with a huffy response. At the end of the day, if you put yourself out there as a healer/light worker/know it all…then you need to think about these things and how you choose to show up in the world. I’m still old school. What you see is what you get. I stand by my values and I’m comfortable in what I bring to the world. I also invest in myself first and not for what course I can do to make money off vulnerable people. I’m not a sheeple muchly.
Why was I tender, you ask? Besides still feeling a little affected by the recent full moon….I relocated from Cape Town, the city of my birth to East London, now called KuGompo City, 25 years ago today. It was the single biggest move I’ve done in my life so far. I’ve moved many times within cities, but not between cities. I still cannot believe that I’ve been here for a full quarter of a century!
During this “quiet time” I’ve had to deal with an injury brought about by a non-mindful person. The road to full recovery has taken much longer than initially thought. I’ve also observed the passing of friends and holding space for Bavika Ramjee, one of 6 South Africans missing following the devastating Tibet Nepalese flashflood of 26 August 2026.
I have to process many months in which service providers have not shown up for what they promised or quoted. It’s cost me money, time, income, energy and disturbed my peace. For some issues I have solutions. For one in particular, not. I gifted myself this highly expensive gift as a birthday present last year and it has given me not just headaches, but migraines. It has also negatively affected others in ways I could never have imagined. I’m grieving what could have been.
My dad died when I was a mere 8 years old…many decades ago now. He would have been 114 years old on 29 October 2026. In honouring his life and resting into the feelings of loss of his life when I was so young, I had many memories visit upon me. I remembered how he showed me that hacksaws, bow saws, crosscut saws are all different. He taught me how to use a vice, fix a leak on a roof, catch a fish in a canal using a broomstick as a rod. He took me into different areas to befriend people. He was the original breaker of brules (bu****it rules) in our family. I wonder where I got that streak in me from?
He took me to visit white friends of his and see a sangoma (traditional healer) in the township of Gugulethu when apartheid rules were well entrenched and people were separated according to the unscientific rules of Christian separate development and people were confined pretty much to specific race defined areas. I also visited Groote Schuur Hospital with him regularly to see his physician, Dr Christian Barnard. I remember how Dr B scolded him in Afrikaans (mother tongue to both of them) to stop smoking. He could not. He did not want to. He smoked 90 (ninety) Van Ryn cigarettes/a day. The smokes in the yellow box took him to his grave courtesy of a heart attack while he was alone at home on 4 April 1970. He was a deeply flawed man with good and bad in him in differing measures depending on the day and circumstances. I leaned into my grief around the loss of my father at such a young age and could identify the many ways that grief shows up for us……loss. Anger. Relief (after his death I grew up in a home free of the smell of cigarette smoke). Yearning for what could have been if he lived longer….and so much more.
During this time I’ve also completed a course in grief guidance and look forward to the time when I offer that support to others. For now, I’m resting into what the course has offered and changed in me. My entire being has been opened in ways expected and unexpected on the journey of exploring the depths and breadth of grief. And for those who know, I’m the master of grief. The past 6 years have offered me grief in ways I could never have dreamed of…the death of more than 50 people, including my mother, who have had a place in my heart.
I’ve learned that grief includes loss, but also anticipated loss. It breaks the heart but can also stir anger, bring relief, create space, reduce noise, increase vulnerability, open our hearts and so much more. Grief has changed me for good, forever. I’ve also learned that grief is a whole being experience. It affects, changes, tampers with body, mind and emotions and behaviour. I’ve learned that grief can be a great teacher. Grief is an initiation. It is also an uneven journey of indeterminate length and depth depending on one’s mental, emotional and belief resources. For some it can be debilitating. For me, it offered deep sadness, depression, anxiety and endless opportunities for reflection, release and growth. Grief has changed my mind in good ways. It has brought some awesome people into my life and I journey very differently with loss now.
My therapist believes steadfastly in the stages of grief model. Me? I think its hogwash. It was designed to address cancer yonks ago and then transplanted to grief. It’s far too formulaic for my liking. It’s firmly based on an understanding of life that death is somehow unnatural. It also leans towards suggesting that grief is only about the death of a person. I’ve come to understand that we can have grief around a myriad of issues – loss of identity, life state, country, loss of career, friends, when moving to a new place, loss of a body part (women do not grieve the loss of their wombs enough when they have a hysterectomy), a pet, what you own when you suffer a burglary, the loss of trust in a fellow human, and so much more. It also presumes a Judeo- Christian belief system and we know that there is much diversity in this crazy world of ours. If you accept that death is inevitable, why would you be angry and bargain your loss? And if you are not Christian or Jewish, who do you rant with about your loss? Who do atheists or agnostics argue with?
I’ve learned to be more comfortable with “doing nothing”. It’s incredibly healing and teaches me so much about my underling belief system and teaches me to be with not (-non) doing, better.
Despite and in spite all of this, I’m here, gently still doing my work. So, if you are called to explore in person or online options, have a look on my website www.daphnechonon.co.za for more details which you’ll find in the FAQ section. For rates, follow the options under the “make a booking” section. I look forward to the opportunity to serve you whether you live in South Africa or not.
To those who have reached out to me….THANK YOU. I deeply appreciate you.
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you
My deep gratitude to each one of you for being here and for being on my path.
I appreciate your time and energy.
