03/11/2026
Entering the pre birth portal is challenging.
It requires change. Slowness. Reflection.
An untangling of the nervous system.
Acceptance. Surrender. The unknown.
It all creeps in 🌀
The last 18 months I’ve worked on or in my business every single day and now I have to release it for a while? I have to move from doing into being ? I have to trust it will be ok to return ? Does winter really trust spring ?
I come across this photo the other day, taken by the master Alex Warden | Family Lifestyle Photographer | Educator . This was 2021. Covid. Lenny wad 9 months old. My dear grandmother had just died. I too, had died- maybe a million times that year. It’s my favourite photo of me and my son that will ever exist- mainly because it tells a story my mind cannot remember. The story tells of how a mothers love never wearies even when she does. This profound truth in my sons eyes. The eyes never lie.
Now my little boy. The one who still looks at me the same way is starting school next year. He’s turning 6. He’s needing me less. Our relationship will start to change and evolve as he starts his path to become a man. Hopefully a man who makes everyone in the room feel safe. This, not just my job but my honour.
As change and transition re-emerge in my life quite dramatically and quickly. I sit with many emotions. Probably many poems to come. Many tears to leave my eyes. Many lasts. Many firsts. Many deaths to dawn.
Maybe the whole point of life is to learn how to die?
Maybe grief makes room for what is yet to grow?
Maybe winter does trust spring ?
I’m somewhere between now and then.
Somewhere between what was and what is yet to be.
But until then, I’ll be here mourning me in winter while I wait for her in spring. 🌀
