29/10/2026
“I've already told you three times!”
When a child keeps asking the same question, it can feel like they aren't listening.
But sometimes, they aren't asking because they've forgotten the answer. They're asking because the answer hasn't settled their uncertainty.
For an anxious child, knowing what will happen and feeling reassured that it will happen are two different things.
Each time they ask, they may experience a brief sense of relief. But when that uncertainty returns, so does the question.
So what can parents do instead?
Rather than repeating the same answer with increasing frustration, try:
- Make the answer visible. Write it down, use a visual schedule or show them where the activity fits into the day.
- Acknowledge the uncertainty. “You're really looking forward to going. It's hard waiting when you don't know exactly when.”
- Give something concrete. “We're leaving after lunch. I'll let you know when there's 10 minutes to go.”
- Build predictability. Keep your answer consistent and follow through where possible.
- Offer connection, not just information. Sometimes a child needs reassurance that you've heard their worry, rather than another explanation.
The goal isn't to stop children from asking questions. It's to help them feel secure enough that they don't need to keep checking.
And remember, repeated questions aren't always about anxiety. Sometimes children are processing information, seeking connection or genuinely struggling to remember.
Does your child ask the same question over and over, even when they already know the answer?
For more practical parenting guidance, visit www.thetherapistparent.com or explore my book Guidance from The Therapist Parent.
