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Jaspreet Kaur

Directions

Jaspreet Kaur

03/11/2026

We expect parents to be their child’s safe space. But who is creating a safe space for the parent?

When your child is struggling, so much of your energy goes into making sure they are okay.

You are constantly thinking, worrying, planning, making decisions, looking for answers and trying to keep everyday life moving.

And through it all, you are expected to stay calm, be patient, think clearly and know what to do next.

But what happens when you are overwhelmed yourself?

When your nervous system is constantly on high alert?

When you are so consumed by everything that needs your attention that you can barely hear yourself think?

How are you supposed to find clarity, trust your own judgement or create a sense of safety for your child when you are struggling to find it within yourself?

This is why I believe supporting the parent is such an important part of supporting the child.

Not by giving them another list of things to do.

But by helping them regulate, reconnect with themselves and rebuild the capacity to hold everything they are navigating.

Because parents need more than advice about how to support their children.

They need support too.

With love,
Jaspreet 🤍

30/10/2026

When you are in the thick of holding your child through a really difficult season, it is hard to imagine life being any different.

I remember that fear.

Not knowing what was coming next. Not knowing how things would unfold. Having to keep finding a way forward anyway.

But one thing I held onto was my belief that this was a season.

And seasons change.

I did not always know when or how things would change, but I never stopped believing that there was more to our lives than what we were going through.

If you are in that place right now, I hope these words give you something to hold onto today.

This is a season. It is not their whole story.

With love,
Jaspreet 🤍

26/10/2026

You know what is one of the loneliest parts of parenting a child through a hard season?

Having to keep living your normal life when absolutely nothing about your life feels normal anymore.

You have been up half the night worrying about your child.

Maybe you have spent hours trying to calm them, comfort them, or simply make sure they are safe.

And then morning comes.

You get up.

You go to work.
You answer the messages.
You make the appointments.
You organise the meals.
You look after everyone else.

And somewhere in between all of that, someone asks how you are doing.

“I’m fine.”

Because where would you even begin?

How do you explain the fear you are carrying?

The decisions you are making that you never imagined you would have to make?

The constant wondering whether you are doing the right thing?

How do you explain what it is like to love someone so deeply and still feel completely helpless sometimes?

And even if you found the words, would they understand?

So you keep going.

You do what needs to be done.

You hold your child through whatever they are facing, while quietly carrying your own fear, exhaustion and heartbreak.

And because you are still functioning, people assume you are coping fine.

But I know there is a difference.

Sometimes you are not coping. You are just doing what you have to do because your child needs you.

I have been that parent.

And if that is where you are right now, I want you to know something.

I see the person behind the parent.

The one who is scared.
The one who is tired.
The one who does not always know what to do next.

The one who keeps showing up anyway.

And I hope you are finding a safe space for yourself too.

Because you need to be seen and held through this as well.

With love,
Jaspreet 🤍

23/10/2026

There was a time when I didn’t know what to do anymore.

I didn’t know what the right answer was. I didn’t know what would work. I just knew I couldn’t stop showing up.

So I kept pouring in the love.

And somewhere in that time, when I desperately needed some hope myself, I found it in my meditation.

I held onto it until I could see the way forward again.

So today, I am passing some of that hope on.

If you are in that place right now, borrow some of mine.

And if you know a parent who needs this today, send it to them. 🤍

With love,
Jaspreet

21/10/2026

The most important thing I learned while parenting my children through their hardest times was-

You cannot keep asking a child who is already holding so much to function as though they are ok.

You have to create safety first.

Help their nervous system begin to regulate.

And give healing the time and energy it actually requires.

When a child’s nervous system is already heightened, most of their capacity is already being used just trying to cope.

Things that seem small from the outside can feel enormous for them.

Getting out of bed.
Having a shower.
Brushing their teeth.
Getting through a school day.

Every additional expectation of even mundane tasks adds to the already limited capacity.

I knew I could not keep expecting them to function at the level they used to.

We had to prioritise.

Their mental health came first.
Their nervous system came first.
Creating safety came first.

Everything else - school, friendships, education - still mattered, but had to take a backseat. Just while we focused on healing and stabilising their nervous system.

This is the one thing I wish more parents were told.

If your child is going through a hard season, do not let what they are struggling to do become your focus.

Start creating enough safety so their system does not have to be overworking just to be through the day.

Look at what can be taken off their plate so their nervous system and their body can breathe and start to heal.

Healing takes time and it takes us parents to prioritise things differently from what we are used to.

And you know what, I would make that choice again every single time. Because everything else will fall into place once their nervous system and mental health are well.

With love,
Jaspreet 🤍

19/10/2026

There are times when you are holding your child through a really hard season and you do not even know what you are doing anymore.

You do not know if you are making the right decisions.

You do not know if anything you are doing is helping.

You do not know if you are getting through to them at all.

I remember those days.

And when I did not know what else to do, I just kept showing up.

I kept pouring love in.

Even when there was very little coming back.

Even when it did not seem to be reaching him.

Even when I had no idea whether it was making a difference.

One year, he was so shut off he did not want to celebrate his birthday.

He did not even want a birthday cake.

So we did not force the celebration.

I bought him a 1kg donut instead.

And he smiled.

I still remember that smile.

Looking back, I can pinpoint that day as a turning point.

Not because of the donut.

But because after so long of wondering whether anything was getting through, there was a little glimpse of him again.

And maybe that is what I want to say to the parent who is in the thick of it today.

You do not always need to know how to fix it.

Sometimes all you can do is keep showing up in the ways that matter to your child.

Keep meeting them where they are.

Keep reminding them that they are loved.

And on the days when they can not find their own hope...

let them borrow yours.

Let them lean on your love until they can carry a little more of their own again.

With love,
Jaspreet 🤍

14/10/2026

There were times I fought the school system while quietly wondering if I was burning the very bridge my child might still need to walk across.

That is a really hard place to stand as a parent.

When you can see that something is not working for your child...

But the path everyone keeps pointing you towards is the only one you have been given.

So you advocate.

You ask questions.

You push back.

You sit in meetings.

You challenge decisions.

And somewhere underneath all of that is the fear:

What if I am getting this wrong?

What if I push too hard?

What if I damage relationships my child might need later?

What if the alternative does not work either?

I know what it feels like to carry those questions.

But I also learnt something through it.

Sometimes the answer is not to keep fighting to make an existing path work for your child.

Sometimes you have to have the courage to stop and ask:

What if we need to build a different one?

Not for your child.

With them.

A path that starts with seeing the child in front of you.

What they need.

Who they are.

What allows them to feel safe enough to grow.

And then taking the next step together.

You may not be able to see where that path leads yet.

Sometimes you just have to trust that you know your child well enough to take the first step.

With love,
Jaspreet🤍

12/10/2026

One of the questions I learnt to ask very early on was:

What does my child actually need?

Not...

What should they be doing at this age?

What is everyone else’s child doing?

What does school think they should be doing?

What will other people think if we choose a different path?

But genuinely:

What does MY child need right now?

For me, that shift happened quite quickly.

The harder part was trusting the answer when it looked nothing like what everyone else thought we should be doing.

And believe me, there were opinions.

There was judgement.

There were people who genuinely thought I was making the wrong decisions.

But I could see what my child needed.

And I learnt to trust that more than I trusted everything the world was telling me a child should be doing.

Because when we can quiet some of that noise, we get to really see the child standing in front of us.

What do they need to feel safe?

What do they need to feel supported?

What environment allows them to thrive?

What is getting in the way of their light?

And what does becoming the best version of themselves look like, not the version the world expects them to be?

So if you are struggling with what to do next for your child, perhaps start here:

Take everyone else’s voice out of the room for a moment.

And ask yourself:

What does the child standing in front of me actually need from me right now?

Then listen to what comes up.

With love,
Jaspreet 🤍

09/10/2026

There are certain moments we almost automatically expect will be part of our children’s lives.

Graduation ceremonies.
School leavers dinners.
School socials and dances.
The photos and celebrations that come with all of it.

And when you realise some of those moments might not happen, it hurts.

I have felt that.

Not because those milestones determine whether our children will have a good life.

But because somewhere along the way, we form a picture of what growing up is supposed to look like.

And sometimes what hurts is not that our child is failing.

It is realising that the picture we carried of how their childhood would unfold is not going to happen quite the way we imagined.

There can be sadness in letting go of that picture.

But I have also learnt something else.

When we stop trying so hard to make life look the way we thought it should, we make space for something else to unfold.

And sometimes what unfolds is more beautiful than the picture we had in the first place.

Because there is nothing quite like watching your child find their spark again.

Especially when you have watched them lose it.

Watching the light slowly come back.

Seeing them become interested in things again.

Hearing excitement in their voice.

Watching their confidence return.

Seeing glimpses of “them” again.

Maybe their path does not look like everyone else’s.

Maybe the milestones are different.

Maybe success looks different too.

But when you have watched your child lose themselves, you stop caring quite so much about whether their life looks the way it is “supposed” to.

You just want to see them shine again.

And perhaps part of our job as parents is not to make sure our children follow the path we imagined for them.

Perhaps it is creating enough safety and space for them to discover their own.

- Acceptance over Expectation. -

I have learnt that there is so much beauty on the other side of letting go of what we thought it was all supposed to look like.

🤍

With love,
Jaspreet

06/10/2026

Have you ever stopped to think about how much of what hurts comes from the way we thought things were supposed to be?

Not necessarily from what is happening, but from the gap between what is and what we expected it to be.

This has come up a lot lately - in sessions and in my own life.

The child we thought we would have.
The relationship we thought we would have.
The person we thought we would be by now.
The life we thought we would be living.

And I keep coming back to three words:

**Acceptance over expectation.**

Expectation keeps asking, *why isn’t this different?*

Acceptance asks, *this is where I am and what do I need to do now?*

And that is the part I am learning (and teaching).

Acceptance is not giving up.
It is not pretending something does not hurt.
And it does not mean we stop hoping for change.

It is simply choosing to stop fighting what is, long enough to meet ourselves, and the people we love, where we actually are.

And then moving from that place of not resisting, not fighting, not being angry, but with a sense of peace.

**Acceptance over expectation.**

I am trying to practise a little more of that.

With Love,
Jaspreet x

Jaspreet Kaur Pilates with Jas

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