11/11/2026
WE NEED TIME.
Ton Mazzone's reflection on my contribution at the Traumality Northern Irish Premier has stayed with me.
When asked what one thing I would change, my answer was simple. I would give us all back time.
Time to learn.
Time to play.
Time to build relationships.
Time to connect.
Time for one another.
Time to reflect.
And perhaps nowhere is the importance of time more evident than in grief and bereavement.
Grief cannot be rushed. There is no timetable for loss, no prescribed way to navigate it and no point at which someone should be expected to have moved on.
Bereaved children need time. They need adults who have the time, confidence and capacity to listen, to sit alongside them, to answer difficult questions and to recognise that grief doesn’t simply disappear when everyone else returns to normal when often what they need is time to adjust. They may need to continue to have a relationship with their loved one in a new way and it all takes time. 🙏
But the adults around them need time too.
Parents, teachers, funeral professionals and those working within our support systems need the space to connect, to understand and to respond with compassion.
We talk about becoming more trauma-informed, but perhaps we also need to look honestly at the systems and lives we’ve created.
We cannot keep asking people to do more, respond faster and carry heavier workloads while expecting relationships, connection and compassion to flourish.
Perhaps we don’t always need another initiative, another resource or another demand.
Perhaps we need to give something back.
WE NEED TIME.
Thank you, Ton, for taking my words and giving them further thought. It’s a conversation I hope continues long beyond the evening itself.
On Thursday 22 October, TRAUMALITY received a standing ovation at its Northern Irish premiere at The MAC in Belfast, followed by a panel on what a more traum
