30/08/2026
A little update from me 🤍
I’ve been thinking for a while about what to put on here because most people who know me already know why I’ve paused the Cosy Snug Serenity, but some of you might not.
So I thought I’d just be honest and share a little bit of where I’m at.
My beautiful son Jack is 25 and lives with me. He has a cancerous brain tumour, and we’re also looking at funding and the possibility of treatment in the Netherlands.
Alongside being Mum and everything that comes with that, I work full time as a business manager in a GP surgery.
So life is a bit bloody full at the moment.
And that’s why I made the decision to pause the meditation and sound healing in the Cosy Snug.
It wasn’t because I’d stopped believing in it.
It wasn’t because I’d stopped loving it.
Quite the opposite.
I love holding that space for people. I love the beautiful souls who have come through the door over the years, sharing their stories, their journeys, their tears, their laughter and their lives with me.
But I knew I couldn’t keep holding everyone else if I wasn’t holding myself.
I need to be able to really be present for people who come into the Snug. Not just physically there, but energetically and emotionally there too.
And right now, I need to put that energy into my family, Jack, work and myself.
So I gave myself permission to pause.
And actually, that’s been quite a lesson in itself.
Because I’m usually the one saying to everyone else, look after yourself.
And then I found myself doing exactly the opposite.
I wasn’t sleeping properly.
I wasn’t exercising.
I wasn’t taking time for myself.
I was doing what so many of my clients have said to me over the years…
“I haven’t got time.”
“I’ll do it when things settle down.”
“I just can’t fit it in.”
And suddenly I realised I was doing exactly the same thing.
Funny how life has a way of reminding you of the things you already know.
I remembered something I say to clients all the time:
When you don’t have time, you need it more.
And that’s where all the work I’ve done over the years started coming back to me.
The meditation.
The Reiki.
The sound healing.
The walking.
The strength training.
The yoga.
The holistic stuff.
The shamanic experiences.
Being in nature.
Music.
Talking to people.
And just learning to sit with myself.
None of it has made what is happening with Jack disappear.
None of it has taken away the fear.
None of it means I wake up every morning feeling calm and spiritually enlightened. 😂
Sometimes I wake up and think, what the f**k are we doing?
Sometimes I cry.
Sometimes I’m angry.
Sometimes I’m exhausted.
Sometimes I don’t know how I’m going to get through the next day, never mind the next few months.
But somehow…
I get up.
Because I’m a mum.
And I turn up for Jack.
And I’m learning that if I’m going to keep turning up for Jack, I have to turn up for myself too.
That doesn’t mean being selfish.
It means making sure there is something left in me.
My spiritual journey has been going on for years and it’s still going.
I’ve had some amazing experiences.
I’ve stayed with monks in the Lake District.
I’ve experienced shamanic work in Peru.
I’ve worked with Reiki, meditation, sound healing and lots of different holistic practices.
Some things have resonated with me more than others.
But I’ve never seen any of it as “this is it, I’ve arrived.”
It’s never been that.
It’s always been about learning.
Exploring.
Feeling.
Questioning.
Sometimes believing.
Sometimes questioning again.
Just being human.
And I think that’s what spirituality really means to me now.
Not pretending life is beautiful all the time.
Because sometimes it really f**king isn’t.
It’s about how we navigate it.
How we meet it.
How we get through the difficult bits without losing ourselves completely.
And I’ve been reminded of something else I say to my clients.
If you came to me and said, “I want to run a marathon,” I wouldn’t tell you to go out tomorrow and run 26 miles.
You’d start with a little run.
Then another.
You’d build your strength.
Build your stamina.
Some days you’d smash it.
Other days you’d be knackered and not want to go.
You might have a week where you do nothing.
And then you start again.
That’s how I see meditation.
That’s how I see Reiki.
That’s how I see strength training.
And really, that’s how I see any spiritual path.
You practise.
The more you do something, the more familiar it becomes.
The more you meditate, the easier it can be to find that space.
The more you work with yourself, the more you start recognising your own patterns.
But you’re still going to have s**t days.
You’re still going to get angry.
You’re still going to cry.
You’re still going to lose your way sometimes.
That doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
It means you’re human.
So I’ve started bringing movement back in.
Walking has become a big one for me.
Sometimes it’s literally five minutes around the block.
Sometimes longer.
Sometimes I’ll go three times in a day.
It doesn’t have to be some huge walk with a bloody great target attached to it.
It’s just getting outside.
Breathing.
Looking at the sky.
Feeling my feet on the ground.
Getting my body moving.
I’ve also started strength training again.
Not because I need to look a certain way.
I just want to feel strong.
I need to feel my body.
Because my mind can be going a million miles an hour, but there is something about moving your body that brings you back into yourself.
And yoga…
Thank God for Mary’s classes. ❤️
They have been exactly what I need.
And then there’s music.
Because sometimes self-care isn’t meditation.
Sometimes I just want to go and watch a band.
I bloody love live music.
Being in a room with music playing, singing, laughing, watching people perform, being around people and forgetting everything for a couple of hours.
Just being me.
Not Mum.
Not the person worrying about appointments, funding, treatment or what happens next.
Just me, enjoying music.
And actually, I think that’s important too.
We can make self-care far too complicated.
Sometimes it’s meditation.
Sometimes it’s Reiki.
Sometimes it’s sound.
Sometimes it’s a walk.
Sometimes it’s strength training.
Sometimes it’s yoga.
Sometimes it’s sitting with a coffee.
Sometimes it’s a massive cry.
Sometimes it’s talking absolute bo****ks with your friends and laughing until your stomach hurts.
And sometimes it’s a bloody good band and loud music.
It all counts.
I’m also learning to let people look after me.
That’s not always easy when you’re normally the one looking after everyone else.
I’ve had to say to people,
“I trust you to hold me for a while.”
And that’s been quite powerful.
Because needing people doesn’t make you weak.
Having a wobble doesn’t make you weak.
Crying doesn’t make you weak.
Resting doesn’t make you weak.
Sometimes strength is actually saying, “I can’t do this bit on my own.”
And then letting somebody stand beside you.
And then there’s Jack.
Honestly, his attitude through all of this amazes me.
He’s 25.
He’s facing something no 25-year-old should have to face.
And yet he’s chosen to use his voice.
He’s started vlogging and has his own TikTok channel, sharing what he’s going through and raising awareness around the situation.
And I’m so bloody proud of him.
Because he isn’t just doing it for himself.
He wants to share his experience because he hopes it might help somebody else.
Maybe someone going through something similar.
Maybe a family who suddenly finds themselves thrown into a world they know nothing about.
Maybe someone who just needs to hear another person say, “You’re not on your own.”
That means something.
He’s turning something incredibly difficult into something that might help somebody else.
That’s his purpose in it, I think.
He’s using his voice.
He’s turning up.
He’s sharing.
And he’s trying to make a difference.
And as his mum, I couldn’t be prouder.
We’re also trying to navigate the funding side of things and the possibility of treatment in the Netherlands, which brings another whole level of uncertainty.
There are lots of conversations, lots of questions and lots we simply don’t know yet.
So I’m not going to pretend I know how this is all going to play out.
I don’t.
And maybe that’s another lesson.
We don’t always need to know the whole road.
Sometimes we just need to know the next step.
The next appointment.
The next conversation.
The next walk.
The next breath.
The next five minutes.
That’s enough.
So if you’re reading this and you’re struggling yourself, please don’t think you need to have it all together.
You don’t.
And if you’re saying, “I haven’t got time for myself,” then maybe that’s exactly when you need to find five minutes.
Put the phone down.
Stop scrolling through all the crap we constantly fill our heads with.
Go outside.
Breathe.
Move.
Sit.
Listen to music.
Do whatever brings you back to yourself.
When you don’t have time, do it more.
I’m learning that all over again.
This morning I got up, had my coffee, went for my walk and then I’m off to yoga.
Nothing huge.
Nothing profound.
Just showing up.
For Jack.
For myself.
For my body.
For my mind.
For my spirit.
And for the life that is still happening around all of this.
I don’t know what the future holds.
I don’t know how I’m going to feel tomorrow.
I don’t know how this story ends.
But I do know I have to turn up.
For Jack.
And for myself.
And on the days I can’t do much, I’ll do what I can.
That’s enough.
The Cosy Snug is paused for now because I need to be able to hold myself and my family.
But the love for the work hasn’t gone.
If anything, I’m understanding it on a much deeper level.
Because it’s very easy to talk about meditation, healing, spirituality, movement and self-care when life is ticking along nicely.
It’s another thing entirely when life knocks you sideways.
And I’m finding out what all that work really means when I need it.
I’m still learning.
Still figuring s**t out.
Still laughing.
Still crying.
Still walking.
Still lifting.
Still meditating when I can.
Still listening to music.
Still connecting.
Still finding little moments of joy.
Still trying to find my way through.
And maybe that’s all any of us are doing.
The journey is the work.
I’ll keep this page open and share bits of the journey when I can.
Not because I’ve got all the answers.
I haven’t.
Just because maybe being real about it might help somebody else.
Sending love to all of you beautiful souls. 🤍
And thank you for still being here, for the messages, the love, the laughs and the kindness.
I’ve spent years supporting others, and I’m learning now that it’s okay to receive some of that love back.
We all need each other sometimes. ♥️
