Positively Autistic

03/10/2025

Time management tropes don’t work for AuDHD brains.
Colour-coded calendars, “eat the frog,” time-blocking, Pomodoro till you puke… what fresh hell...

Here’s what actually does work; my Top 21 ADHD productivity hacks, built on dopamine, honesty, and a refusal to measure myself against the Normcore Horde’s templates:

Body doubling – someone else existing nearby = instant focus spell.
Timers as spells, not shackles – 5–20 mins, just enough to break inertia.
The one sticky note rule – today’s priority has to fit on one Post-it.
Micro-deadlines – tiny finish lines for tiny dopamine hits.
Outsource your memory – notes, boards, alarms. Brains are not filing cabinets.
Dopamine treats – snacks, music, fidgets. Bribe your chemistry.
The “do it messy” rule – ugly draft > eternal avoidance.
Environmental hacks – new chair, new room, new café. Shift = spark.
One-step entry – “open document,” not “finish report.”
Visual anchors – water bottle = drink. Folder by door = take it.
Gamify it – race the clock, beat past-you, pretend it’s a diamond heist.
Outsource executive function – people, apps, reminders. Delegate the boring.
Park downhill – stop mid-task so tomorrow’s on-ramp is easy.
Emotional check-in > rigid planning – “How do I feel? What’s possible?”
Done lists – track what’s finished, not what’s pending.
Bribery – one email = one coffee. No shame, only caffeine.
Batch boring s**t – emails + calls in one numbed-out swoop.
Novelty infusion – rotate pens, playlists, tools. Keep it shiny.
Forgive and reset – lost hours doomscrolling? Restart your day at 3pm.
Radical self-acceptance – my brain isn’t broken. My system just isn’t yours.
Group by energy, not task – buzzing = big jobs. Foggy = admin. Match your battery.
None of this is about “fixing” AuDHD. It’s about building systems that actually work for how we’re wired.

What’s your go-to AuDHD hack?

03/10/2025

I've updated my Ko-Fi page with some new resources for download, my own coaching frameworks and there's more to come.

Become a supporter of Positively Autistic today!

07/06/2025

🧠 The Stages of Realising You’re Autistic + ADHD at 46 (Give or Take)
For the late-diagnosed, self-diagnosed, and still-figuring-it-outs—especially if you were socialised as female.

I didn’t wake up one day knowing I was neurodivergent.
It was more like this slow, spiralling, bittersweet unraveling.

Here’s how it went. Maybe it’ll sound familiar.

🔍 Curiosity
Something’s always felt… different.
Like I’m tuned into a frequency that everyone else seems to ignore.
Like I’ve been translating the world my whole life.

😬 Dismissal
"But I make eye contact."
"But I care too much."
"But I’m functional (sort of)."
(That one’s the kicker, isn’t it?)

💡 Recognition
Sensory overload? Executive dysfunction? Burnout? Masking?
I wasn’t just tired—I was masking fatigue.
And suddenly, the language fit.

😳 Shock
All those years of “what’s wrong with me?”
Turns out, nothing was wrong—
but the world wasn’t built for people like me.

💔 Grief
I grieved the child who was punished for “not trying hard enough.”
The teen who withdrew.
The woman who became a chameleon just to stay employed.
And I grieved the time lost—misdiagnosed, misunderstood, missed entirely.

🧠 Research Spiral
Welcome to the late-diagnosed PhD program I did not sign up for.
Yes, I can now quote articles, books, and memes in equal measure.

🥹 Self-Compassion (Sort Of)
I’m not lazy, dramatic, or difficult.
I’m dysregulated. I’m demand avoidant. I’m exhausted.
And I’m worthy of gentleness.

🔥 Rage
At schools.
At doctors.
At HR departments and corporate nonsense and being told to “manage stress better.”
At how much I internalised instead of questioning.

🧩 Rebuild
Not a reinvention.
A reclamation.

A life with less masking and more soft clothing.
Less "should" and more "what do I need right now?"

Better snacks. More naps.
Permission to be everything I am.

I’m still rebuilding.
But I no longer gaslight myself.
And if you’re in this process too?
You're not late. You're right on time.

With love and middle-finger energy,
Paula 💙

10/05/2025

When is autism + ADHD not a superpower?
When it gets you estranged from your family because you're "too much" or "too blunt."
When your sensitivity gets twisted into a weakness people exploit—emotionally, financially.
When your intense loyalty keeps you in a toxic marriage for far too long.
When your nervous system burns out again from masking at work, so you stop trying.
When you're 55, brilliant, autistic, and wondering if you'll die broke and alone because “ambition” never worked the way it was supposed to.
This is the part we’re not allowed to post.
This is the part that doesn’t fit the neat little hashtag narrative.
I’m not here to romanticise autism or ADHD.
I’m here to tell the truth—especially when it’s complicated.Yes, I have strengths.
But they’ve come at a cost.
And when society doesn’t see your worth, those “gifts” can feel like burdens.
To every late-diagnosed woman who’s lost too much:

You are not broken.
You were never “too much.”
You were just not protected.
I’m building spaces for us to unmask and grieve—and still believe in something softer.

This is what quiet power looks like.
No glitter. Just truth.

04/05/2025

https://ko-fi.com/s/9f1e61d449

🧡 Group Session Invite: You don’t have to hold it together alone Hi lovely humans, I’m opening up a gentle online space for late-diagnosed autistic ...

18/12/2024

If you need help over Christmas, I’m here.

Alternatively, here are some helplines if you need to speak to someone anonymously.

05/12/2024

It has taken years to realize how important that is.

29/06/2024

A L I F E U N L I V E D

I’ve missed opportunity after opportunity and have lived most of my life unfulfilled. It’s only after my AuDHD diagnosis at 46 that I’ve managed to do the things I wanted when I was younger. But I’m unemployable, terrible with money, messy, have face blindness so don’t recognise people I know; I’m frightened most of the time.

Neurodivergent people have vulnerabilities that other people cannot possibly comprehend. This planet doesn’t work for us.

But…

When I talk about Positive Psychology, I’m not talking toxic positivity. I mean being the best neurodivergent person you can be, living a life that fits you and allows you to be fulfilled. I swim against the tide, I always will and I’ve sacrificed so much to be able to live with myself.

My mission in life is to help you cope, manage, grow and flow. However that works out for you. Know your love languages, be creative, question everything and lean into your diagnosis.

Set your solid foundations and live the way you want to.

29/06/2024

I do so love non-autistic people telling us what we want.