01/10/2026
• T R I G G E R • W A R N I N G •
This may be an uncomfortable read but I need to comment on the Cornell 7.
I was 12 when I learnt to walk home with my keys between my fingers.
13 when I looked over my shoulder before opening my front door.
14 when I started receiving obscene phone calls on our landline (yes, before mobiles).
15 when I started to clock inappropriate advances from adult men.
16 when I was told I shouldn’t wear short skirts if I didn’t want attention.
17 when I found myself in a voiceless situation where I froze through fear.
18 when I was followed home.
A woman I worked with, Liz Chau, was 19 when she disappeared. Her family still live with that uncertainty.
36 when I left an abusive relationship.
45 when my drink was spiked.
And today, at 49, I still operate from a place of hypervigilance when I’m out.
Look at that timeline.
I grew up learning how to protect myself before I even understood what I was protecting myself from. A guidebook for not being objectified, taken advantage of, assaulted, “leading men on” - all because I was female.
And this isn’t unique to me. Every woman I know has a version.
So yes, the news coming out this week about the Cornell 7 has left me beyond furious.
WHY are our girls expected to carry the responsibility for preventing male violence?
WHY are women taught how to avoid danger, rather than putting the responsibility where it belongs?
We teach our children about consent, boundaries, healthy relationships and respect.
But we also need to teach them to NOTICE.
To speak up.
To call it out.
To stand beside someone who is vulnerable.
To not be a bystander.
And I want to be clear: I have incredible men in my life. My partner, family & friends. This isn’t about bashing men.
It’s about challenging a system that has taught women for generations that their safety is their responsibility & calling all of us to use our voices to change it.
Because Jane Doe isn’t an abstract person.
She could be your mum. Your sister. Your daughter. Your niece. Your neighbour. Your friend. YOU.
So yes, I’m angry as a woman, a mother and a HUMAN BEING.
If this has hit you hard too, please know I am here to listen 🤍 you aren’t alone.
