23/12/2024
The Pressure of Being “Merry and Bright” at Christmas
There’s a unique kind of pressure that rolls in with the holiday season. It’s not just about decorating the house, buying gifts, or cooking the perfect meal—it’s the pressure to feel a certain way. To be merry. To be glowing with excitement. To embrace the magic of the season with twinkling lights in your eyes and a warm, fuzzy feeling in your heart.
But what if you don’t?
I said to Hubbie earlier that I wasn’t really looking forward to Christmas this year. Not in a dramatic, “Bah humbug” way, and I’m not sabotaging it. I just… feel indifferent. It feels like there’s a gap between what the season expects of me and what I can realistically offer. It’s not sadness, exactly—it’s more like exhaustion, or maybe a loss of connection to the joy I’m supposed to feel.
We’re surrounded by images of the “perfect” family Christmas: matching pajamas, happy children, tables overflowing with food, laughter around the fireplace. And let’s not forget the social media posts filled with smiling faces, expertly wrapped gifts, and captions like “So grateful for the magic of the season.” It’s lovely to see, but it can also be crushing. It makes you wonder: What’s wrong with me if I don’t feel this way?
It’s not just about appearances—it’s the belief that if your Christmas isn’t picture-perfect, you’ve somehow failed. Like happiness is another item on the to-do list: bake cookies, hang wreaths, and be joyful. And if you’re not ticking that last box, it’s hard not to feel like you’re falling short.
But here’s the thing: joy isn’t a switch you can flip on demand. Life doesn’t pause for Christmas. Maybe you’ve lost something this year—someone you loved, a dream, or just a piece of yourself—and you’re still processing. Maybe you’re overwhelmed by the demands of daily life and don’t have the energy to dive headfirst into the festivities. Or maybe, like me, you can’t quite pinpoint what’s missing, but you know it’s something.
And that’s okay.
Christmas isn’t an exam you have to pass. There’s no right or wrong way to feel. The pressure to be “Christmassy” can rob us of the freedom to simply be. You’re allowed to feel indifferent. You’re allowed to feel sad. You’re allowed to step back from the hustle and bustle and do the season your own way—or not at all.
Sometimes, the best thing we can give ourselves is grace. Grace to say, “This year, I’m not doing everything. I’m just going to let it be.” Grace to skip the big meal or the endless shopping if it feels like too much. Grace to create new traditions or let go of old ones that no longer serve you.
So, if you’re not feeling particularly merry and bright this year, you’re not alone. Don’t force it. Don’t let anyone—or any ideal—tell you how you should feel. You’re enough, just as you are, whether you’re covered in glitter and wrapping paper or curled up on the couch with a mug of tea, quietly watching the world go by.
Picture is of the tree that we’ve just decorated this evening.
