09/11/2026
What Must It Be Like for Them?
I’ve been sitting with a question lately that I think we don’t ask enough. As mediums, we spend so much time thinking about our side of the connection: how to sit in the power, how to blend, how to interpret, how to deliver the message well. But what about them? What is it like for a spirit person trying to reach us? How does it feel? What are they actually doing?
Of course, we don’t truly know. Nobody does. But I think it’s a wonderful thing to consider, and I’ve come to believe that the more we understand their side, the better we can serve them.
Stepping into our world
Imagine for a moment that you’ve left your physical body behind. You’re free, you’re light, and you’re aware in a way you never were before. Then someone you love is sitting in a room with a medium, longing to hear from you. You want to reach them. But how?
I think it must be a bit like trying to speak through water. Our world is dense and heavy compared to theirs. To come close, they have to slow themselves down, gather their thoughts, and hold them steady long enough for us to catch them. That can’t be easy. I sometimes wonder if it takes as much effort and concentration for them as it does for us, maybe more.
Finding the medium’s mind
Then there’s the question of how they find us at all. I don’t think it’s about distance or location. I think it’s about light and resonance.
When a medium sits in the power and raises their awareness, I believe something lights up, like a lamp in a window on a dark night. The spirit person is drawn to that light. And alongside it there’s another thread, the love and the longing of the sitter. Love seems to be the thing that guides them in. It’s the road they travel along.
So the clearer our light, the easier we are to find.
What they’re trying to give
I don’t believe spirit people come to us with sentences ready-made. I think they come with the essence of themselves: their feelings, their memories, their character, the way they loved and the way they laughed. They’re offering who they are.
And this is where I think the blending happens. The discarnate soul draws close and blends with our soul. Soul to soul. In that moment, there’s a great deal being shared, far more than we could ever put into words.
Then a portion of that, just a portion, filters through to our conscious mind. It’s the conscious mind that then has the job of putting it into language. It takes those impressions, feelings and images and tries to explain them. It interprets.
That’s the point where things can get muddy. Not because spirit isn’t clear, but because our minds are busy, full of our own thoughts, our own words and our own assumptions.
Why knowing our own soul matters
This is why I’m more and more sure of one thing. The more aware we are of our own soul, the easier it is to recognise what flows to us on a soul level.
If I know my own soul, I know what’s mine. I know how my own energy feels. So when something comes that isn’t mine, I notice it. I can feel the difference. I’m not translating from far away anymore; I’m receiving it from close up, at the level where it was actually given.
When we only live in the conscious mind, we’re always trying to catch spirit from a distance. When we live a little more in the soul, we meet them where they are.
How can we help them?
If all this is anywhere near true, then there are things we can do to make their job easier.
We can be still. A quiet mind is a clearer window.
We can trust the first impression, because it’s often the purest part of what came through, before our thinking got hold of it.
We can resist the urge to grab, to push, or to decorate the message. Our job is to give back what’s given, as faithfully as we can.
We can keep our own side tidy, through meditation, through knowing ourselves, and through working on our own soul so there’s less of our own clutter in the way.
And we can be grateful. I really believe they put so much into these moments. A little gratitude for the effort they make feels right to me.
A wonderful thing to wonder about
I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t think I ever will. But when I stop and think about what it might be like for them, the effort, the love and the patience it must take, it changes how I sit. I’m a little more gentle, a little more open, and a little more willing to get out of the way.
Maybe that’s the point. Mediumship was never just about us reaching them. It’s about meeting each other halfway, soul to soul.
What must it be like for them? I’ll keep wondering. And I hope you will too.
