14/08/2026
Many of the patterns we judge most harshly in ourselves— like avoidance, perfectionism, people-pleasing, emotional numbing, and behaviors that seem self-defeating or contribute to addiction—began as survival strategies.
When we understand these patterns in ourselves or others only as self-sabotage, we often respond with more judgment, frustration, or shame.
NARM invites a different kind of inquiry into what's long been referred to as "self-sabotage." Rather than asking, "What's wrong with me?" we become curious about what these patterns were originally trying to do for us. What looks on the surface like self-sabotage usually turns out to be an old form of self-protection that has simply outlived its usefulness.
Shifting from judging the behavior to becoming curious about what it's trying to accomplish creates just enough space to relate to it differently. And it's often within that space that meaningful change becomes possible.
We'd love to hear your perspective on this. 💭 Comment below with what you've experienced when you shift from judging yourself to becoming curious about yourself.
