10/21/2026
A few days ago I posted a clip of D.L. Hughley talking about whether men are actually happy.
I expected people to relate to it.
I did NOT expect the response we got.
Thousands of people watched it, but what stayed with me were the comments from men saying some version of the same thing:
Nobody really asks us.
As long as we’re working, providing, taking care of our families, handling problems and doing what people expect us to do, everybody assumes we’re okay.
Then I watched this conversation between Ryan Clark and BigXthaPlug on The Pivot.
Ryan asks him a simple question:
“How are you doing?”
And when BigX really starts answering, the conversation goes somewhere much deeper. He talks about being alone, spending money trying to feel something, crying in the shower, getting high, therapy and trying to find peace even while experiencing success most people dream about.
I’m not diagnosing him. I’m listening to what this man said about his own life.
And after watching this and then reading what so many men wrote under the D.L. Hughley video, I think there is a much larger conversation sitting right in front of us.
A lot of men know what it feels like to be needed.
That does not necessarily mean they feel cared for.
So I hope D.L. Hughley keeps having these conversations. I hope Ryan Clark and The Pivot keep asking men questions like this. And I hope people like Dr. Jay Barnett and organizations like Kappa Alpha Psi and Omega Psi Phi continue creating spaces where men can have these conversations without feeling like they have to perform strength every second of the day.
And if there is anything Minority Health Partners can do to help facilitate, amplify or create more of these conversations, I’m willing to help.
I don’t have the reach some of these men and organizations have. But I have a platform, I have a community that is clearly responding to this, and I believe this conversation is worth continuing.
So let me ask again.
Men, how are you doing?
Not work. Not the kids. Not the bills. Not what everybody else needs from you.
How are YOU doing?
For real.
Original conversation: The Pivot Podcast