Take Back My Life

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Take Back My Life Musings, raw refections, advocacy, healing and examining according to my moral compass My name is Briana Beaver, and I'm taking back my life!

I have been overcoming extreme and extraordinary obstacles since my birth. An hour after I was born, I died. I was resuscitated, but the event left me with permanent brain damage, resulting in Cerebral Palsy. When I was 9 years old, I mysteriously started to experience health problems that included gastrointestinal, pulmonary, metabolic, and neurological symptoms. But I never let this stop me. I pursued my passions, and did my best to live a normal life. I graduated high school in 3 years, and in 2011 I graduated from Chico State, Summa Cum Laude, with a degree in Sociology. It was then that my health became even worse. The pain became horrifically intense. I had extreme sensory overload, so that every stimulus - sight, sound, and smell - everything caused pain. I was so mysteriously debilitated that I was unable to eat or drink. By summer 2012 I was in Stanford Hospital, wasted away to 75 lbs. The pain was so torturous that I welcomed the thought of death. In December of 2014, my medical mystery was finally given a name: Lyme Disease. Since then, I have undergone an extremely expensive battery of treatments, none of which are covered by insurance. I have improved, but I’m still incredibly medically fragile. I’m currently unable to read for more than 10 minutes at a time, and can’t use a computer or TV for any length at all. I had to dictate this message because I’m unable to write it myself. However, I desperately needed to share how deeply I’m committed to moving forward. It’s time for me to FINALLY take back my life! My family is organizing the Take Back My Life campaign to help pay for the extremely expensive treatments Briana direly needs, but isn’t covered by insurance. For more information on Briana’s journey to health, and to donate toward her treatment, visit:

http://gofund.me/pvpq2k

To better understand the devastating and debilitating symptoms of Lyme Disease, please visit www.lymedisease.org/

You know those thoughts that shake you out of sleep at 2 AM?Well, then there are the other kind that are already keeping...
10/22/2026

You know those thoughts that shake you out of sleep at 2 AM?

Well, then there are the other kind that are already keeping you awake during the wee hours of pre-dawn.

Although I was vaguely aware that I had spent the last year+ attempting to cultivate one-on-one relationships with ER doctors at my local hospital to help not only to share about CC, but also to help myself, struck me hard. One by one, I’ve gently been pushing my fingers to the pulse of a handful of ER doctors to become more human to them.

My semiconscious idea was that if I could share CC with them as a collaborative resource, something intended to help connect providers and patients, maybe, just maybe they would recognize me as more than a chronic occupant of their tiny rooms. Maybe, I could be somebody they could get to know as a person and and vice versa. Maybe building rapport outside of a medical environment could translate to me feeling a little safer inside the medical environment.

That’s a lot of maybes, right?

I had a rude awakening last week that this bread trail of maybe I’ve been stringing myself along just got gobbled up. Honestly, I’ve spent the last week sitting in a corner of self-pity and frustration, feeling like the bridge I’ve been trying to build between providers and patients, just got burned to soot.

“To hell with Care Cards!” I threaten nobody but myself. But I only mean it a little bit.

I suddenly feel embarrassingly, ashamedly naïve for thinking I could befriend people who have made me feel like the enemy with tiny pieces of paper and a passionate vision.

But I also feel proud.

What does it say about the state of healthcare when a patient feels she must take time to personally cultivate relationships with doctors outside of the hospital in order to be treated with dignity inside the hospital?

What kind of burden does the status quo place upon patients to go to such effort to simply be treated with respect in medicine?

What does it mean when these efforts to genuinely build human connection and community are quashed?

It means you’re shaking the bedrock that the infrastructure of inequity stands upon.

It means you’re on the right path.

A visit to Shalom Free Clinic was exactly what my weary heart and frazzled nerves needed! Always delighted to see me, th...
10/18/2026

A visit to Shalom Free Clinic was exactly what my weary heart and frazzled nerves needed! Always delighted to see me, the ED Nancy met me with a big smile and a hug. Upon producing a new Care Card specified to the Clinic, her eyes filled with tears and gratitude. Moments later I was surrounded with other smiling faces, volunteers and nurses, as well as Dr. Logan— all of whom share what often feels like a rare, authentic motivation to help others by meeting them where they are.

When I told Nancy that visiting them is like my therapy, she tossed back her head with delight and pulled me into another hug.

ALSO! They have Care Cards featured in their window, with available stacks at the check-in desk.

10/18/2026

What would it take for doctors to give up some of their power?

At the core of then dehumanization I’ve often witnessed and heard recounted from others within healthcare, is a significant gap in power between the doctor and the patient. This inequity essentially creates the understanding that the structure of medicine results in the healthcare facility and the doctor having absolute power while the patient has little.

Because this power dynamic has become normative, I think it becomes perceived as a taken-for-granted fact, not a pattern that can or should be changed. If one patient exercises more leadership within his/her/their healthcare decisions and proactively asserts needs and desires, this is often met with hostility instead of appreciation.

In order for a patient to authentically communicate and build relationships with providers that are helpful, I believe the overwhelming belief that the doctor is superior and the patient is subjugated, must change.

So, what would it take for doctors to give up some of their power?

I believe much of the programming around this concept comes from the lack of diversity of subjects taught in medical school. Because it is so heavily based on science, I think students miss out on learning about emotional connectivity, communication skills, social sciences and other humanities topics that would create better rounded perceptions and increase the emotional maturity and intrapersonal skillset of providers.

What do you think?

MOOD.I won’t pretend to understand the resistance and hostility that often results from attempting to ensure equality fo...
10/17/2026

MOOD.

I won’t pretend to understand the resistance and hostility that often results from attempting to ensure equality for all, but I won’t be distracted or detoured.

FORWARD.

Introducing the S*x & Disability Conversation Starters Care Card.For Anyone & Everyone.Real people. Real conversations. ...
10/15/2026

Introducing the S*x & Disability Conversation Starters Care Card.

For Anyone & Everyone.
Real people. Real conversations. Same human needs.

S*xuality, intimacy, relationships, desire, boundaries, and pleasure are part of being human — but these conversations are often overlooked when someone has a disability or exceptional abilities.

The S*x & Disability Care Card is designed to make those conversations easier to start.
Instead of relying on assumptions, the card creates an opening for people to talk about what actually matters to them.

WHO IS THIS CARD FOR?

Anyone & Everyone.
This card can be used by:
• Individuals• Couples and partners •Friends and family • Healthcare providers •Therapists and counselors •Caregivers and support people • S*xual health professionals •Educators and advocates

WHAT'S ON THE CARDS

Conversation starters explore topics such as:

• S*xual health and support, physical, sensory, and positioning needs •Dating and relationships •Contraception, fertility, and pregnancy •Body awareness and sexual function • Safety, comfort, and boundaries •How someone would like to be supported

The goal isn't to tell someone what their needs should be.
It's to create space for them to tell you.

WHY CARE CARDS?

Care Cards are simple physical conversation tools designed to encourage better communication and human connection.

Handing someone a card creates a natural invitation to talk — without requiring a long form, questionnaire, or awkward opening.
Little cards. Big ripple of love.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF CONVERSATION

Disability doesn't erase sexuality.
People experience attraction, desire, intimacy, relationships, pleasure, questions, uncertainty, and the desire to be seen as a whole person.
And these conversations aren't only about disability.
They're about being human.
This card simply helps open the door.

Link in comments!

I made it! After years of wanting to venture out to the Farmers’ Market, today I did! The autumnal season was a delightf...
10/14/2026

I made it! After years of wanting to venture out to the Farmers’ Market, today I did! The autumnal season was a delightful time to peep some seasonal produce boasting a beautiful feast of color for my favorite time of year.

Happy Birthday Mom! May your day be as badass as you are!
10/12/2026

Happy Birthday Mom! May your day be as badass as you are!

This is the exhausted, happy and contented smile of a woman who got invited to a birthday party for the FIRST time since...
10/10/2026

This is the exhausted, happy and contented smile of a woman who got invited to a birthday party for the FIRST time since college and WENT!

What are the chances that I plop myself down on a cushy outdoor patio chair and end up surrounded by people who immediately become my new friends? This first truly autumnal day was accompanied by the kind of instantaneous camaraderie I haven’t experienced for decades.

“I think I know you.“ The woman seated to my right says after listening to me chat with her husband about a shared interest in writing and the best publication options.

I doubt it, I think. I haven’t crawled out of my cave for the past 13 years.

“Did you do a research project about sexuality and disability or something in college?”

This opens the floodgates for me to launch into my passion for my research, the story behind Care Cards and eventually, the unlikely revealing that not only is she the chair of the English department at our local community college, but she also is the mother of her daughter with a disability.

She seems to look at me with the kind of respect that I almost never experience in the company of a stranger.

“Am I the first person to suggest that you get a PhD?” she asks after listening to me prattle on that my research is unusual because it’s not about disability as a medical diagnosis, it’s about the social model and perception.

I tell her she’s not and she seems to have the unusual combination of intellectualism and personal experience with raging a war against the system in order for her daughter to be seen as fully human, so she doesn’t say more about this

She does say more, however, about the challenges her daughter is experiencing in receiving appropriate accommodations in college and if this doesn’t parlay into instantaneous friendship, I don’t know what could.

I spend the next TWO HOURS engaged in the kind of scintillating conversation with not only this woman and her husband, but a handful of others who seem magically also to have the ability to connect to me, with me effortlessly.

Exhausted, out of breath and in need of food and rest, I literally have to tear myself away from this party. But, not before exchanging contact info with my new friends..

Nobody is more surprised than me to realize that this feels like my birthday party, too.

Address

1010 Mangrove Ave Ste D Chico, California 95926
Chico, CA

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