10/01/2026
Maybe it’s time we stop teaching people how to avoid being r**ed—and start teaching people not to r**e.
This meme has been circulating for years, and its message is simple: turn the conversation around.
Instead of asking potential victims what they could have done differently, let’s talk about the choices made by the person committing the assault.
Don’t drug someone’s drink.
Don’t take advantage of someone who is intoxicated or unconscious.
Don’t mistake flirting for consent.
Don’t interpret someone’s clothing as an invitation.
Don’t assume you’re entitled to someone’s body.
And if you see someone in a vulnerable situation, be the person who intervenes—not the person who takes advantage.
With the recent national attention surrounding allegations of sexual assault involving a former Cornell student, conversations about consent, accountability, and bystander intervention are once again happening publicly.
Those conversations matter.
Because sexual assault isn’t caused by what someone wore, how much they drank, where they went, who they went home with, or whether they fought back.
The responsibility for sexual assault belongs to the person who commits it.
And when someone tells us they’ve been assaulted, perhaps our first questions shouldn’t be:
Why were you there?
Why did you drink?
Why didn’t you leave?
They should be:
“Are you safe?”
“I believe you.”
“How can I help?”
At SAFE Center of Iowa, we believe education is part of prevention—and consent, accountability, and bystander intervention belong in that conversation.
The person responsible for sexual assault is the person who commits it.
