Patient Relaxation, LLC

09/20/2026

CROSSOVER POST? WHY NOT?

You probably know that our fearless leader, Kate, doesn't have nearly enough to do. Which is why she and her wretched brother have published four books, and released the first as an audiobook.

In all of her spare time.

To everybody's surprise (or at least Kate's surprise), it rose to the top of the charts at Chirp, a major distributor.

Like, WAY up. We're at 14 out of 6961.
The top 0.002133821086, which is the top 2/10 of 1%.

But we're still behind James Faulkner. Stupid, dead Faulkner.
Whatever.

But today is the last day of the initial launch sale, where you can listen to our silly nonsense for $0.99.
https://www.chirpbooks.com/audiobooks/the-ghouls-farmstand-by-sultana-dietrich-and-fitzwilliam-quilliams

09/15/2026

Kate here.
I DID IT!
I am Patient Relaxation's newest Manual Lymph Drainage Therapist.

Thank heavens. It was a LONG class. I am now uncomfortably familiar with the inner workings of the fluids of the body. While I may not be performing MLD on its own yet, I will be incorporating my new techniques and knowledge into my massages -- and, more to the point-- I will be using this when I teach my new Foundations of Oncology Massage classes. Stephanie Walter will be my assistant teacher, and she is almost done with her own radiation treatments from her personal journey with cancer.

We had planned on teaching our inaugural course in November, but I feel she should get some more rest, and heal more gently before we do that.

The Patient Relaxation Foundations of Oncology Massage Therapy training program will begin in 2027. This is a profound, giant development for us. We have gotten approval of our course through the National Certification Board of Therapeutic Body Work (NCBTMB), and are almost done with our certification through the Society of Oncology Massage. Stephanie and I are already Preferred Providers through S4OM.

Now, I'm going to watch some mindless TV and rest before onboarding our NEW MASSAGE THERAPIST tomorrow!
(I'll tell you all about her soon.)

09/10/2026

Day 3 of manual lymphatic drainage training.
Kentucky is HOT. HUMID. Full of Kentuckians. Kentuckyers?
Kentuckypudlians.

09/09/2026

Your girl Kate has now heard the word 'lymph' so many times it doesn't sound like a word anymore.
Lymph.
Lymmmph.
Lymf.

09/09/2026

Day 2 of my lymph drainage course in Kentucky. Holy cats, it's HOT down here.

09/08/2026

Kate here! Up bright and early for the first day of my manual lymphatic drainage course in Kentucky!

09/06/2026

☯️Your massage this week:

Kate here. I'm headed out of town soon. "WHY, KATE? WHY ARE YOU GOING OUT OF TOWN?" (that was you, in case you were wondering)

08/18/2026

There's a new painting in the office!

08/16/2026

"So, do you actually have to go to school for massage?"

Yes. Yes we do. And each one of us at Patient Relaxation participates in extensive additional training.
We have people who specialize in:
Pediatrics, chronic pain, hospital-based massage, oncology, PTSD/trauma, lymphatic drainage, and much more.

08/16/2026

Feeling the weight of everyday tension? At Patient Relaxation we offer thoughtful, personalized massage to help your body and mind settle. Book a calm, compassionate session tailored to what you carry. https://wix.to/VtfVSbY 🌿💆‍♀️ Take a moment - how do you unwind after a busy day?