06/06/2026
I support the right to birth unassisted.
Actually, let me clarify: I support the rights of fully informed, autonomous, grown women to give birth wherever the hell they want to.
Whew, okay…I said it.
What I’m actually NOT in favor of however is the rising instagram-filtered-picturesque version of freebirth where “birthkeepers” or doulas are claiming advanced experience and giving women a false sense of security.
🚩 They are teaching themselves just enough skills to be misleading to the women who hire them…and simply put, they are practicing midwifery without a license.
It’s not an unassisted birth if you’ve hired someone to be your backup plan in an emergency. (I said what I said. 😏)
The truth is, women’s bodies were built to give birth. And yes, the vast majority of my clients can deliver just fine without me even being there! Fear mongering or creating the narrative that birth is inherently dangerous is unfair. (and also false)
But it is also unfair to the small percentage of women that do need extra help, to be tricked into believing there is a trained, safe and experienced helper in their space.
Let me say it again: I am not against your free will to choose unassisted birth.
I have a friend and former client who has free birthed her last few babies! And just today I watched a video of a midwife who planned her unassisted breech birth. I watched that video three times because it was just so damn powerful.
The difference is…they were both fully informed decision makers.
That comes in stark contrast to the lovely woman I met in line at Target who flippantly told me she is planning a free birth, and that her “doula has all the same training as a midwife anyway”.
That rhetoric is misleading and dangerous. And it is most certainly not informed consent and decision making.
A good midwife knows when to sit on her hands while holding space, and when to use those hands to guide the family back towards safety.
My eyes and hands are trained to gently intervene or support only when necessary.
To quietly monitor bleeding while mama snuggles her naked baby against her breast in the dim light of her bedside lamp. And to softly reassure dads if they seem on edge with an unexpected gush of blood as the placenta is birthed.
My hands know the feel of a uterus that is too exhausted and boggy to contract and stop a hemorrhage. Having skills and tools available to me that have on occasion made the difference between mama staying home, snuggled with her baby…and transferring to the hospital because she cannot sit up without fainting.
My hands have been trained to help free a shoulder for a baby who was stuck, despite her mama’s incredible ability to push and move and use all her might.
It took mama’s power, both of my hands, and all of the strength I had left in my body that day to get baby W out and breathing.
Within seconds, my hands and eyes and ears were working in tandem to make assessments, inflate her lungs and ensure her heartbeat was strong. All while connected to her pulsing umbilical cord and close to her mama.
I share these moments not to make myself out to be a savior or miracle worker or rescuer…because I am none of those things.
I’ve just been trained to notice the difference between normal, uninterrupted physiological birth…and a mama and baby that need support.
And then to use my training to provide the care they need.
I am simply, a guardian of normal.
Photo Credit:
***I’ll write another post some day that shares how the birthkeeper hospital transfers are slowly chipping away at the progress that has been made in creating safer/collaborative hospital birthing environments. About Doctors who are led to believe said transfer was a midwife-attended birth, and then scratching their heads wondering how a midwife missed a deeply infected perineal tear or struggling baby. 😭
