Kirasupdates

09/26/2026

81st 25h - thought it was appropriate to give a little rundown of the day. Chris, Zane, Christian and I had plans to fly to Santa Fe today for the w**e and chili fiesta to meet up with Ryan, Trapper and Aubrey (becoming a bit of a family reunion of sorts) but we missed our flight in San Diego to LAX so we packed up the car, flung ourselves together and sped to LAX via car and drove to Los Angeles from San Diego and made our 2nd flight up ABQ from LA.

We made it. A couple of things to note… the only reason my car was at the airport was because I was leaving my parking space at home in San Diego for the gentle couple who is staying there and watching Olive while we were out of town. So, kinda dumb luck as I never park at the airport. But it worked in this situation.

As we were driving, I said numerous times - today is the 25th … I know we still had a day ahead of us as it was going to be close on whether we made it to LAX in time - if you understand Friday traffic between San Diego and LA, you’ll get it…. So I played mine and Kira’s playlist the whole way there ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️

We made it in time, I dropped Zane, Chris and Christian off at the curb and then went to find a place to park at the 2nd airport of the day - I dropped them off because I have Clear and TSA precheck and I knew I could get through security faster than any of them…. So we all scattered. We found each other eventually at the gate and made it to ALQ unscathed.

However, the car that we had rented was not available - my bad, I think for putting in the wrong date - but there were no cars available at ANY rental place because of the balloon festival and the w**e and chili fiesta. After multiple failed attempts of getting Ubers to pick us up and not cancel immediately when we were trying to get from Albuquerque to Santa Fe - I finally got one to do it and I zelled him an extra tip.

We had the best time with many of my favorite people. Ryan, Trapper, Aubrey, Zane, Chris, Christian… at Tomasita’s - which if you’ve never been and you are ever headed to Santa Fe - it’s an experience and the food is insane…

I say ‘some’ of my favorite people because simultaneously, my sweet aunt Denise is in Croatia with my favorite persons Nikola. They are touring around and he is taking them around to beautiful places and will ultimately take her to the house on Ugljan where she has never been but has followed my journey with it for the past few years. This is a really big, big deal. I know I haven’t gone into a lot of detail about this place because it’s not done yet - lots of lessons. And it is homage to Kira and is called La Luz (which for a while was her handle on Instagram).

Another just kinda funny note, I was in Arizona while Denise was in San Diego. We had planned to connect 2 weeks ago and my life turned upside down so I ended back up in AZ for a couple of weeks. We did cross paths for one night in AZ for dinner which was lovely and always a reset I think for both of us.

Now we are in Santa Fe - where Denise also lives and we missed her by one day before she left for Croatia…. I’m sad we missed her but soooo glad she’s in Croatia with Nikola.

It’s just funny how things work out and all the sliding doors and synchronous moments.

I started this message last night but was so completely wiped out that it started to become gibberish so I thought it would be ok to finish it this morning.

And here I am - in the silence of the morning - remembering my girl Kira and think how hysterical this all has been. She would love this.

I know some of you have this but I’ll post it again - it’s the playlist Kira and I made for each other so we could always for close and connected even if we were apart. It was the soundtrack to yesterday, the 25th….

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/67O8FsBWgXm2eTLsg0cjj1?si=vTnDw6mxSF-KCuKGlWrI5Q&utm_source=copy-link&pi=wrwAfDPNQveAR

I wish so much that she were here for all of this… but quite honestly, she was and will continue to be throughout this journey…. There’s a Frida painting that my cousins sent me a couple of days ago that I’m going to try to figure out how to get and ultimately put in the Croatia house. My finances are not what they have been so we’ll see - but it’s perfect.

Also…. There was a beautiful rainbow that we all got to see…. She’s here ❤️❤️❤️

Miss my girl…





I hope everyone enjoyed this day and all days…. I think I said 15 times yesterday…. It’s all part of the journey.

And it is.

❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️

09/09/2026

Happy 25th birthday to my babiest girl… 25 years ago is really hard to believe… it’s funny - not funny - because Zane seems so much older - always has - but when Kira’s birthday rolls around, I realize (again) how close they are in age… not like I ever forgot… just a reminder. Had a fun night with zane and friends tonight… had some Chick-fil-A and a waaaaay toooo sweet cake. But we lit candles and sang and hung out as per usual on Kira’s birthday - and lots of other occasions. I miss Kira so much. I sent a message to Robert this morning about the cake I got her and he said ‘she’s old! She needs to get a job and take care of her mom!’ - I laughed and responded ‘she would’ - I don’t think there’s anything she wouldn’t do…. And I will never really have to know for sure because she is always perfect in my mind. Miss her like crazy.





❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️

08/26/2026

80th 25th… random things that have happened this month…

- Told Kira’s entire story to my building manager

- it was my dad’s birthday on the 17th…. I realize I’m 6 years younger now than he was when he passed… go cowboys.

- today is Serra’s bday ❤️❤️❤️

- i ended up in urgent care this morning getting X-rays - I’m ok. But my boss did loan me a cane.

- dolly passed today ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️

- i dreamt that i was incapacitated a few days ago and i was trying to determine what letters to write should my hands be weak so that those close to me would go ahead and let me die… came up with FMLLOL… a couple people now know what any version of that means.

- many, many people have told me they have felt kira ‘around’ a lot

- told a complete stranger on one of many planes all about Kira - she was sitting there next to me with her daughter who was obviously struggling with some sickness - she was taking selfies with her… so I introduced myself and started showing her my selfies with Kira on planes

- there was a fire in my building and I had to do serious acrobatics to get Olive out (she’s fine) but the only thing I was stressing about while sitting outside with the fire trucks blaring everywhere is that I didn’t grab Kira’s ashes

- I spent hours and hours staying up way too late trying not to be skeptical about where the world is headed with my sweet Sonya

- I am in Milwaukee for the 3rd time this month and have a new reverence for the pavement

Oh… and this…. I accidentally stumbled upon an audio recording of Kira crying and begging to just let her die 5 days before she actually did…. I had never heard it before. And I certainly wasn’t looking for it…

Gutted.

Just gutted.

I would have walked to the water today… if I could walk…

But all in all, things are good. I’m the most tired than I can remember being. Had a really good conversation with my guy the other day and it all just came pouring out - not the first time that’s happened - just the most recent… should probably find a new therapist that I haven’t already told what’s wrong with me 🙂

Miss my girl.

Hope all is well… love and hugs ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟

08/19/2026

I miss my girl hard today… nothing momentous… no anniversary… my chest feels empty… and I miss my girl…. ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟

07/26/2026

79th 25th… I had a dream 2 nights ago that it was the 25th and I was on the side of a hill of some unfamiliar planet trying to figure out how to do my Kira ritual… the dream seemed to last forever. I was determined to make it happen… but I couldn’t find a flat surface or anything to help me create the heart, the K and the month number… I was climbing all over this hill and it was very rocky… I thought for sure I could find something to put it together… but everything I picked up just wouldn’t work or it crumbled in my hands or was too heavy or wasn’t the right shape…. I was cutting my fingers and slipping and falling and skinning my knees…. The sun was going down and in this dream, that was like an hourglass - once there was no light, it would be too late… and I felt panicked. I kept looking around and trying so hard to figure it out… but I couldn’t… it was like my brain stopped working… and then I woke up… there was no ending to the dream - it just stopped.

After I don’t know how many hours traveling yesterday and delayed flights and airplane mechanical failures and sitting on the runway, then returning to the gate, sitting more and deplaning and walking 50 gates to sit more and finally board a different plane, I eventually got home at 2:30am. I had planned to go to La Jolla today, but the day just started slipping away and I’m wiped.

I found things tonight to do my ritual…

Miss my girl so very, very much.

❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟

06/26/2026

78th 25th ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️

girls eating Wendy's for dinner. Very cute and funny.

05/25/2026

77th 25th…. There is something very special about this video… we were both listening and sharing the experience simultaneously…. I was impressed that she loved this song… but it was along with her friend, Charlie Poole, that she was experiencing this little trip down a music lane that she wasn’t exactly born on… I love this moment so much. We shared so much plane time. I supposed it’s no surprise that I’m on a plane today, May 25, thinking of my girl as I often do when I’m on a plane. We flew so much during her treatment. Even the week before she was diagnosed, we were on a plane to Wisconsin for my sister’s wedding - which is where I’m headed now - for work… years later… I went to see the Michael movie last weekend - which I have opinions about and didn’t know what to expect when I went. I grew up with the Jackson 5 and with Michael Jackson and all the things that went along with that - verses people who may just be being introduced to that whole sh*tshow now - no offense. But I love this moment either way with my girl…. Another 25th… half the people in my life don’t even know what this is about anymore. Strange world. But I know… I know exactly what the 25th is to me… I treasure those who have been with me on this journey and those who are just learning a still loving deeply. Thank you always to all of you… forever and always ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟

04/25/2026

76th 25th… so I sold my place in La Jolla - where I lived for the last 7 years… where Kira said she was going to heal, where I experienced the EMTs carry her out on a gurney in one of the scariest days of my life… where I sat in solitude during Covid right after Kira’s passing… where I have cried the hardest tears I’ve ever cried…. Soul shattering despair where I don’t think I could feel closer to the ground without sinking straight to the middle of the earth. I moved from La Jolla to Little Italy in San Diego… a 2bdrm / 2 bath to pretty much an efficiency. I left my job of 12 years and am now the CEO of a law firm in Milwaukee. This all happened in less than 6 weeks. A lot of change. I love where I live - I love the new opportunity I have been given work-wise - I never thought I’d start over professionally… but here I am and I’m intimidated, feel a little imposter syndrome and live in a completely different place. I’m not even that far from where I used to live - but it feels like a plane ride away. Everything is different. Today, I went out for a walk (which is a great thing about Little Italy) and there was an art walk. There were so many beautiful things on display. I love art - I have way more art than I have wall space - hands down…. A whole quarter of my living room is filled with art where I have no idea where it will land… some I just love, some from Zane, some from Sonya, some from other friends or family. But, I came across an artist today from Mexico who had a peice that I loved - it’s Frida. Of course it is the 25th. And it’s not paint. It’s not sketch… it’s straw art… which I have never seen before. I met Edgar - the artist. The technique is very meticulous and really incredible. I don’t know where it will end up. But, it’s mine now and it’s perfect. I don’t know how these 25ths will be now that I don’t live near the beach - although I do live near the port… so, there’s water. So much change in so little time and yet… it’s all the same really. Love and hugs to you all… thank you as always for your continued support and encouragement. This is a time of change and adjustment… all in the right direction. I’m eternally grateful for this journey and the lessons along with it.

❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️

03/26/2026

75th 25th… Kira has always reminded me of Frida… those forever eyes, their beastmode grit, love of art, their determination through struggle, those brows! their style, their similar life’s journeys, their natural magnetism and intense impact on so many who knew them and those who didn’t… and just sassy, sassy, sassy… I have Frida art and portraits through my house because, well, they’re beautiful and they just are a vibe I love…. Today, I was out and of course there was a woman with a giant Frida tattoo on her arm… of course there was ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️

Miss my girl…

03/08/2026

Just cause I was browsing through old photos/videos… ❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️🤟❤️