10/05/2026
What you see here is the Instagram version of what our relationship looks like.
But what you don’t see are all the challenges, grief, tears, avoidance, anxiousness, addiction, codependence, anger, frustration, arguments, etc.
When I saw pictures like this of couples in the past, I used to think that there was something wrong with my relationship because it didn’t always look happy, joyful, or picture perfect.
What I had to learn the hard way after my divorce was that relationships aren’t always easy and that doesn’t mean that you are in the wrong one. What it means is that you maybe haven’t used all the heartache to catapult you into a growth journey yet.
In my second marriage, I was starting to notice a lot of the same issues that I had in my first and I thought a second divorce was inevitable. Thankfully, I discovered some really great mentors, Laura Doyle and Alison Armstrong, who challenged me to take my marriage struggles and focus on changing myself so that I could change my relationship.
And sure enough, even though it was really hard at times, and I definitely am not perfect at it, I started using their concepts and skills. Almost two years later, I have completely transformed my second marriage into something so much more blissful than I could’ve ever imagined a marriage could be.
It’s still far from perfect, we’re both human and we have our struggles, but I no longer have the codependence that I did before and therefore I’m not constantly on the roller coaster that I used to be on where my emotions were dictated by what he was doing.
Now I know that I’m responsible for my emotions and I have so many great tools to use. And most importantly, I know how to work through my emotions in my body, not just in my head.
If you wanna join me to learn more about Alison Armstrong‘s The Queen’s Code, we’re starting a guided book study this Sunday and I have a few more spots left. Comment below for more info.
And we’ll be working through Laura Doyle’s The Empowered Wife starting in January, stay tuned for that!
