09/27/2026
I’ve never spoken publicly about the specific details of my divorce. Social media has never felt like the place for me to process something so personal, and above everything else, I’ve always wanted to protect my privacy and my son’s.
It taught me some painful lessons about betrayal, about who is really in your corner, and about letting go of the need to control how other people see you. The people pleaser in me had to learn to be okay with being the villain in others’ stories. I don’t have to defend myself or convince anyone. The truth has a way of coming out, and by the time it does, I’d rather have moved on and healed.
For a long time, I shut myself off from ever getting married again. I became hyper-independent because relying on myself felt safer. In the past, when I did depend on someone, it backfired on me, so I learned to need as little from anyone as possible. Loving someone again has challenged that. I’ve had to learn that I can let someone love me, help me, and show up for me without losing myself in the process.
I’ve also had to unlearn the belief that I’m somehow bad inside. I’m not perfect. I’ve had to look at myself, take accountability, reflect, and change. Relationships have a way of holding up a mirror to your fears and insecurities and asking you to grow.
As I step into marriage again, I’ve been reflecting on just how much has changed. I’m not the same woman I was the first time, and I think that’s the point.
And if you’re there right now, I promise you, something so much better can be coming. As Mary Oliver wrote, “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”