10/29/2026
There is a profound, exhausting pain in belonging to a generation that is left to break the cycles that the previous generation refuses to acknowledge.
It hurts to try and have honest conversations about the trauma passed down to you, only to have it turned around. To consistently be told that you are the reason for your own pain. To hear, "You're an adult now, just deal with it," while you are simultaneously left carrying the heavy, unprocessed fragments of their unhealed past.
All I ever wanted was for us to heal together. I reached out for a shared peace, but it feels like every other road was chosen instead of accountability.
The hardest part is the double standard. The moment you decide to protect your energy and choose your own stability, the narrative shifts. Suddenly, because you aren't physically present in the chaos, it’s twisted into "you don't care."
Weaponizing your love for your siblings or your absence from family circles just because you refuse to constantly re-expose your nervous system to environments that broke you in the first place.
I’ve never pointed fingers or said anyone was wrong. I simply started paying attention to how certain people made my nervous system feel.
The heartbreaking truth is that some of the closest people to me were the exact ones who disrupted my peace the most. Just a single link-up would leave my body in such a state of panic and dysregulation that it would literally take me days, sometimes months, to fully reset and feel normal again.
I had to finally sit down with myself and recognize how much of my own life, energy, and sanity I was sacrificing just to keep a toxic peace.
If you find yourself in a place like this, please know that it’s okay to go through the intense pain of letting go. It is a completely natural response.
Your nervous system goes into shock because the safety you have craved for so long is simply not there in the way you need it to be—and accepting that reality is devastating, but it’s okay.
You have to love yourself enough to hold your ground. The people who are truly supposed to be in your life will eventually find you. But you must do the internal work first. Because if you don't heal, your unmanaged trauma and hypervigilance can easily cause you to push away the very people who were sent to love, support, and help save you.
Luckily, God has given me a few opportunities to get this thing called life right. I'm still praying in some realms, but I am doing the work. 🙏🏾
Choosing not to revisit the places and people that cause you pain isn't a lack of love. It’s survival.
It’s recognizing that you spent a lifetime feeling like everything was your fault, and finally choosing to understand your own mind, your own triggers, and your own healing.
And the truth is, every single time I step away, I find a deeper version of myself. I love myself a little more, and I feel like I make an even greater impact. For so long, when I reached these new levels of growth, I wanted certain people to give me validation. I wanted them to finally see me, understand me, or say they were proud.
No more.
I’m completely done waiting for permission to be whole. I am living strictly for my own happiness and peace. And lately, I’ve been understanding a beautiful truth: when I am solid in that realm, I naturally make the ones I truly love comfortable in being the best versions of themselves, too. My peace gives them permission to find theirs. You cannot force someone to heal with you, but you can refuse to let them keep pulling you back into the storm.
