08/05/2026
'Twas the Night Before the First Day of School
'Twas the night before the first day of school,
And the house wasn't peaceful...who are we kidding? That ain't the rule.
The backpacks were packed with supplies and some snacks,
While somebody was still looking for one missing Croc in the back.
The children lay dreami
ng, not counting sheep in their beds,
But wondering, "Is my fit gonna EAT?" running through their heads.
"Should I wear the Jordans? The Crocs? The hoodie? The chain?
Am I about to be best dressed...or roasted before first period again?"
They dreamed of old friends they'd hug in the hall,
And new friends they'd meet who'd become family by fall.
Then came the biggest question, whispered with fear:
"Did I get the good teacher...or the one everybody warned me about last year?"
Meanwhile, teachers were somewhere pretending to sleep,
Mourning the summer they were trying so hard to keep.
Nine weeks? Nope. Nine MONTHS.
Welcome back to educational co-parenting...where your babies become our babies from 8 to 3.
We'll teach the math, the reading, the science, and art...
But please send them with pencils...and a listening heart.
And parents...oh parents...we know your plan.
Tomorrow morning that car line is gonna look like NASCAR, ma'am!
Doors will fly open before the tires stop rolling.
"Love you! Have a great day!"
Click.
Zoom.
Mission accomplished.
Y'all been feeding these kids every 17 minutes all summer long.
The grocery bill has been fighting for its life.
Tomorrow, peace returns.
No one's asking for snacks every 12 seconds.
No one's yelling, "I'm bored!"
And no one's eating the food you JUST bought yesterday.
As for me...
I loved every minute of summer.
The naps.
The peace.
The "I don't know what day it is" lifestyle.
It was beautiful.
But tomorrow...
The pencils are sharpened.
The lesson plans are ready(ish).
The coffee is on standby.
And I'm ready to meet my newest group of tiny humans.
So here's to fresh notebooks,
Fresh starts,
Fresh opportunities,
And enough patience to make it to Labor Day.
Happy First Day of School!
May your coffee be strong, your Wi-Fi be working, your teacher be amazing, your outfit be undefeated, and your car line move just a little faster than last year.