Allesanda Tolomei-Hard

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Napa, CA
Allesanda Tolomei-Hard

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Who the heck am I?! I am a Certified Massage Therapist and wellness practitioner by trade. I want to help you transform your life challenges into assets.

Spiritual Mentor, Wellness Coach & Intuitive Healer 🌿
Helping high-achieving, heart-centered peopl release burnout, people-pleasing & chronic anxiety so they can finally trust themselves and live with more peace and joy. I have over come some hardcore life challenges- like family illness, deaths, unhealthy relationships, addiction and loss of my home in a wildfire. I want to share my experience and how I transformed with you! My goal is to show people that anything is possible for them. The secret that I have learned is that when we transform our thoughts and feelings, our external world follows. Freedom and joy come from within. Join me on an internal journey of transformation!

11/05/2026

If you're the one who is constantly checking in, thinking of what everyone else might need, and handling it before they even ask...

You may be an over-functioning people-pleaser.

This pattern can leave you exhausted.

Most people-pleasers are in "go mode" all of the time because, at some point, their nervous system learned that to be useful was how they stayed safe and connected.

If you anticipate everyone's needs, no one gets disappointed, no one gets upset (with you), and you don't have to feel the discomfort of someone struggling.

But that's not real life and it's not sustainable.

It just keeps you depleted.

The hard part is that slowing down and reconnecting with yourself can almost feel impossible.

When you've spent years organizing your life around everyone else's comfort, turning toward your own needs can bring up guilt, anxiety, or the fear that everything will fall apart if you stop holding it all together.

But with practice, things can shift.
You can start to notice what you actually need.

That constant mental chatter gets quieter.
You have more space and energy.

You show up for the people you love from a fuller place instead of an empty one.

And you realize you can still care for them without abandoning yourself in the process.

It doesn't happen overnight. But the more you practice coming back to yourself, even if it's just 4 or 5 minutes, the less you need to over function to feel okay.

🔖 Save this if you've been carrying more than your share.

And if this is resonating with you and you're ready to take the next step, the Unwind Women's Circle is just for you.

Join us Sunday, November 15th
10AM — 11:15AM at Studio Be in Napa.
There are only 12 spots available.

✨ Click the link in my bio to save your spot.

10/29/2026

It’s hard to put yourself first without guilt.

Especially when you’re not used to prioritizing your own needs.

That guilt can keep you saying yes even when you’re overcommitted and burnt out.

Sitting with the guilt and still choosing yourself takes courage.

We can’t always wait to feel good before we make the changes we know we need. Sometimes we just have to trust that peace is on the other side.

Peace comes with practice — with putting your needs first and discovering that everyone is still okay. And that *you* are better.

The guilt gets quieter. You feel less depleted. You show up more fully for the people you love.

Everyone wins when you put yourself first.

Save this for the next time you need the reminder.

And if this resonates, the Unwind Women Circle is for you.

It’s a small gathering of perfectionists and people-pleasers who want to care for others without carrying the emotional weight — the stress, the burnout — that comes from giving so much.

A space to listen, learn, and be supported by women who hold so much wisdom and life experience.
A space to feel seen and heard.

Our next circle is November 15th, 10:15–11:15 a.m.
at Studio Be, 301 Post Street, Napa

Only 12 spots are available.

✨ Click the link in my bio to sign up.

10/19/2026

If you're a people, pleaser, chances are you give a lot in rarely stop to receive.

✔️ You say yes when you're over committed.
✔️ You carry others problems as if they were your own.
✔️ You feel guilty when you rest

In the worst part— sometimes you feel alone, like you can't ask for the same help you so willingly give to everyone else.

Luckily, you aren't the only one who feels this way.

And that's why I created the Unwind Women's Circle
It's a safe space to listen, share, and realize you're not the only people-pleaser who feels this way.

Plus there is something absolutely amazing about being in a room full of women, who collectively have so many experiences, so much wisdom to draw from, and want to share it with you.

When we share what's really going on with us it makes our burden so much lighter.

So if this resonates, join us at the Unwind Women's Circle

✨ Sunday, November 15th, 10:00 a.m. — 11:15 a.m., at Studio Be.

❤️Link to sign up in my bio

10/18/2026

I used to think healing meant I would only feel better.

And I do feel better — but not in the way I expected.

I feel grief more fully.
I’m more attuned to what’s really going on beneath the surface when I feel irritable, resentful, or find myself overworking and obsessing over things I can’t control.

It’s taken me a long time to actually learn how to feel my feelings. It used to feel so scary and heavy.

When the feelings move through you, there is relief.
But you have to feel it all before you can let it go.

That’s not always comfortable.
But it’s worth it.

Because you not only feel more strongly — you become more in tune with yourself.

You start to understand what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. And you gain more ability to regulate your nervous system.

Healing doesn’t always feel better.
It builds your capacity to feel everything so it can move through you and release.

If this resonates, the Unwind Women's Circle is for you!

It's a gathering for people-pleasers and perfectionists who are ready to feel a little less alone. It’s a safe space to listen, share (or simply be heard), and realize you’re not the only one carrying so much.

Join us on Sunday, Nov. 15th, 10-11:15 AM
at Studio Be.

✨Link to sign up in my bio.

10/05/2026

This time of year can be a lot for me.

October holds the anniversary of my mom's passing and the loss of my home.

For a long time, I marked these dates with grief.
I dreaded them.

These days, sometimes grief still shows up but (for the most part) I've decided to view this time of year as a new beginning. A personal new year.

Because that's what these great losses gave me.
The space to start over (even if that wasn't what I wanted at the time.

Life's challenges break your cycles, crack you open, make you a different person.

There's an opportunity in the pain and the struggle.

You have the option to live disempowered by hard times or to turn them into your comeback story that motivates the reasons you've helped yourself and helped others.

The worst thing we can do is think we are alone in any sort of struggle we experience.

So if you're going through something hard right now— can you ask yourself... Is there an opportunity in this?

Will this hardship be an opportunity to release some old attitudes, attachments, relationships, or beliefs that you have outgrown?

You don't have to see it yet.
You just have to trust that it's there.

10/01/2026

People don't always play the role we think they are supposed to in our life.

Or sometimes we lose someone we love.

And in both cases, we can feel left with a feeling of emptiness.

When our parents or loved one isn't able to show up for us the way we wish they could it isn't because of something we did. Often it's because they don't have the capacity to give us what we need — not because we aren't worthy of it, but because of their own limitations.

What I've learned is that we don't have to stay stuck waiting for that one person to finally be what we need them to be.

We get to build our village.

The friend who mothers you.
The mentor who fathers you.
The community that holds you in ways your family of origin couldn't.

These relationships are so powerful.

And sometimes you're filling that role for someone else too. You're both receiving and giving something the other person needs. 💞

That's what community is actually for.

You are allowed to have your needs met.
You are allowed to find that in more than one place.
You are allowed to stop waiting for one relationship to be everything.

❤️Food for thought.

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Address

Napa, CA
94558

Website

https://mrs-hard.com/realign, https://www.libravitae.com/services-4, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hard-times-no

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