10/24/2026
For a long time after Jimmy died, I wasn’t really making choices about my life. I was just doing whatever needed to be done next.
And I don’t regret the years I spent surviving.
I think that’s important to say.
After Jimmy died, survival was sometimes exactly what I needed.
I had three young kids. I was grieving. They were grieving. Life kept moving even when ours felt like it had completely fallen apart.
So I learned to do the next thing.
And then the next.
And then the next.
Eventually, I got pretty damn good at it.
What I didn’t realize was that survival could become so familiar that even when I started having a little more capacity, I didn’t really know how to live any other way.
I knew how to ask:
What needs to happen today?
It took longer to start asking:
What do I want?
What matters to me now?
What do I want this life I never chose to actually feel like?
That didn’t happen all at once.
There wasn’t some magical day when I declared myself officially done surviving and started rebuilding.
It was little things.
Little choices.
Little pieces of myself coming back.
And eventually realizing that wanting more from my life didn’t erase the life I had with Jimmy.
I could miss him.
I could love him.
I could carry everything that happened with me.
And I could still want to live a life I loved again.
If you’re a widow who’s gotten really good at surviving but you’re starting to wonder how to actually live again, I created my free OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE guide for you.
It’s a gentle place to start. No pressure to figure out your whole life or take some giant leap forward.
Comment SURVIVAL and I’ll send it to you. 🫶🏻