Curiously Carnal Tarot

10/24/2026

Some things in life just hurt.

They just do.

We don’t have to spiritualise them away.

We don’t have to call our grief an “illusion”, our anger a “lack of awareness”, or our fear a “failure to trust life”.

We don’t have to pretend that everything “happens for a reason”, that every heartbreak is “a lesson from the Universe”, or that every loss is “secretly a gift”.

Sometimes life is just… devastating. People we love leave, dreams die, our bodies hurt, and people we care about suffer terribly.

Sometimes we have no answers at all.

And that doesn’t mean we’re unenlightened or that we haven’t surrendered enough.

It means… we’re human.

And when we’re human and hurting, we don’t need someone telling us we created our suffering, that it’s all part of a divine plan, or that we just need to “let go”.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is stop trying to be spiritual.

And admit that we don’t understand.

That we wish things were different.

And that, for now, we just need to be in our process, and be allowed to feel exactly what we feel.

- Jeff Foster

10/22/2026

09/29/2026

Once I thought that to be human was the highest aim a man could have, but I see now that it was meant to destroy me. Today I am proud to say that I am inhuman, that I belong not to men and governments, that I have nothing to do with creeds and principles. I have nothing to do with the creaking machinery of humanity - I belong to the earth!

~Henry Miller

09/16/2026

Do not seek love. Do not leave yourself for love, and search for love in the other. Love is not an object, it cannot be given nor taken away. It cannot be found nor lost. Love is not a feeling, a state, or a peak experience, but what you are, presence itself.

Do not confuse love with attraction. Attraction comes and goes, can fade over time. Do not confuse love with longing. Longing is impermanent, transitory. Do not confuse love with feelings of bliss, pleasure, an excited nervous system. These passing states cannot last; it is not in their nature. Even promises, given with such certainty today, with the best of intentions, can fade tomorrow, or be broken.

Love, however, does not fade. Love cannot diminish over time. Love is not a commodity, a shifting form. Love is a field, a field within and without us, a field in which thoughts, feelings, even the most seemingly solid plans for the future, can appear and disappear. Love holds hope as much as loss, excitement as much as boredom, crushing disappointment as much as bliss. Love is the field for the shifting forms, the ground that holds us as we walk, sit, talk or do not, feel what we feel in each other's presence, go about the business of our day, plan, eat, hope, say goodbye, try to love. Love is greater than us. We do not generate it with words and deeds, or even intentions, but we are continually embraced by it, held in its vastness, no matter what we do, or do not. We are married, we divorce; we are friends, we are lovers; we break up, we break together; we are born, we die; the field endures.

Nobody has ever given us love; that is the great illusion. We have simply remembered the field in each other's presence, sometimes, recognised eternity in the midst of the everyday, then credited another. Love never came from outside of us; we simply touched our own presence, fell into the love that we are, and cannot not be. And nobody ever took love away from us; we simply forgot the field, and 'blamed' the other, and looked for love again, feeling its absence, lost in a narrative of 'lost love'. Yet love was there, even in its apparent absence; it was present, even in the loss. It cannot be broken; a wave cannot crush the Ocean.

Do not seek love, do not look for the light, but be it, offer it; the joy of loving another is infinitely greater than the joy of fearfully clinging to another's love, for deep down you know it is only an illusion that what you have always longed for could ever have come from outside of you. You are the One; you have always been the One.

The search ends exactly where it began - in presence.

You realize you are love itself, and this changes everything; love is yours, forever, even when it's not.

~ Jeff Foster

09/14/2026

Most people don’t realize their thoughts are controlling them. The trap begins when you believe every thought that enters your mind. A thought whispers, “I’m not good enough.” You identify with it. Emotion follows. Action follows. Eventually, repetition turns that thought into a life pattern.

But you are not the thought. You are the awareness observing it. Think of the mind as a television: thoughts are the channels; you are the watcher. You cannot always control what appears on the screen, but you can control what receives your attention. The moment you observe a thought instead of becoming it, you begin stripping it of authority.

A thought may enter your mind, but it cannot become action without your will. Thought influences emotion. Emotion influences action. Repeated action shapes your reality. Learn to stand behind the mind and choose what receives your consciousness.

Master your mind—or your mind will become your master.

09/11/2026

Pluto will take you to a very dark place before he gives you whatever the f**k you are obsessed with. And for that, he'll take something you can never have back.

So why do we get obsessed? Maybe it's dread, a gnawing feeling that you could miss out on the thing you desperately need. That s**t can ruin your sleep and ruined sleep makes the day miserable since every waking hour is spent on trying to fill a void that only grows the more you feed it.

Have a loοk at yourself. You're being consumed by a hunger for something, be it money, s*x, power, whatever fantasy you have of becoming whole, which, deep down feels kinda depraved. And the things you do to "get some" can turn into hidden shame. And the dirtier you feel, the harder you work to hide it.

It's like Dorian Gray, really. The portrait he kept hidden in the attic, the thing that bore his true age and every one of his transgressions, remained banished from sight. His inability to look at it was the very thing eating away at him. When he finally tried to destroy the evidence rather than face it and work through it, integrate it, the blade went into himself. It killed him.

Pluto is crawling backwards through Aquarius, so our obsessions have migrated into the electrical field, where what we fixate on promises connection to the greater network and yet delivers the opposite, leaving us more disconnected, dispossessed and hollow than before. Its impact to this Virgo New Moon is massive, since Virgo is striving for a pristine body and it feels as though the obsessions have already polluted the process. And with Venus about to square in from Scorpio, any compulsion to satisfy obsessive desires can turn your affairs into mutually destructive and life-spoiling, or else spiral into debasement of character.

It's gonna take everything you got to avoid driving this into the sewers, but it's probably worth the trade.

09/10/2026

Dm for a Labor day reading ❣️✨️🙂

08/05/2026

One of the hardest truths to face is that the person you think you are… is mostly a collection of labels, memories, roles, and stories that were handed to you.

From the moment you were born, they gave you a name. Then they gave you an identity. They told you your nationality, your religion, your status, your career, your worth, your failures, your traumas, your political side, your social class. Layer after layer, they built a character—and eventually you forgot that you were the one wearing the mask.

But stop for a second and ask yourself…

If you had no name, who would be offended?
If you had no title, who would need to prove themselves?
If you had no past, who would be carrying guilt?
If you had no story, who exactly would have the problem?

The ego hates these questions because it survives by convincing you that the character is all that exists. It clings to old wounds, old relationships, old identities, and old suffering because without them, it fears it will disappear.

Real transformation is not adding another layer of self-improvement. It is stripping away everything that was never truly you. It is the uncomfortable, terrifying process of watching old versions of yourself die. The victim dies. The people-pleaser dies. The seeker of approval dies. The identity built on trauma, fear, and survival dies.

And yes, it can feel like a psychological death.

Most people never allow this process because they would rather stay trapped in familiar misery than step into the unknown. They would rather suffer as the person they have always been than face the silence that comes when the old identity falls apart.

But maybe that emptiness is not something to fear.

Maybe that “nothingness” is the place where you finally meet what is real. The awareness behind the name. The observer behind the thoughts. The quiet presence that existed before the world told you who you had to be.

You are not your job.
You are not your possessions.
You are not your followers.
You are not your trauma.
You are not your successes or your failures.
You are not even the story you keep repeating to yourself every day.

The greatest prison is not the world around you. The greatest prison is the identity you defend without ever questioning where it came from.

The most radical act of freedom is not becoming someone new.

It is having the courage to let the false version of you fall away… and discovering that underneath it all, you were never the mask to begin with.
~Intimate Oracle

07/24/2026

FIVE OF PENTACLES

The Anxious Outcast

We are not born feeling inadequate. Life experiences and emotions create that sense within us in a variety of destructive ways. Not enough money, not enough time, not enough love, not enough… All this scarcity stems from the faulty core belief: “I am not enough.” A belief which keeps us on the outside of everything. Worry is a type of mental lethargy that can become a habit. An unconscious negative self-talk loop, constantly reinforcing itself through negative life experiences. An atelophobia with debilitating consequences. Here Mercury has been stifled by the gravity of Ta**us. This Five card reminds us that we are presently inanimate: dead to action. We can change directions, be they financial, physical, emotional or mental only by moving. You were born enough and always will be.

Card Description

A woman on her knees flogs herself with a cat-o-nine tails: an indication of how worry is self- abuse. Selfishness, self-pity, self-indulgence, self-delusion and self-renunciation are the five stripes that she has placed across her own back. The setting is cold and dark reflecting her thoughts and feelings about herself. She is outside a warmly lit house with open doors and a celebration going on inside. She is welcome, if only she moves. There are five inverted pentacles on the house which imply difficulties and/or that the fears of the body have conquered the will. The symbols for Mercury and Ta**us reside in the dark sky. Mercurial energy is opposed in Taurian earth, simply because earth has a natural tendency to be stationary while Mercury is in swift motion.

Meanings & Musings

Worry about material things or health, feeling trapped in past pain, problematic communication, fear of existence, insecurity, deprivation, exclusion, dishonesty, persistence.

We inherit a deeply ingrained narrative that who we are in this moment is inherently deficient. To cope with the underlying terror of this perceived inadequacy, the human mind eagerly seeks refuge in absolute certainties and rigid belief systems. We attach our entire sense of self to these external frameworks, hoping they will finally grant us the validation we feel we lack. In doing so, we unwittingly outsource our innate power to a script that dictates our behavior and measures our righteousness. We become locked in a cycle of trying to earn love and safety from a mechanism that thrives on our ongoing sense of incompletion. The profound misunderstanding is that we are looking for an outside force to cure a defect that only exists as a concept in our minds. Real freedom is the sudden, beautiful realization that you have spent your whole life trying to become what you already are.
~Intimate Oracle