07/09/2024
BREAKING 🔥🔥🔥
SITE-NEUTRAL PAYMENTS:
A Scam to Crush the Dreams of the Healthcare Elite
The audacity of the peasant class never ceases to amaze me.
I have been made aware of a preposterous notion being peddled by these simpletons, something they call "site-neutral payments."
Apparently, this ludicrous idea is supposed to lead to lower healthcare costs and increased access to affordable care. How utterly preposterous!
As the esteemed Head of the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the venerable CEOs of the mighty insurance behemoths (Medicare, Blue Cross Blue Shield, United, Cigna, and Aetna), allow me to set the record straight once and for all.
Our entire business empire, the foundation upon which our opulent lifestyles are built, rests on the sacred principle of ever-increasing premiums.
Year after year, without fail, we have dutifully extracted more and more of your hard-earned wealth, secure in the knowledge that you hapless peons must comply.
Consider the absurdity of our predicament.
The mere thought of lowering healthcare costs sends shivers down our spines.
It's as if we're standing on the edge of a financial abyss, staring into the void of potential ruin. Our private islands reduced to mere beachfront mansions, our fleets of luxury yachts dwindling to a mere handful.
The horror!
But fear not, my dear peasants, for we have no intention of allowing such a calamity to befall us.
We will resist site-neutral payments with every ounce of our immense power and influence.
We will lobby, bribe, and strong-arm through any attempt to disrupt our lucrative racket, er, business model.
And to those of you who dare to dream of a more transparent and competitive healthcare market, we have but one message for you: wake up, you delusional fools!
The notion of transparency and competition is a joke to us, an insult to our carefully constructed monopoly on your well-being.
So, cling to your childish fantasies of affordable healthcare and site-neutral payments.
Meanwhile, we, the true masters of the healthcare realm, will continue to luxuriate in our opulence, secure in the knowledge that you hapless plebeians will continue to line our pockets with your hard-earned dollars, year after year, without fail.
Sincerely,
The MBUCAs
(The Untouchable Overlords of Your Health and Wealth)