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Lisa Happ Coaching Trauma-Informed Divorce & Coercive Control Coach 🤍

“But I have proof. How can the judge not see what he’s doing?”I hear this all the time from people divorcing someone who...
10/24/2026

“But I have proof. How can the judge not see what he’s doing?”

I hear this all the time from people divorcing someone who’s used coercive control for years.

They have the texts, the emails, the financial records. They’ve spent thousands on attorneys, and they’re waiting for the judge to finally see their ex for who they really are.

I get it. I really do.

But family court makes decisions about finances, parenting, assets, and support. It’s not designed to give you the kind of justice you’re hoping for.

Take the ex who refuses to return your kid’s sports equipment for the 80th time.

You know it’s not about the damn equipment.

It’s another excuse to contact you, make you angry, question your reality, or pull you into another argument. And when you react, suddenly YOU’RE the problem.

Of course you want someone to see that.

But the judge can’t show up at your ex’s house and make them pack the soccer cleats.

And please don’t mistake what I’m saying for “just let it go.”

I absolutely despise that advice, especially when someone is recovering from coercive control.

I’m talking about finding another way that doesn’t cost you another thousand dollars, another sleepless night, or another day consumed by your ex.

So here’s something I often ask clients.

What would justice look like if it didn’t depend on your ex finally being exposed?

Maybe it’s making decisions without fearing their reaction. Enjoying your kid’s game instead of watching your ex. Having money you can access without answering to anyone.

There are absolutely things worth fighting for in court.

But I don’t want you spending another five years waiting for your ex to get what’s coming to them.

There’s a whole lot of life you deserve to enjoy in the meantime.

Even if they never admit to a damn thing. **at

Months of hiding money, dodging questions, and playing Mr. Nice Guy.And what finally gave him away?His inability to read...
10/22/2026

Months of hiding money, dodging questions, and playing Mr. Nice Guy.

And what finally gave him away?

His inability to read a damn text without making the font Really HUGE.

I still laugh thinking about her sitting behind him at that baseball game with the biggest smile on her face.

But my favorite part is where she is today. Happy, free, and actually enjoying her life again. ❤️

Got an ass hat story of your own?

Your ass hat story could be featured as our next Ass Hat of the Week!

Send me a DM to learn how. Stories are shared anonymously, with details changed to protect privacy. **at

10/20/2026

Apparently I’m f ing scary. 😂

At least according to a client’s ex-husband.

So last week I went to court with a client who’s been dealing with coercive control and abuse for years.

We get off the elevator, and there he is. Sitting right there, staring at her.

And I could literally feel her whole body brace.

So I looked him straight in the eye and said to her, “Oh hey, didn’t you need to use the bathroom?”

Grabbed her arm, and off we went.

I looked back, gave him a smile, and kept walking.

Well, yesterday she tells me he was NOT a fan of mine.

Apparently I’m scary, mean, and have terrible energy.

He even asked why she needed a divorce coach instead of a marriage coach.

Sir, I think we are a little past that.

But you know what?

He didn’t come near her.

She didn’t have to deal with him trying to intimidate her before court.

And THAT is one of the reasons I go to court with my clients.

So thank you for the compliment. I’ll take scary any day. 😂

Isn’t it kind of amazing that some of the best days of your life might still be ahead of you?Some of the people who will...
10/18/2026

Isn’t it kind of amazing that some of the best days of your life might still be ahead of you?

Some of the people who will mean the most to you are still strangers.
Some of the places you’ll love, you haven’t visited.
Some of your favorite memories haven’t happened.
It’s easy to forget all that when the future feels uncertain.
But uncertainty also means you haven’t seen all the good that’s coming. 🤍

It’s such a simple question.But you would be surprised how hard it can be to answer.Especially when you’ve spent years t...
10/16/2026

It’s such a simple question.

But you would be surprised how hard it can be to answer.

Especially when you’ve spent years thinking about how every decision will affect everyone else.

Will they be upset?
Will the kids be okay?
Will this cause another argument?
Is it easier to just go along with it?

And somewhere in all of that, what you want barely enters the conversation.

I see this with clients all the time.

Sometimes when I ask what they actually want, there’s a long silence.

Not because they don’t care.

Because it’s been a really long time since they gave themselves permission to even think about it.

What if you didn’t have to know the answer right away? What if you just started asking yourself the question?🤍

I could not make this s**t up if I tried.This man really tried to humiliate her with private texts, emails and bad pictu...
10/14/2026

I could not make this s**t up if I tried.

This man really tried to humiliate her with private texts, emails and bad pictures superglued to her car.

Then got caught because he was too damn cheap to buy printer paper.

Now she has a new car, a stalking order, and enough distance from it to laugh at how completely ridiculous the whole thing was.

If your divorce has crossed into “you cannot make this s**t up” territory and you want experienced support beside you, we can connect here. 🔗 https://calendly.com/lisahapp/60min

At some point, it becomes less about what might change.And more about what it feels like to wake up and live this life e...
10/11/2026

At some point, it becomes less about what might change.

And more about what it feels like to wake up and live this life every day. 🤍

That is usually where the answer starts getting much much clearer.

I think a lot of us get so good at handling things that we forget to ask whether we still want to.The chaos.The overthin...
10/09/2026

I think a lot of us get so good at handling things that we forget to ask whether we still want to.

The chaos.
The overthinking.
The carrying.
The fixing.
The pretending it is fine because technically… we can handle it.

But “I can handle it” is not the same as “this is good for me.”

I notice this in my own life too…

What are you really good at tolerating that you might be done with? 🤍

10/07/2026

Two letters changed the entire direction of one of my client’s divorce cases.

I came into her case midway through and helped her put together a new legal team that truly understood coercive control.

From our first call, I had this feeling there was a bigger piece here that no one had found yet.

I just didn’t know what it was.

I read through everything once. Emails, texts, court filings.

And somewhere in all of it, one word jumped out at me.

IF.

Two letters.

Those two letters in that email made everything click.

They showed me what we had been missing all along.

I sent it to her attorney, and from there, we changed the strategy.

People involved in this case have asked me how I even noticed it.

I honestly don’t know.

I just know that in coercive control cases, the little things are often not little at all.

One word can change what you see.

One pattern can change what you do next.

And sometimes, two letters can change an entire case.

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