Cary Mac Arthur

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Cary Mac Arthur My passion is helping women rediscover their inner strength, improve their relationships, and achieve clarity and healing.

Together, we will navigate difficulties to work towards a more fulfilling and balanced life.

10/01/2026

Welcome to October. šŸ¤ And welcome to Clearing.

This part of VOICE isn't about becoming less.

It's about becoming more intentional about what gets to take up space in your life.

Because we carry a lot.

Beliefs.

Expectations.

Responsibilities.

Old stories.

Roles we've played for so long that they feel like identity.

Other people's opinions.

Relationships.

Resentment.

Things we haven't grieved.

Ways of protecting ourselves that may have once been exactly what we needed.

Clearing doesn't demand that we throw any of it away.

First, we notice.

Then we understand.

And then we get to discern:

"Does this still belong?"

Some things will.

Some things may need to change.

Some things may have never been ours to carry in the first place.

And some things we may simply be ready to put down.

Not because we're rejecting who we've been.

Because we're making room for who we're becoming.

This month, we'll practice Clearing together.

So let's start here:

What are you ready to make a little more room for?

I've been thinking about how easy it is to look back at ourselves and wonder:"Why did I do that?""Why did I stay?""Why d...
09/30/2026

I've been thinking about how easy it is to look back at ourselves and wonder:

"Why did I do that?"
"Why did I stay?"
"Why did I keep saying yes?"
"Why did I work so hard to keep everyone happy?"
"Why did I push through when I was exhausted?"
"Why did I need so much control?"
"Why didn't I ask for help?"
"Why do I still do something I KNOW isn't helping me?"

But here's something I've learned—personally and professionally:

It usually made sense somewhere.

We adapt.

We learn what helps us feel connected, capable, accepted, protected, or a little more in control.
We learn what gets us through.
And sometimes we keep using those same responses long after the circumstances that shaped them have changed.

That doesn't mean every pattern is healthy.

And understanding why we do something doesn't mean we have to keep doing it.

But I think there's a big difference between saying:

"What's wrong with me?ā€
and asking:
I wonder how this made sense for me?ā€

One invites shame.
The other invites understanding.
And understanding gives us somewhere to go.

We've spent September practicing Openness—getting curious enough to see ourselves a little more clearly.

Tomorrow we begin asking a new question:

"Now that I can see it… what do I still want to carry?"

We’ll come back to Clearing soon. šŸ¤
For now, notice what you’re carrying.ā€ 😊

One of the things I love most about "Openness" is that it gives us permission to notice ourselves without immediately tu...
09/28/2026

One of the things I love most about "Openness"
is that it gives us permission to notice ourselves without immediately turning what we find into another self-improvement project.

Because we do that, don't we?

We recognize a pattern and immediately think:
"Okay. How do I stop doing this?"

But sometimes I think we need to stay in curiosity a little longer.

"Why might this make sense?"
"What was I trying to protect?"
"What did I learn about relationships, belonging, achievement, safety, or being loved?"
"What was this response trying to do for me?"

Understanding something doesn't mean we have to keep it.
It just means we don't have to shame ourselves for having learned it.

And that's an important distinction.

Because sustainable change rarely begins with:
"What's wrong with me?"

It can begin with:
"Oh. I see myself a little more clearly now."

As we finish our month of Openness, don't rush past that.

Sometimes awareness itself is movement.

šŸ¤ What have you noticed about yourself lately that you're willing to get curious about instead of immediately trying to fix?

Sometimes we assume everyone wants the same things we do.Or maybe we do the opposite—we assume we should want what seems...
09/26/2026

Sometimes we assume everyone wants the same things we do.

Or maybe we do the opposite—we assume we should want what seems important to everyone else.

But what feels meaningful, fulfilling, exciting, or worth pursuing can look very different from person to person.

Our temperament is one of the things that can influence what naturally captures our attention and what feels important to us.

One person may deeply value connection and meaning.
Another, joy and shared experience.
Another, movement and agency.
Another, growth and excellence.

None of these is the ā€œrightā€ thing to want—and none of us is limited to only one.

But understanding our natural motivations can help us get curious about an important question:

Do I actually want this—or have I learned that I'm supposed to want it?

Openness means becoming curious enough to find out. ā¤ļø

Curious about your natural motivations?
If you want to explore the value you naturally bring to the world, you can take a guess at what temperament type you have—and there’s a good chance that you’ll be right--but why not just take the assessment and find out for sure?

And who knows? the results might surprise you!!

Take the assessment at the link in my bio. šŸŒŠā˜€ļøāš”šŸŒ²

Declare what you want...and then listen to what comes next...For example: I want to be known.And I'm afraid I'll be reje...
09/25/2026

Declare what you want...and then listen to what comes next...

For example:
I want to be known.
And I'm afraid I'll be rejected.

I want to try.
And I'm afraid I'll fail.

I want more connection.
And I'm afraid of getting hurt again.

I want something different.
And I'm afraid of disappointing people.

Both can be true.

The goal isn't to resolve the tension yet. It's simply to become open enough to hold both truths without making either disappear.

Not everything uncomfortable is dangerous.Sometimes discomfort is telling us something really is unsafe—and that deserve...
09/24/2026

Not everything uncomfortable is dangerous.

Sometimes discomfort is telling us something really is unsafe—and that deserves our attention.

But sometimes what we're feeling isn't exactly fear.

It might be awkwardness. Embarrassment. Guilt. Uncertainty. Self-consciousness. Or simply the discomfort of doing something differently than we've done it before.

Maybe I'm saying what I want instead of automatically accommodating.

Letting myself be seen instead of editing.

Setting a boundary instead of keeping the peace.

Trying something I might not be good at.

Allowing someone to be disappointed with me.

The goal isn't to automatically push through discomfort—or automatically obey it.

Get curious about it.

What am I feeling?

What am I afraid might happen?

Is there actual danger here—or does this simply feel unfamiliar?

What might this discomfort be trying to protect me from?

Sometimes discomfort is a warning.

And sometimes it's the feeling of expanding beyond something that used to keep us safe.

09/23/2026

Sometimes the hardest part isn't getting what you want.
It's admitting that you want it.

Are you up for a challenge?

Maybe vulnerability isn't really about becoming someone who shares more.Maybe it's about becoming someone who hides less...
09/22/2026

Maybe vulnerability isn't really about becoming someone who shares more.

Maybe it's about becoming someone who hides less of what is true in the places where it is safe to be known.

So that's my question for this week:

Where do you notice yourself exhale?
Where don't you have to perform?

Who can see your strength without competing with it?
Your pain without trying to control it?
Your joy without diminishing it?
Your opinions without requiring agreement?
Your growth without needing you to stay who you've always been?

And perhaps most importantly:
Can you offer some of that safety to yourself?

Because before I can let someone else know me...
I have to be willing to know me. šŸ’«

09/21/2026

Openness means becoming willing to know what we want—even before we know what we're going to do about it.

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Saint George, UT

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