Talking to My Selves

Talking to My Selves CAUTION: Reading this book may lead to falling in love with yourself! As a Master Alchemist for more than 30 years, Debbie has been taking her clients on amazing journeys to see who they really are.

Are you ready to know all of your "selves"?

Operating as usual

10/12/2020

I saw this post on someone's timeline and although it is true, there is more to it. It describes the subpersonality in Alchemy we refer to as Ms or Mr Together. One of the character traits I describe in my book is to deny their body needs.
But this is another theme I keep talking about and that is Victim bashing. I’m the only person I know who stands up the the Positive Traits of the subpersonality of The Victim.
1. They can ask for help.
2. They can rest.
3. They can be VULNERABLE!!!!
That is the exact opposite of a Ms/Mr. Together. They are diametrically opposed.

"The responses to Trauma which are not only socially acceptable, but praised and rewarded:
Perfectionism
Overachieving
Restricting food intake
Excessive exercising
People pleasing
Powering through
People pleasing
Career over personal lives
Being a "yes" person
Chronic workaholism
Over-scheduling
Functioning on few hours sleep"

Don't trust your Lover/Romantic alone when it comes to lifelong decisions like marriage.  Without reading this article, ...
08/28/2020
Why Compatibility Is More Important Than Chemistry | by Jay Shetty

Don't trust your Lover/Romantic alone when it comes to lifelong decisions like marriage. Without reading this article, I completely agree. Especially because "chemicals" pour through our brain when we meet someone new, and especially have good s*x with them.

That is no way to make a decision and I have almost 40 years of working with heartbroken clients (and 67 years of personal experience) to confirm this.

But studying neuroscience explains it like nothing else except the 50+% rate of divorce as people vow to love forever should say it all. "Love" as we believe in it from Fairy Tales we read and Hollywood perpetrates deceives our own Higher Brain. It gets clouded and goes out the window when we put on our Rose-colored glasses of "Love" as defined by "chemistry."

FRIENDS FIRST is an easy path to follow. Easier said than done, but that will show compatibility better than s*x will.

Ever get caught up in the chemistry of a relationship, only to realize later you weren’t compatible? Jay Shetty reminds us that most of our visions of compat...

This is very good. However, the one thing that "Re-parenting ourself" does is it makes a woman a single mother (a man, a...
08/25/2020

This is very good. However, the one thing that "Re-parenting ourself" does is it makes a woman a single mother (a man, a single father). That is why in AHAA! Alchemical Hypnotherapy Assoc. of Atlanta we create a whole "Inner FAMILY" that includes a contra-s*xual parent from the realm of Guides/Angels or deceased loved ones. "Families" are the basic unit of human beings. We have too many single parent families already.
But don't get me wrong - it's a great start! Whatever we need to do to love our Inner Child and take responsibility for his or her care, is vital.

Many years ago as I started my healing journey I wrote on a piece of paper “you are your own best mother.”

It was on my refrigerator. A reminder that it was now an opportunity (+ responsibility) to practice meeting my own needs, honoring my limits, + unlearn the core beliefs about myself that I had inherited.

Reparenting is a spiritual journey. It’s a commitment to the highest acts of self love.

Most of us have been conditioned in homes were self betrayal, lack of boundaries, + chronic codependency was our “normal.”

As we heal, we can begin to unlearn these “normal” behaviors (it’s important to understand that just because something is normal, or socially accepted doesn’t mean it’s serving us.)

It also doesn’t mean that we need continue to betray ourselves because we witness most people in our lives doing the same.

We CAN heal. We can reparent ourselves + unlearn the patterns that create our suffering. We can become conscious to our learned coping mechanisms + speak to ourselves as the wise inner parent many of us didn’t have.

Who else is on this journey with me? #selfhealers

04/15/2020
Truth Telling Wins

This is a Live I really want to be spread far and wide as it's information that only a Master Alchemist will share. I want everyone doing self-care, and I teach an easy way how.

I also do a card reading where I asked for the cards that would represent what is happening for people right now.

I end with tips about keeping your lungs healthy and about masks and gloves.

We all need some Bunny to Love!

04/15/2020
Ayelet Schwell - HealingHer Birth Services רפא נא לה

Good timing to repost this discussion on “Fear” by a Doula in Israel on the conversations she hears from her pregnant moms.

This was my response back in 2017. This is all very timely today:

Very good advice. I completely agree. Of course we have many more voices than the one of Fear and the one so many people talk about quieting - that of the Inner Critic (or Judge). I talk about two dozen of them in my book Talking to My Selves: Learning to Love the Voices in Your Head.

But another thing I've been studying for the past 7 years since publishing my book, is neuroscience, an it is helpful to understand the fact that Fear is programmed into our brains and nervous systems, as well as the reason why. It is evolutionary as the best method to assure survival of the species. The analogy I like best is that of whether it was a better idea for our ancestors to know if food was tasty and good for us, or if it was poison and going to kill us. God/Evolution had to weigh the side of life vs. death as the most important.

So another way I teach people to deal with fear, is to talk back to the brain and say thank you for trying to keep me safe, but I hear you and I will keep this in mind while we explore more options and I'll make sure they will be safe or I'll be sure to listen to you otherwise. It does still involve a dialog with the voice, but now you also know the science behind the voice of Fear so you say thank you to it, and then it can say thank you back.

​​#myownthoughts on "fear"

I've had several discussions in the past few weeks about fear.
One woman told me how she tries to "ban" fear.
A mom shared how it paralyzed her, a fellow doula spoke about how she wants to help moms eliminate it...
And I realized that I take a completely different approach to this idea of fear. And I didn't learn it in a birth class. I learned it from observing and listening to women and to my mentors.

Fear is not an enemy. It's not something to suppress, eliminate, free yourself from... If there are two voices in your soul, one is the soft, still voice - your intuition, the feeling you get when you're on the right path, when something resonates with you and "feels right."
The other voice is the siren, the warning signal, the silent scream that something isn't right. That is your fear. Fear's message is equally integral to your survival and should not be ignored.

But then what do we do when it feels like Fear is "taking over?" When we feel paralyzed, stuck - afraid to move forward? What do we do when the only voice we can hear is the fear? How can I make the right choice for me, when all I can think about is what I want to avoid?

I'd like you to take a deep breath before reading the next few sentences. Breathe. Good.
You may not have heard anything like this before... so open your mind and your heart to the possibility of what I'm about to share.

Instead of trying to "suppress your fear", or "giving in to your fear", or trying to convince yourself that "there's nothing to fear" with platitudes and affirmations - embrace your fear. Don't confront it, no one likes to be "confronted," not even yourself!
Give your fear a voice. Give it love.
"I hear you. What are you trying to warn me about? Help me, I'm listening!"
What happens when you do that is that the siren winds down. Fear looks back at you and says, "oh, are you talking to me? I've been trying to get your attention, I just want to help you!"
And when you listen, your fear will tell you what it needs. What you need. It will tell you why it's there, and then you can find the answers.

Most often, when I do this with pregnant women, when we give a voice to her fear, she finds that she already has the answers she needs. Or that there was just one little piece missing from her plan that she can now fill in. And sometimes, the fear is a really old one, from a past experience that can't possibly happen again, and all you needed was to hear yourself say that.

When you give your fear a voice, especially with a safe and supportive and knowledgeable person to guide you, your fear will actually thank you. It will recede back to it's place of watching out for danger, and know that you are respectful of it's warnings.

One amazing story that I have permission to share, is a woman named Emily. She shared that her first two births were so quick that she feared she wouldn't make it to the hospital on time with her third. Planning a home birth did not fit her needs for various reasons. I asked her to put her fear into words. What would happen if your labor progressed as quickly as in the past? What are the risks? What can you do about it?
It turns out she had already thought of some solutions, but the desire to "not think about that possibility" kept her from following through.
A few weeks later she contacted me to let me know that she asked a midwife friend of hers to give her and her husband a crash course on emergency home delivery. Her friend graciously obliged, and now Emily feels prepared, and completely calm about her upcoming birth!

Did she "eliminate" her fear? No. She gave it the respect that it deserves and by doing so, allowed the fear to do it's job, and leave Emily to do hers.

Is your fear stopping you? Is your fear making your decisions for you? Try this.
And if you need help, reach out! I'm here for you!
You can PM me, email me at [email protected], or schedule a time to talk: https://healingher.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?appointmentType=3329320

With unending love and respect,
Ayelet

04/15/2020
AJ+

Talking to your unborn baby.

The biological bond between mother and child is remarkable. (via Hashem Al-Ghaili)

All good ideas and true. Getting clear will help in whatever area you choose to get clear about, by defining and narrowi...
04/04/2020
How Defining Things Can Help You Feel Better About Life

All good ideas and true. Getting clear will help in whatever area you choose to get clear about, by defining and narrowing it down.

Of course, I also like to define and name the different parts of us, which is what I wrote my book about. For instance, my Rhonda Racer (Rebel part of me) is in heaven right now because all the traffic is gone in Atlanta so she's been racing around all the empty roads (with an eye out for cops).

I help my clients to give names to the various parts of them (name it to tame it). Like when the author of this article was afraid, it may not be necessary to process through what is the fear actually coming from every time it comes up. But it would surely help her to calm herself down if she could know it's her Inner Scaredy Cat (or Inner Child, or whatever name she comes up with), so then she doesn't need her husband to fix it for her; she can access her adult self or Higher Self or whatever part of her can comfort the scared part.

It's a much more fun way to live - and way healthier - than having what I call Singular Personality Disease.

Identifying only as Me, I, or our name, is very limiting. We're so much more! Have fun meeting and defining your Selves!

I was listening to the Awesome with Alison podcast the other day and she spoke about how defining things can help you to feel better about…

10/17/2019

Careful about the Perfection trap.

Great info on the Universal shift from the Age of Pisces and the growth of new Religious leaders that followers can lean...
09/25/2019
The Aquarian Shift: What will be Different?

Great info on the Universal shift from the Age of Pisces and the growth of new Religious leaders that followers can lean on - to the age of Aquarius, where we learn to lean into ourselves! That is why I want to help you KNOW & LOVE & MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR SELVES!

Good read, but here's a snippet.

"The Aquarian Age will be dominated by networks, and information. The key phrase for this age is “Be to be.” The key to the astrological sign Aquarius is “I know.” This is the age of information. Nothing is secret anymore. All information is available at your fingertips. Where the Piscean age was organized in a vertical, up and down structure of hierarchies, the Aquarian Age is organized in a horizontal network, opening the world up to true equality.

During this age, the focus is no longer on your identity and existence (“to be or not to be”), but on accepting yourself as a whole person (“be to be”) who does not need to believe in something outside of yourself. You are ready to accept that you have the knowledge and wisdom within yourself. It is no longer necessary to attach to something outside yourself, but to become a leader of one: yourself. Instead of being a railroad car that is pulled by an engine, you become your own engine. It is your responsibility to stay on the tracks and to keep moving forward."

By Dr. Santokh Singh: For the next 2000 years we will be in the Aquarian Age. We have been in the transition from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age for the last 50 years. Every person on planet Earth has been and will be affected by this shift.

09/16/2019

Open yourself up to ALL OF YOUR SELVES.

09/11/2019
Malcolm Gladwell on how face-to-face interactions can be misleading

Notwithstanding those of us who are Skeptic/Cynic Dominant (as I talk about in my book), the default state for humans is to believe others.

What do Bernie Madoff, Sylvia Plath, the TV show "Friends," and Amanda Knox have in common? According to a new book by best-selling author Malcom Gladwell, t...

We learn from what our parents do even more than what they say.
08/13/2019

We learn from what our parents do even more than what they say.

Not sure who the artist is, but I love this...

06/11/2019

This is good relationship advice. Your real "Soul Mate" is inside of you. Being in touch with him/her can help you know when you meet"the one".

05/28/2019

How the combat the judge/Critic. Notice the words "feel" and "heart" as the key.

05/20/2019

I clear Toxic Inner Voices to get to your Higher Self & begin your Soul's Journey.

But you can sort them out~  Name them to Tame them!
05/13/2019

But you can sort them out~ Name them to Tame them!

Great talk.  We can deal with all of this in Alchemical Hypnotherapy sessions.  But I have also been studying brain rese...
04/12/2019
The biology of our best and worst selves | Robert Sapolsky

Great talk. We can deal with all of this in Alchemical Hypnotherapy sessions. But I have also been studying brain research so I can also explain it to you. We do our work in the Middle Brain, or the Limbic System, where the Amygdala and Hippocampus he mentions exist. Talk therapy does not! That's why Alchemy sessions are so quick to create change!

Good listen, but I don't know he skipped from teenage years to the womb. He skipped the age from birth to 6 years old when we are in a hypnotic state where we are completely programmed by our environment. That's when people who were abused are really in trouble. No parents to help if they're the abuser. That was too important to skip over.

How can humans be so compassionate and altruistic -- and also so brutal and violent? To understand why we do what we do, neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky looks...

'This same concept of loving your "outer" enemies holds true for the "enemies" within your head - that dreaded Judge/Cri...
03/22/2019
Love Your Enemies, But Still Disagree with Them | National Review

'This same concept of loving your "outer" enemies holds true for the "enemies" within your head - that dreaded Judge/Critic along with his other cronies who hold court inside your mind.

When we can't find peace inside ourselves, we'll never find it with others!

Subtitle of my book: "Learning to Love the Voices in Your Head." If you can't get it done with the exercises in the book, give me a call. It's actually fun to see who is in there!

Brooks argues that “motive attribution asymmetry” leads people to assume that those with whom they disagree are motivated by hate.

Words Matter!
03/20/2019
Stochastic Terrorism

Words Matter!

As outlined in this Rolling Stone piece. Definition: " Stochastic terrorism...means using language and other forms of communication 'to incite random actors to carry out violent or terrorist acts that are statistically predictable but individually...

Good way to stay out of Co-dependency!  Remember the subtitle of my book is "Learning to Love all the Voices in Your Hea...
02/18/2019

Good way to stay out of Co-dependency! Remember the subtitle of my book is "Learning to Love all the Voices in Your Head" - or I could have said, as I do in the book, "Learning to Fall in Love with Yourself"!

01/03/2019

Learn to follow your Inner Voice!

Was (or is) there a Mr or Mrs Right who has wreaked havoc with your emotions and may still be creating an Inner Critic i...
09/09/2018
The Link Between Verbal Abuse And Anxiety That No One Talks About

Was (or is) there a Mr or Mrs Right who has wreaked havoc with your emotions and may still be creating an Inner Critic inside of you? Probably. Think about it.

Long-term mental abuse is closely related to developing anxiety. All of the trauma and stress that accumulate over time eventually result in developing a mental disorder, out of which anxiety is the most common. There is much stigma in regards to verbal abuse, so many people actually consider it leg...

08/31/2018
Tom Bilyeu

If your Inner Judge or Ms. Perfect is yelling at you in your head, you need to find out whose voice that really is or when it entered your psyche, and update it. Maybe it goes back to when you were 2 years old and got yelled at for being stupid. Seen that hundreds of times.

Learn to listen to and love all those voices in your head if they are yours. If they are another person's voice yelling at you in there, you can tell them where to go!

Alchemy helps you Become One Self.

It's far better to be a diamond with a flaw than the perfect pebble.

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