06/18/2026
There are many parts of me
A system of multiplicity
Parts of me get upset, anxious, angry, afraid, sad
With people, jobs, circumstances, survival mode
With life events and daily living experiences
With the news of the hour, day, week, month, year
Producing, contributing, consuming, grinding away at life
Different parts show up around different people, family, and relationships
Different parts show up around different circumstances, events, experiences
Different parts show up during different interactions, disagreements, conflict
Parts can become labels from others
Labels hurt, labels stigmatize, labels dehumanize
Labels don’t educate
Labels weaken empathy, connection, compassion
Addict, Manic, Depressive, Bipolar, Crazy, Sc**zo, Borderline, Narcissist, Loner, Odd, Quirky,
Lazy, Dumb, Dreamer, Eccentric, Absent-Minded, Distractible, Hyperactive, Behavioral Problem,
Emotional, Irrational, Toxic, Judgmental, Avoidant, Anxious, Neurotic, Disagreeable, Aggressive,
Shaming, Blaming, Criticizing, Controlling, Manipulating, Anti-social, Invalidating, Gaslighting,
Passive Aggressive, Codependent, Needy, Clingy, and on, and on
The labels don’t tell the whole story
In a calm, clear, state of wise mind
My pure conscious self sits in the center and knows,
My proactive decisions and actions are protective
My emotional reactions and avoidance are defensive
How I respond to my thoughts, sensations, and emotions is entirely up to me
How I show up in the world is my choice
My ultimate peace and happiness is a decision I make in every moment
Because although I never knew it,
My internal conscious mind,
The observation of my experience,
My psyche, my personality
My current state of mind
Is made up of many parts or subpersonalities
Parts of myself are like a family
Every part has their own
Sensations, emotions, thoughts, motivations, agenda
Memory, beliefs, expectations, perceptions, presence, and behaviors
Some of the parts protect me (the self) from other parts
Some of the parts protect young, wounded, and vulnerable parts of me from the world
Parts of me sometimes take over my conscious mind
Parts of me sometimes are blended with me (the self)
It becomes difficult to know what part is activated or in charge
At any given moment
Some Parts are tired, overwhelmed, overstimulated, exhausted
From protecting me (the self)
From protecting the wounded vulnerable parts of me
Parts that were hurt
Suffering in the pain, shame, guilt, loneliness, grief, sadness
Hidden away from the outside world
Exiled
Some parts do their job of protecting me and the wounded vulnerable parts
With no thanks and no reward
With contempt and criticism from other parts of me
If the protector parts don’t do their job
The wounded vulnerable parts feelings
Will overwhelm me (the self)
Although the intent is to keep me safe
The roles they play and the way they do their job
Isn’t always graceful, helpful, considerate, calm, compassionate, or connected
Isn’t always healthy, cooperative, creative, confident, or courageous
Procrastination, distraction, numbing, avoiding, blaming, shaming
Manipulation, over-control, gaslighting, invalidating
Persistent drive for autonomy, sensitive to rejection, reactive to emotions
To name just a few of the roles
So, one day I just decided to start a conversation with my parts
I was already doing it anyway
Speaking from my parts, speaking as my parts, and speaking about my parts
This was normal and comfortable
What if I could feel toward my parts, talk to my parts, and speak for my parts
And so I began
A long journey that day
First, I learned mindfulness, meditation
I learned distress tolerance, and emotion regulation
Then, I learned how to identify parts
Through sensations, images, thoughts, memories, emotions, inner sense, behaviors
Or maybe through shapes, colors, elements
I learned how to access parts
I learned how to feel the parts, sense the parts, or visualize the parts
I learned how to separate my “self” from the parts
I learned how to speak to the parts, and for the parts, not from the parts
To my protector parts, I said
“Thank you so much”
“Your job is very important, and seems exhausting”
“I truly appreciate why you do what you do for me”
And I meant it
I asked the upset protective parts
Can you, will you, soften?
Can you, will you, step aside?
Can I help you with your job?
Can you trust me to help you?
I asked the protective parts
What is wrong?
What is happening?
What are you afraid of?
What are you hoping to accomplish?
What do you need at this moment?
Vulnerable parts of me were feeling
Neglected, Rejected, Disrespected, Humiliated
Exploited, Abused, Alone, Lost
Fearful, Grieving losses, Pain and suffering
The vulnerable parts of me believed
We will be all alone and afraid
We are a bad person
We are not able to love
We are not able to be loved
We are not good enough
We are not living up to our fullest potential
All the parts of me are not “bad parts”
Protector parts of me have a positive intent
Either playing offense proactively, or playing defense reactively
My doing and thinking parts are protective
My avoiding and numbing parts are protective
My fighting, righteous, and reactive parts are protective
They all have roles to play, responsibilities in my system, jobs to do
Sometimes proactive, sometimes reactive
They watch over the wounded and vulnerable parts of me holding burdens
Vulnerability, Suffering, Memory, Trauma, Pain
Shame, Guilt, Insecurity, Inadequacy, Invalidated
Neglect, Rejection, Abandonment, Invisibility
So many stories, so many memories
It gets overwhelming sometimes
I asked the protectors, can I talk to the wounded parts, the vulnerable parts
Can I talk to the younger parts, the hidden children?
If I talk to them and find out what they need
And how they can be transformed
We can work together with them, give them what they need
And live with those parts in harmony, thriving, resilient
Some concerned parts appeared
They said, “we’re not so sure about this” and “you’re not allowed to go there.”
So, I asked the new worried and anxious parts,
What are you concerned about?
They said, “It won’t work. It will make it worse. We will feel terrible. Overwhelmed”
We agreed to try it anyway
Assurances were made, they would monitor the process closely
And step in if they felt the system were not safe
I was attuned, compassionate, considerate, calm, and confident
With curiosity,
I asked the wounded parts holding onto attachments and burdens
What burdens do you carry?
What beliefs do you hold that no longer serve you?
What pain have you endured?
How long have you suffered?
I am sorry you carried this alone
With awareness and insight
The mindful, core presence of my pure conscious self says,
Mindfulness and meditation will bring us into wise mind, and a flow state
In this state of wise mind, self leadership position, I asked the parts
Can I help you so you are not so tired?
Can I help the parts who are hurting?
Do you trust me to do the work?
I let these parts know
That I truly appreciate their efforts and positive intent for me
I finally understand
In a trusted and healing mode
I said to the younger, vulnerable, burdened, exiled parts
Show me your pain and suffering
Show me your memories
Share your core beliefs, thoughts, emotions
Let me bring you into the present moment
Can you share that pain with me that you’ve been carrying?
Let me comfort you and care for you
Let us process the pain together, correctly this time
They said,
Where have you been?
We needed you
I said,
I wasn’t able to protect you then
I lacked the strength, resilience, and resolve
I didn’t have enough awareness and presence
But I can love you and protect you now
I have strength, confidence, courage
In a supportive and compassionate way
I said to the burdened parts
When you are ready, you can let all that pain go
The vulnerable parts said yes please
We are so tired and alone
We engaged in healing and restorative ceremonies
Corrective experiences of reconsolidating the memories
The vulnerable parts, concerned parts, and protective parts chose which way to heal
After each ceremony of healing or corrective experience
The parts of me were able to
Exist in my mind in a place of their choosing
Remind me of the past without overwhelming the whole system
Protect me as I maintain healthy boundaries, with assertiveness
Watch over me while I make my way in the world
Develop new, healthy beliefs, about us, others, and the world
Embody new qualities and new character strengths
Align with our values and practice committed actions
Now I remain,
compassionate, connected, calm, clear, curious, creative, courageous, and confident.
Cooperative, considerate, empathic, passionate, playful, persistent, and present
I exist in a state of wise mind with self in the lead
Namaste
Love and light
My fellow travelers
We, the system
~ James Fitzgerald, LCMHC
